And this one's in my sig line. I heard it on the Today show, live. I didn't know those guys could write so well!

Bare Naked Ladies, "For You"

"I have set aside everything I love
I have saved everything else for you
I cannot decide what this doubt's made of
Though I thought over it through and through

In a book in a box high upon a shelf
In a locked and guarded vault
Are the things I keep only for myself
It's your fate but it's not your fault

CHORUS:
And for every useless reason I know
There's a reason not to care
If I hide myself wherever I go
Am I ever really there?

There is nowhere else I would rather be,
but I can't just be right here
An enigma wrapped in a mystery,
or a fool consumed by fear

CHORUS
And for every useless reason I know
There's a reason not to care
If I hide myself wherever I go
Am I ever really there?

I will give you all I could ever give
Though it's less than you will need
Could you just forget, if you can't forgive
All the things I cannot concede

CHORUS
And for every useless reason I know
There's a reason not to care
If I hide myself wherever I go
Am I ever really there?"

-ol' 2long

I can see a lot of positive things in this post.

1. You called it "2long's update" and not 2long's downdate.
I see that as positive.

2. You aren't divorced yet.

3. She isn't divorced yet.

4. NC, is NC. A college English professor once told me that doing the right thing for the wrong reason is much better than not doing the right thing at all. He said that if you go ahead and do it, it can become the right reason as you go along, but if you refrain from doing it, you have no chance.
For instance, if someone quits smoking for the wrong reason, they still are better off than if they continued to smoke. If she can stick it out, I think you really have something with this one.

Your comment on not being angry struck a cord with me.

Later when something else comes up, you can tell her that - Yes it is frustrating and you may show some of the signs of anger, but you want to get past it, and work it out, because you really do love her. The reason you are still there, and still talking is because you are trying to get over your own weaknesses and make the marriage into something really good. Watch for the chance to use this one, it helps me lots. I used to LB all over the place, now I can talk more calmly.

You have been doing this so long I am surprised you haven't changed your name to 4long. Or at least 2long squared.

No, I didn't see this post, but I have now.

Have a good weekend, don't fall off a ladder and hurt yourself unless it will get you the maximum ammount of sympthy and doctoring - or nurseing as the case may be.

SS

Hi SS:

"You aren't divorced yet.

She isn't divorced yet."

You made me smile!

"NC, is NC. A college English professor once told me that doing the right thing for the wrong reason is much better than not doing the right thing at all. He said that if you go ahead and do it, it can become the right reason as you go along, but if you refrain from doing it, you have no chance."

This is absolutely true, and the very reason I jumped at the chance 2 move back home when I did a few months ago when she agreed 2 "temporary NC". It HAS BEEN far better than the other, "permanent C", or whatever, and it has started the "true" withdrawl process. My W is having migranes more lately, and she sleeps a lot. I'm starting 2 wonder if this is physical withdrawl, like from the endorphines or some such. If so, the addiction is surprisingly powerful. Scary stuff, in fact.

"For instance, if someone quits smoking for the wrong reason, they still are better off than if they continued to smoke. If she can stick it out, I think you really have something with this one."

I think so, 2.

"The reason you are still there, and still talking is because you are trying to get over your own weaknesses and make the marriage into something really good."

This is when the line "It's easier 2 try, than 2 2rn around and run" in an old Moody Blues song really makes sense. It's easier 2 run than 2 deal with problems, ...until you realize you take yourself with you wherever you run. So, you might as well deal with your problems. After all, where you are now, you're more familiar with, and even if those around you don't appear 2 care about your problems, they probably care a whole helluva lot more than some stranger wherever you might have run 2.

"You have been doing this so long I am surprised you haven't changed your name to 4long. Or at least 2long squared."

Thought about 3long. Then, change the name every month. ...I'd be 31long by now, though (because I've never been 1long).

"don't fall off a ladder and hurt yourself unless it will get you the maximum ammount of sympthy and doctoring - or nurseing as the case may be."

Good idea! ...except our ceilings are 12 feet, and I'm working near them a lot these days... ...that's 2long a ways for ol' 2long 2fall.

2dles,
-ol' 2long