</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> They are all on their own now. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Even the 16 and 17 year old?

Susan

<small>[ June 26, 2004, 01:00 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

Susan - Sadly, yes. Their mom is a drug addict. I tried to rescue them many, many times. They don't want to live with me, because they would have to go to school.

The 17 year old is living with her boyfriend, the 16 year old is living with a friend and her family.

lostnhurt said..

Believer, all you said are valid. Now you have to ask yourself that do you still love him? I know it is a hard question to answer, but we have to, right?

what does love have to do with it??

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......................

ARK

ark -

I do love him. He is a good man. I just don't want to be his wife - it's a no win situation. I am his third wife.

His 1st he married at 20. He left her while she was pregnant for another woman. She has never remarried. Then he got with mother of 2 of his kids, and their 2 sisters. He cheated on her and left her for another woman.

Are you following how dumb I am? Then he got with woman he left his children's mother for and had another child with her, and then left her for another woman.

Then he married second wife, and she left him. She told him that she always felt last on his list.

Then I met him at work, and we were friends for several years, then started dating. He was wonderful and treated me like a queen. He begged me to marry him, but of course I had reservations. But finally I gave in.

We were happily married about the first three years. And that is saying alot raising all these kids. There were constant problems.

Then he just stopped doing anything for me. I just kept going on, hoping things would get better. The minute the kids were on their own, he took off with his girlfriend, who, by the way, abandoned her daughter.

I know, I know, what a mess. I only have myself to blame. I thought he had changed.

Believer
I am not questioning if you love him or not...


love without action....
equal to faith without deeds?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

love without action..

serves whom?

love is not enough....
the beatles say love is all you need?

and to really play devils advocate with the word love...
then all the OP's would be with the WS.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
for surely they use the word love...

love as a word
love as an action

love as a feeling

how does love serve...

serve others
serve ourselves....


believer...none of this is a direct challenge to you...

no need to explain or defend..

just musings about the word love...

ark

ark -

I don't know. What I am thinking now is to just continue like I have been doing - WITHOUT him.

I think I am suffering from the empty nest syndrome. I always wanted to have foster children, and may look into that. I love children and think I would be a good foster mom. The only thing that I worry about is having to give them up. I used to do volunteer work with foster kids, and the foster parents that I knew got used to giving them up. I think it would be a problem for me.

Believer...i never knew your situation until today.

Why are you still waiting for this man who has a history of going after OW??? WS is not worth it

You deserve better. It is time you kick some butt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I say again...set a deadline and keep to it. You must do it and move on.

Again, I say ...

look inward at YOUR motives....

What is your goal?

If your goal is to be happily married.... do you think it is ~possible~ that this man, the multiple WS, has what it takes to be a devoted faithful husband to ~anyone~.

It is not YOU he is leaving ... it is family commitments and responsibility.

I think what you want and what he wants are not the same.

Peter Pan with wrinkles..... how can he stop himself from flying away when adventure calls?

Pep

Thanks pep. I have been thinking about my motives all weekend. Wow, this is strange - I spent way too much time thinking about his, gave him too much power in my life.

But I feel excited to look at my reasoning. Don't think there is much "reason" in it.

While you are around, can you check the moving on thread? How can these WW be helped to start filling their BH's LB? And how do they get physical again with BH? Thanks

Believer, I agreed with Melodylane. You deserve the best.