|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 218
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 218 |
2long
1 case of beer a month - American beer?
Max is 4 beers in one whole day?
If thats a drinking problem, then I'm Mr. Spock (excuse me while I sharpen my ears LOL)
It sounds to me just like fog-speak. Your WW feels guilty and hence looks to focus on trivialities and minutiae - i.e. I only have my OM becuase you have your beer.
Next thing will be the way you tie your shoes, or what colour your socks are, or what brand toothpaste you use...
Enjoy your beer and focus on the more important things.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291 |
"I realized that this wave of INTENSE anger had just about overcome me, because I felt like I was about 2 punch the guy in the side of the head. I've not been that angry in many, many years, and I've never acted out."
YES...the "short fuse" syndrome (my term, but feel free to use it). I've been fighting this since d-day. Stepping outside of myself, I believe it has everything to do with the utter feeling of helplessness encountered by BS (maybe a "male thing") during this "stage" of the process. An (almost) overwhelming urge to make someone/anyone pay for this hurt!
Just another one of those "things" that needs to be suppressed. Anger management...gives new meaning to the term.
Be strong my friend!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,607
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,607 |
2Long:
First, If the amount of beer you are actually consuming is the same as what your stating here, then I don't think you have a problem.
When did this place become AA anyway? (hold your 2x4's, I realize that you all were just looking out for 2longs best interests....I got that).
I know he appreciates the concern.......for sure.
Indeed, I can see where someone who only drinks occasionally or even never, would see this amount of consumption as a problem. Its all a matter of perception. Agreed.
However, 2long YOU sound in control enough to me to know if its a problem for YOU or not.
Shoot, with your W's attitude, I'm shocked that you aren't drinking more.
(On certain days I'm considering going back myself).
In any case, all I see here is a man attempting to yet once again somehow "Reach" his W with how Important this NC policy is.
IMO you were Not doing a tit for tat bargain.
YOU were just using something that she Knew is important to you, to try and make her "SEE" that the NC thing is Even MORE important.
I applaud you for still being willing to even try different tactics at this point.
Of course its not an even trade. Its apples and oranges.
But I don't think that was your Point.
I believe just going with something SHE Wanted & was already mentioning, was meant to be an "eye" opener.
Probable just wasn't enough shock value in it.
I suspect that This is most likely just an annoyance to her and not a true problem.
Hence the Luke warm reaction to your offer. ( I mean not even a moment to stop and consider???)
Ya know what? This all sounded so much better in my head.
Think I'll just stop now while I'm still ahead.
later
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,513
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,513 |
BTW, Withdrawl can be the most difficult time for the WS. Many feel it is good to do as much as possible to help them through it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Should I just leave you alone? SS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,607
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,607 |
Pep,
Your response came through while I was typing.
I do see your point and your perspective on this. (Glad to know its NOT about the drinking).
Yes, this could be an opportunity for him.
Just don't know if he's willing to give on this one.
Guess he'll let us know.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937 |
2long, Personally, I'd put an iced-down keg on her side of the bed. That ought to open up some possibilities for discussion. And I have several one-liners that I won't post here---but you can figure them out, I'm sure... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,178
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,178 |
o2l, regarding your shopping confrontation...
Are you getting enough exercise? If you aren't, try to. The exertion will calm that raging thing inside you. I exhaust myself swimming several times a week. The only thing I kick and swing my arms at is water, and I still walk away from the pool far more calm and at peace than I am beforehand.
GC
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by K: <strong> 2long, Personally, I'd put an iced-down keg on her side of the bed. That ought to open up some possibilities for discussion. And I have several one-liners that I won't post here---but you can figure them out, I'm sure... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Bwwhaaaa <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Are you suggesting 2Long have "relations" with an iced down keg? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
WOW!
Is it safe 2 assume that all the responses are due 2 me changing the subject from "Seemingly OT, but not: Beer!" 2 "So long and thanks for all the fish!"?
I'll never know, perhaps.
tr:
"Shoot, with your W's attitude, I'm shocked that you aren't drinking more."
This is an important point, and not one I think you made intentionally: At various times in the past 2.5 years, I HAVE drank more because of what I perceived my W was or wasn't doing. I admit that I was drinking 2 "numb the pain", and still do that 2 some degree, though not all that often.
I'm going 2 give up the beer for now and see what happens. (though I really do like GOOD beer!).
