Boy do I know what you mean. My WH was so mean to me during the affair, verbally. Everything was me, me, me. And when I started closing in boy things got ugly. It was a side that I hadn't really seen and really didn't like. He was so good at convincing me that I was the one with the issues and the insecurities (which is true to a point, I do have those) that I went to an IC to try and work out my issues when all along he was the one having the A.

After D-Day and several talks later, I finally asked him what the purpose was for treating me the way he did, and said the things he said, truth be told those actions and words hurt more then the affair, but his response was it was the lesser of two evils. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Not sure how I feel about that because if you ask me either action hurt me horribly just in different ways!

Hugs to you!
LJB

Another thing he told me also about all this was his big thing was he was trying to make me doubt myself especially when I started closing in.

Boy did he do that, but I knew I was right and sure enought, I was. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I am nothing like OW, even WS said so. We are completely and totally opposite in looks and most definitely personality. I have never done drugs or cheated. I'm not mean and vindictive, or violent, nor would I use my children if I had any. H and I were best friends long before we ever became a couple. People envied our relationship. H supposedly fell in love with OW in less than a week. I have always been independent, on my own since I was 17. OW can't be without a man, period, brags about being a prostitute, can't hold a job, and uses whatever she can to get what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. Ever since the day he met OW he has been cruel and heartless. It's like he purposely goes out of his way to be mean. He cheats and I'm the one who gets hurt and blamed for everything. All for a lying, cheating, manipulating, disgusting, crack w**** who has kids she can't take care of.

The part I don't get is OW treats WS like crap. Yet H thinks she's wondeful. Is this part of the fog as well? I never disrespected him or betrayed his trust.

Up until the day H met OW I believed he loved me with all his heart and soul. He never once gave me any reason to doubt his love. Enter OW and I've questioned everything from the day we met. I have to listen to other people tell me that H never loved me, all he ever did was use me, and our M was nothing but a big joke. All this after 13 yrs. of loving each other.

Cyn

I know that doubt...WH acts like we were never happy a single day. He won't get rid of OW "yet", and he doesn't want a D. Screw you, Fogman, for your wretched words and evil cold heart. The OW can do no wrong despite the fact that she is a complete loser...whatever.

They are all foggified!

I just don't get it. OW gets a H who cheats and H gets a married woman who cheats. Yet they both somehow believe neither one would do it to the other. It's OK that you cheat as long as it's with me and not on me. Then the BS's get treated like crap to somehow justify this. Is it fantasyland or did their brains fall out?

<small>[ July 19, 2004, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Cyn1018 ]</small>