NCW/RAP: Hope things are still going well for you two. I suppose vacation is about up. Anyway, I was thinking of you when I saw another thread on here. So I wanted to give you this link to this recent thread. You know my thoughts on this. You'll also know when the time is right, but I just wanted to give you some more food for thought (I'm not trying to give you a 2x4 or anything).

another recent exposure link

Take care,
Rich

Hello all,

"Stealing" a little time at work to let you all know that RAP and I are back home safe.

We were offline as we enjoyed the 3DS.

The time away did us some good. I mentally feel much better now that I have confronted OM. I feel it will help RAP make the right choices.

I think she is ready to focus on the marriage. We had some good talks on the trip. Picked up a few reccomended books.

Returned home late last night. Back to triggers. RAP seemed kind of down. She may post today, maybe not. I am still worried about living in this town and am making it my focus to move out of here.

Thanks for the support and prayers,

NCWalker

Dear NC & RAP,

Just saw your post as I was logging off.

Really glad you are both back safe.

Thinking of you both lots.

Please give RAP my love and best wishes.

I understand that now she is back 'triggers' will start and will cause her to be upset and down (loads)..

Please know I care about you both and wish you all the best (lots of best..) as you sort this out together.

Take care,

Love to you both,

Kas

NC,,

I know you have not heard from me in a while. I just now read this whole post.
You said that you post advice to others to help but in truth you are helping yourself. Whats wrong with that..... like you said its how you feel. You know how I was you know the mistakes I made handeling MY WW. I wish I was able to somehow help you and RAP.... but its like you said only you can ultimately make your decisions.
However, I have to say that wheather it was for yourself or for me and my wife, your advice and perspective was a great motivator for me in overcoming my resentment. In a way you took some of your courage and handed it to me.
Me and my wife are both thankful to you and to RAP for asking you to speak to me.
I was lost and needed someone to give it to me straight.
While I try to post to BS just to let them know they are not alone I often quote you when doing so.
I feel so helpless when I read about you and RAP.
I also know its like my DAD told me, "If you havent been there you just dont give advice on it"
While I have been betrayed by my wife, I also know I cannot reflect to you and RAP. So far me and my Wife have not been a day apart since you banged my head on the wall. All I can truly say is I hope for you and your wife the best. And I am still thankful for both of you.

Eric,

Thank you for the wonderful sentiment. I am truly happy some of the things I have said were a help to you.

I had been wondering what became of you, since your thread got really quiet. It is wonderful that you and your wife are so far along with recovery. Many blessings to you and your family.

Be careful before giving me too much credit. I just slung out some advice I myself need to take. YOU did all the hard work. YOU had to take all the stuff you heard here and MAKE it work. Sounds like you did. Enjoy the benefits and NEVER forget what you are supposed to do as a husband. You should be happy the rest of your life.

I have hope that RAP and I will make it too. We have had ups and downs and there will probably be more to come. Lately it has been feeling like the ups and downs have been leveling off, not so extreme. A good thing. Lately, we both have been willing to listen first to each other. Another good thing. I guess at this point we just need to be plugging along repairing our marriage. It truly needed to be done BEFORE the affair. The affair has just made it harder. But not impossible.

I know that I love her enough. I believe she loves me enough. We both love God. Why wouldn't it work?

Again, thanks for the sentiment and congratulations

NCWalker

I was not sure where to post this, so here it is for now.

I am off to an IC meeting shortly, but needed to come here first.

I have much to say, but will have to hold off some.

Thanks to everyone who has given so much to NCW and myself. You really need to know that it did SO MUCH to know you were out there, and to hear your advice.

I feel like I owe everyone an apology for what I have put you through(ofcourse H knows too).

Again, too much to say with little time.

It was so much easier being away from here. No major triggers. Sadness, maybe loss, confusion, but a real peace from triggers.

It was good for H and I. I was able to be a little more available to him.

Today is the first day home. Triggers everywhere. I thought I would be okay. I am definitely much better than before.

But the whole neighborhood thing is like an in your face trigger. I see the rejection every day. I am making plans so I can focus on other things. I will need this a lot I believe.

I guess the reason I am posting is because I need your help again. It doesn't feel possible to go on being here. I know that is silly, but boy, it was like it all floated back when I came home.

What H did confronting OM was incredible. I have to say I was angry. I was more concerned at the time that OM would be angry with me. Just the truth.

That story could take a whole thread in itself(the confrontation between H and OM).

It was a good thing. OM will not risk his wife knowing. H convinced him he has much more knowledge than OM ever thought he could about his life, etc.

OMS W still in the dark. I know that worries you all. It worries me too.

I spent enough time away to really sober up. But the pain is still very much there. I will need you all so I can focus on the right things, not him.

Sorry to be so blatant to ask for help, but I will need it.

Missed you all very much. Thank you for your help. Thank you for helping NCW. He needed you I am sure with what I put him through.

Thanks,
Pam

RAP: Good to have you back. It's great that you and NCW are able to start recovering your marriage. Good luck with IC. Our love to you both.

God Bless,
Rich