So much of this is due 2 my Taker really being tired as hell of all this $h!+. I recognize that as well.
For relaxation, I haul one of my telescopes out and gee whiz the universe. It's like going on a wonderful, fabulous journey from my own back yard. Did so last night.
Gotta run 2 a meeting, then we're supposed 2 take the fam 2 see I Robot. Heard some bad things about it. Hope they're unfounded.
-ol' 2long
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Hmmmmmmm. Give up beer? This could be a "golden" experiment. Maybe I'll start a poll on this. Plan A has us give, give, give to eliminate ANY complaints of a WS so as (and this is my filler) to eliminate any and all excuses we can that the WS has delivered for why the marriage is over. She complains about your dirty underwear on the floor, stop putting it there. She complains about the way you scratch, stop scratching. She complains about the way you always think you're right, intentionally be wrong once in a while. She complains about drinking, stop drinking. So, give it a try. I'll make up for your part. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I predict NO CHANGE. So, my poll would be, "Do you think 2long's wife will change one iota if he stops drinking beer.?" Pardon me while I get another cold one........... WAT <small>[ July 19, 2004, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
"So, my poll would be, "Do you think 2long's wife will change one iota if he stops drinking beer.?"You devil you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> And... MY poll would be: Does NOT meeting WW's request to stop drinking beer *increase* the chances of marriage recovery? Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
2long... I refrain and restrain from posting to you...cause I like you so darn much... and I pray for justlearnings wisdom and insight...to give hope and strength... but more likely than not...your acceptance of INACTION makes me insane... which really is irrelevant...because it really doesnt matter where my breaking point lies...it's where yours is... BUT your repeated refusal of plan B drives me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd still prefer not 2 go 2 plan B, because I feel so "good about myself" these days that, if I had 2, my PBL would be VERY short and 2 the point, like "So long and thanks for all the fish!!" One other possible PBL I might write would be: "bye." just to be really really creepy... and God knows I admire you for your MIND!!!! if nothing else.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> how much of this is that you don't ratmeat to win??? especially since you know that she claims her no contact is 'all your fault... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> gag puke AND currently being followed...but not necessarily happily embraced by her...which is crappola any ways...and just her using something to hurt you back with... she's in no contact because somehow it serves HER....even if it SERVES HER to HURT you.... 2long there are very few WS that I find value in villifying...but your wife...gets me going... being a red-headed Scottish Irish lass who likes a good cold stout one here and there....she really gets me going....(swear I'll post a picture some day.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) Her blatant adult disrespect is shameful... I honestly mean that... shame on her...for dragging others along ... OH crap.... now I feel worse.... praying praying praying for justlearnings sense of clarity and calm..... I am blabbering now... ARK
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Ah, Grasshopper (Pep), one needs to think several steps ahead.
OF COURSE 2long stopping drinking may increase the chances that his wife may "pull out" from her rectal cranium inversion.
This assumes you have a very fine definition of "increase", i.e., ANY discernable change in a desirable direction.
But that's not the point.
It won't have an effect.
After this is demonstarted - THEN he's free to indulge at the acceptable level he's used to!
WAT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
It won't have an effect.
After this is demonstarted - THEN he's free to indulge at the acceptable level he's used to!
Poop.... you're probably right....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
But this doesn't mean he shouldn't try! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
WAT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
I'll drink 2...
Well, maybe not 2day.
I'm going 2 go on ahead and go see that movie now.
-ol' 2long
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong> But this doesn't mean he shouldn't try! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
WAT </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm going to change it to see if anyone notices......
<small>[ July 19, 2004, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
I like your idea of the Poll WAT!
And another poll asking what would make 2longs wife change?
a PBL would
and it should read like this:
Dear Wife -
I will not give up beer, however I will give up you if you don't agree to permanent NC with OM and start acting like a normal human being.
Your loving (albeit somewhat close to 3 sheets in the wind, thanks to your 13 year affair) husband.
Would that be a LB? good!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
go to the movie already... 2long... I am enjoying pep and wats discourse... who asked you anyways...??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> (this could be the ONE>.. the post that gets misinterperted and I get kicked out.... is this the ONE?? ark
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
arkie get kicked out?
Naaaaaaa.
Never happen.
Yo ark**, ready for Tangier? Or was it Smith?
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
153
guests, and
51
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,494
Members71,967
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
