Kept D today WW called at 9:00am.....Asked where D was......Told WW D did not want to come down there .......Told her that D had bible camp this week.......WW asked why we did not call, told WW that we did but phone was blocked.....WW said she was going to call the cops......I told her go for it......They will not do anything there is no paper work...........WW said why r u doing this to me.........she was screaming and then hung up..............WW called back at 10:00 am.....Told me not to call no more and that her lawyer will be contacting me...........She said she wants half the house......I told her that I don't want a D but if she does she will have to pay for it......She said after she gets done I will never see D again.........I called lawyer and he said that if I take D down there she will do the same thing to me by keeping D.He said that I should let WW se D or the judge will be PI**** What do I do I don't have $1000.00.................

Need help!!!!!!!!!!!!

Contact legal aide in your state.

There are web sites dedicated to helping FATHERS retain custody.... google "father custody rights"...... see what you can learn.

You don't have to take your daughter anywhere, unless the court has given you instructions to do so.

YOU are not keeping your wife from seeing your daughter.... your wife can drive home and see her anytime she likes, right?

Who said YOU must drive the kid to see your wife? Is there a court order?

If there is a judgement that your wife sees the daughter 2 times a week... then your wife must make the effort to get to where the kids is ... not your problem.

Keep in mind, this site is NOT going to be your best resource for legal questions.... use a different site for that.

Pep

I would ask her why she allowed the OM to block your ability to call her if she felt that seeing her daughter was important. Tell her that you made an honest attempt to contact her, but couldn't for that reason. You may also ask her why she is doing this to you. She is the one having an affair and talking about screwing the OM for two hours in the presence of her minor daughter. You may want to have your lawyer draw up a separation agreement to protect your interests and to clearly define how custody will be handled. Make sure that you document everything by keeping a running log of all conflicts with your WW and the OM. Make sure to detail the incident where your daughter overheard your WW and her girlfriend taling about sex with the OM. She is not a fit parent, but you need to build up a case. Ask your lawyer to contact your WW to arrange for mutually convenient time to discuss the separation agreement, as she has instructed you not to call her directly. You are taking control away from you WW and the one thing that a WS wants is total control. It is almost a given that she will respond with anger when you begin to lay down some ground rules. Reality hurts and she needs a healthy dose of it at this point.

link

This site has a message board suited to your custody questions.... they also have message boards for individual states, since issues change across state borders.

Good luck.... keep fathering!

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong>I called lawyer and he said that if I take D down there she will do the same thing to me by keeping D.He said that I should let WW se D or the judge will be PI**** What do I do I don't have $1000.00................. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ok, Frank, you never told your W she couldn't see your D, did you? You can tell your W she can come see your D anytime she wants, but you won't be taking her into the OM's home again. Did you tell your lawyer the sitution and explain to him why you kept her home?

Don't let her scare you, Frank. Seek legal advice, but protect your D at all costs.

Frank, did you read mfisher and Pepperband's posts? They were excellent suggestions and I hope you follow through.

The worst thing you can do is REACT to your W's anger. Please don't let her control you with her anger.

Frank,

U did let your lawyer know about OM's record right? Now get that info in front of the local police dept and file an RO against him in behalf of your D. See what you W will do about that.

Work smart and fast. Keep your Lawyer informed and work with your legal cousel.

Hear her bluffs and don't fall for them. Funny how she is the one calling you and telling you not to call her. Crazy? Report it.

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong> Kept D today WW called at 9:00am.....Asked where D was......Told WW D did not want to come down there .......Told her that D had bible camp this week</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Frank, not to pile on, but please stop using your D as an excuse to do the right thing. What you said here is not the truth. You need to tell your W the TRUTH like a man. Make her deal with the consequences she has reaped and please stop protecting her from the truth. Don't use your D as a scapegoat.

She did have Bible camp and I could not get a word in edge wise........WW was pi**** told me is going for half the house........Shoulg I keep D again..........

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong> She did have Bible camp and I could not get a word in edge wise........WW was pi**** told me is going for half the house........Shoulg I keep D again.......... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Frank,

What is safe for your daughter? When you figure it out, that is what you s/d. How old is your daughter? Is she old enough to have a say in where she goes? Does she feel safe around your W and OM?

L.

Frank,
I think we are speaking 2 different languages here. Do you think that being around the OM and your wife's affair is an appropriate environment for a 10 year old girl?

Planning on keeping D ..........Yes she is ten and I thingk the state reconize 12 yrs old bout will take in conceration of D...........

Frank,
DO NOT cave in to your W's anger, she is panicking and trying to manipulate you.

Until today, she was getting her way, you shocked her, good for you!

Seek legal advice ASAP, we are not the best source for that but are good for other stuff so don't run away from here.

You are not keeping your w from seeing your D. Your W has decided to leave her family and thus is not able to see her. Remember that, it is HER choice to live at the OM's house.

Do not panic by her discussion of 1/2 the house, she is trying to scare you. You will NOT lose all custody of your D, she is more likely to find herself in that situation. Again, she is trying to manipulate you.

Do not use bible camp or any other activity as an excuse even if it is true. The real resaon you do not want to take your D is because it is an inappropriate environment for a child.

Sexual discussions, the OM's DUI and weapons charges, your phone # blocked, his D.L. revoked etc. THOSE are the issues!

Put it all in writing and get legal help NOW!

What plan do I use now............

Frank, right now its Plan-Protect-Your-daughter in a firm, non lovebusting way. That is Plan A.

thank you again I hope I am doing right.......Tonite I am going to pray for an answer............

Good job, Frank, you can use all the help from above you can get. Please pray for courage and guidance! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Frank,
I hope someone wiser than me comes along soon, but I wanted to offer a few words of support.

I think you are too concerned with the "what plan" question and need to work on a few specific issues here one day at a time. Every situation is different and no one can say Plan A or Plan B is going to solve your particular problems. PLEASE stop worrying about the Plan issue and take the good advise you are getting here.

You need legal advice tomorrow. Saving your marriage right now is not the most important issue. Saving your 10 year old D from living in the OM's home is your problem now, as I see it.

Your W is too angry to negotiate or act rationally. You have sent her into a rage because you are standing up for what is right in the face of her selfish desires.

If your W calls, tell her she is welcome to come to your home when you are there to spend time with her D. Period, end of discussion. You are not keeping her from her D, her affair is. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

You do not have to have a lot of $$ to get legal help. Call your state legal aid offices, check the website given to you earlier, etc.

Don't panic, stay strong, get help tomorrow and let us know what happens. Ladysing

OOPS, Melodylane DID come along but I was posting at the same time!

<small>[ July 12, 2004, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: Ladysing58 ]</small>

Well said, LadySing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />