2Long- You are right on. Thanks. What had me so mad yesterday was my friend telling me things that she said to his ex girlfriend. This is after she seemed like she was coming around a little over the weekend. He said not to plan on it working out and there were a couple things that she said that he wouldn't even tell me. It just makes me mad that she even acted like she cared a little when she doesn't. When she said those things over the weekend I was emotionally pulled back in. So I felt lied to and called her saying you need to get your stuff out of the house etc. I don't know how I can plan A now that I said that I won't talk to her while she is still living with him. I suck at this stuff! I want to do it by the book but my emotions screw me up everytime. I had the 180 degree plan going perfectly and it was working well, but then I became all emotional after she opened up to me and blew it again. Damn

I am thinking about having my friend help her move the rest of her stuff out on Tuesday instead of me. That way I will not have to see her and get upset again. Thinking of not telling her and just not being there when she comes.

Juke, do what you have to do to protect your heart. I think you should try to be there if you can. I was there when the sparrow took the last of her essentials from the house. It was incredibly painful, but I sucked it up and stayed cool and pleasant in her presence. I didn't put my hands over my face and bury my head in the couch until she was gone. While she was there I hugged myself and doubled over a few times while she was out of sight. My guts were a pretzel.

I think you've had a hard time following the advice to take WW's words with a grain of salt. I know that my WW's friends and family have pulled away from me because of what she's said to them. I can imagine, and it hurts me terribly knowing some of what has probably been said.

And just last night my mother said, "But she said even if things don't work out with OM she probably won't come back to you." Many people supporting me are worried that I'm in some unhealthy state of obsessive denial. I have to constantly remind them that I know where things stand and that I'm just doing my best to fight for my M, not fooling myself about the likelihood of my M ending.

If it's too hard for you to do that, then you might have a tough time being in plan A. It is grueling. It's like being fed mouthfuls of sh*t, swallowing, and opening up wide for more every time.

H4F told me this a while back:

"Don't listen to the masses that say 'I think she's really going to do it, you need to let her go etc...'. They are the same people who will be shocked when you're back together and praise you for holding on as long as you did. People often take things at face value - there is so much more to all of this than they understand."

You have to believe this to be able to endure plan A, my man.

GC

"It's like being fed mouthfuls of sh*t, swallowing, and opening up wide for more every time."

Well, GC you got a good laugh out of me on that one! Too funny. The main screw up was crying like a schoolgirl every time we talked about the R. Made me feel like a pathetic man. Like she would look at me and think, How could I be with this cry baby? I can't help it. It is so painful. But I wish I would have not called her yesterday out of anger. He hasn't been mean to me at all for weeks and now she hung up on me yesterday. She is staying with her man-hating aunt this weekend who will support her decision to move there and forget working on the marriage. On top of that, thanks to me the last time we talked was negative. Should I call her to apologise today before she leaves or just keep quiet?