Binder -

Hang in there. It ain't over, til its over.

And keep up the fishing with your son, and later your daughter. I took my boys fishing from the time they were very young. I raised them alone, and am not into sports, so this is something we could share. Now they are both avid fishermen.

This weekend we went fishing twice, for 4 hours each time. We live by the ocean, and caught some sand bass, croakers, a needle fish (about 3 feet long and 2 inches in diameter, with a beak that bites), and some sand sharks.

We met a Canadian couple who fish. They were amazed that there were sharks in with all the swimmers. They told me about fishing for Northern Pike, Walleyes, and catfish.

They said that there are huge catfish up there, and they have catfish derbies, but do not eat them. Here we have catfish, and we do eat them!

Thanks for the support SS. I already feel less angst without the contact and over-analyzing our exchanges. I will take the time to get some perspective and some sense of equilibrium in my life. I also, thanks largely to my MIL, have become more conscious of God and my relationship with him. I plan on taking that further and traveling that road with my children.

Believer, that couple was likely from Manitoba. I lived there for 3 years. The Red river has monster (30 lbs. +) cats and people come from considerable distance to catch them. The province has about a million people for its entire size of 251,000 square miles. Most folks live in Winnipeg which is about 100 miles from the North Dakota border. Once you get an hour north of Winnipeg, there is virtually no one right up to the Arctic Ocean. There are thousands of lakes and rivers teaming with fish. You’d like it.

I plan on getting my very active and curious children involved in the outdoors. Far fewer meth dealers in the woods. They will need the structure and distraction from our mess to keep them on the straight and narrow. I’m trying to be a good dad, but still have a lot to learn. I get them exclusively for the month of August and am busy planning activities for them. I get the month off for vacation, but will likely need to go back to work to get some rest.

WW stopped by today to drop off our son for a few hours so I could see him on his birthday too. She played by the rules. Took him to the door, would not look me in the eye, said “drop him off at 4:30” would not approach my house to kiss him good-by and walked away. Seemed angry. I’m ok with this.

Binder - You left out the most important part - why don't they eat the catfish???????

Ya know.....I can't give you a logical reason for that. Cuz they're real real ugly?

I think it comes down to a bit of a sub cultural thing. Why don't we eat horses or dogs? Cuz no one does here.

When I was growing up people would catch freshwater ling cod in the local lakes. Ugliest fish ever: Freshwater ling cod They were condemned for their appearance. People would leave them to freeze on the ice and go to waste.

I've since had the pleasure of eating one. Two large fillets from their tail can be obtained and are incredible deep fried. Or I've heard of people boiling the chunks in salt water and making poor man's lobster. Apparently it's a good imitation dipped in garlic butter.

Maybe the Manitobans just are spoiled with the plethora of walleye and yellow perch to eat. Both some of the best table fare our Canadian species have to offer. They might come around in time as I did with our ling cod.

Binder -

Thanks for the explanation. I know in the south (of the US), they eat lots of catfish. And here in California, we do too. They are very tasty.

So it just surprised me that these folks said that they had huge ones up there, but did not eat them.

Hang in there. I know it is hard right now, but you can do this. You are a great father, good looking, you will get beyond this hurt.

Binder,

Just to let you know ... I lurked here ...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You will be fine ...

-rh-

Thanks for the visit Redhat.

I'm in the "wait and see" mode right now.

I've been wondering. Let's say my WW decides to return. I know a NC letter is a must, but what else. I will not tolerate her continued employment at her present workplace. This is where she met OM and she travels out of town frequently. BTW she is easily employable in her field elsewhere.

What about friends? She has a few that seemed to welcome this decision and embrace her new lifestyle. I don't want to isolate her, but I cannot see keeping those friends post A. In her mind she may feel they were the truest of friends by supporting her unconditionally.

So how does one set and implement the boundaries if she does return? Won't the new parameters scare her away? How do you approach that? Is it a condition before she even gets in the door, or do you bring it up after she starts to feel at home again?

If she should want to come home again, an NC letter is essential. Also she must quit her job. But I would wait on the friends. You can't expect her to give up her friends too, even though you are not happy with them right now.

Try to stay busy, and do some fun things, and take care of Binder.