Well that's three days of crap. Added another one today.

WW chatting online to her lover. Told her I didn't like it in our bedroom. Kept coming in to remind her I didn't like it.

And of course, I watched "Rescue Me" a new fire fighter show. Wouldn't you know it had a fireman with a cheating wife who wants to move the kids across the country. Go figure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

So she finally stopped, went to the driveway and used the phone. It's bad enough on my duty days she spends all night having cyber and phone sex with this guy. I thought she was better than that. She's like some crack whore.

One good note. This was the first day she hasn't told me to move out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> But that will end soon.

I did tell her to go be with her OM. I meant it. I wish she'd go to be with him. I suspect he only wants her to visit though. I'm thinking more of a one-way ticket.

Just venting here before I lose my cool with her.

<small>[ July 22, 2004, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom

Your post really touched a nerve in me... she is being so cruel by violating your home over and over and over. She really needs to go.

You should not move out! Have you considered Plan B yet? Blatant dangle-in-your-face b*ithces deserve to be booted out on their arses.

This angers me since it reminds me of my Fogman who had OW at MY HOUSE within hours of me and kids leaving to visit family (with our adorable brand new baby). My boss called me to tell me she saw her getting out of our hot tub naked. He was upset that my BOSS got me so wound up, when I confronted him. OMG, Fogman was in rare form that day.

I'll be sending up prayers for you Tom.

Tom, I can't believe how far gone she is. I'm really sorry, man. I'll bet you dread coming home after a shift.

Maybe it will be a great relief when she's gone. Imagine the peace that will return to your house.

And you're a fireman for pete's sake! You're going to be fighting women off. I know you're thinking about it. You're much worse off than I am, and I'm thinking about it.

GC

hmmmm. I am just wondering what would cause her to stop? She knows she can do whatever she wants to you and you won't do anything about it. That is a WS' dream.

I would also add that women don't respect men they can run over. Its disgusting to them and is a serious lovebuster. Personally, if my spouse had the obscene gall to chat with his honey in my own home, I would remove the phone and then I would visit the attorney and remove the spouse.

Her behavior is profoundly destructive and I am aghast that you are tolerating this. I am sure she is too! Please tell me you don't have children who are watching this abortion?

Cruel. I'm past that.

It is frankly disgusting. I thought she was better than this.

She has done it in front of me. Even in front of the kids. Chatting and Phone. My son came to me asked me if the man's name was **** because he saw mom chatting with him, before she hurried him away.

She talks to OM on the phone when the kids are there. If they ask to say hi to aunti ______, she says no. Unless, of course they are really on the phone. Otherwise she says not right now very angrily. But the kids aren't stupid. They know.

MelodyLane, you make a good point, and it's come up before in this situation. I don't see TJ can get rid of her. She doesn't even have the decency to cooperate with getting kicked out of the house.

Tom, when's the last time you tried to boot her and send her to the condo?

GC

No Mel. Well I mean we do have kids. I'm trying to let them know this is not ok.

Mel, When she's on the puter and I know she's chatting I frequently come in to interrupt. Tell her it isn't ok.

Could I throw her out? No, she wouldn't go voluntarily anyway. But she is still my childrens mom, even if it is a neglectful one.

She has done it in front of me. Even in front of the kids. Chatting and Phone. My son came to me asked me if the man's name was **** because he saw mom chatting with him, before she hurried him away.

Frankly, this is why I am not concerned about you love busting her... she is cruel and a menace in the home.

Not much you could do that would make me think you were LBing this woman.

Right now, she is a runawaytrain....

Pep

Tom, but she is a DESTRUCTIVE influence on your children and your family as she is. She is flaunting her affair and showing her contempt of you and her kids right to your faces. Why can't she be legally removed?

She may be their mother but that should not give her license to live there and destroy your family.

What about taking her cell phone? [or at the very least, blasting her with noise when she is on it] What about removing some parts from the computer so it is inoperable?

GC <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

She is so messed up. She is obsessed with Stevevivalasvegas. Like a crack whore.

She was just here on the porch. Said that it wasn't about money or the OM. But since I didn't move out already she is going to get every bit of money she can. Ohhhhh, surprise. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

The pure evilness. She mocks the changes I've made now. I tell her that for me the changes I've made don't include tolerating her infidelity. Or saying it is ok to spread her legs for a homewrecker from 1000 miles away.

I do sincerly wish she would seek him out and live with him. Fat chance though, he wouldn't have her. She's a nice girl to date (lol) but not marriage material.

<small>[ July 22, 2004, 09:03 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

It is a lovebuster to sit by and allow this intolerable behavior. Women don't respect men they can walk all over.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 11:13 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Mel, unless she is physically bringing the OM around I cant do force her out.

Phone is in her name... can't cancel it.

She still denies the PA.

Just did some LBing on the porch. Talked extensively about her and OM and her behaivor.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 11:15 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom, I don't mean cancelling the phone, I mean CONFISCATING it. Remove the phone from her, turn it off and keep it.

I wouldn't be too worried about lovebusters in this situation, Tom, I would concern myself with STOPPING her destructive behavior.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tom Joad:
<strong>

Just did some LBing on the porch. Talked extensively about her and OM and her behaivor. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What did you say?

Mel and Pep,

That's why I said it has been a crappy three days. Can't be a doormat anymore with her phone sex and cyber sex.

The DV is coming, not trying to avert it at all. Not going to let her be comfortable chatting or talking with OM anymore. She asked me when I was going to bed... so she could call OM I'm sure. She acted like she was concerned I had to work tommorrow. As long as the bills get paid she could care less how I felt when I worked.

Where is the woman I married? Maybe I never really knew her.

Mel talked about her behavior, talked about OM's motivation and her's.

Talked about the DV in a vague way. And told her I want her to seek out her happiness with OM. She still denies it is about him. And probably some of it is not, but wanting to be divorced directly coincided with her contact with him. He didn't make her do anything and neither did I.

I am on the brink of name calling and DJ's so I'll stop there.

GC...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And you're a fireman for pete's sake! You're going to be fighting women off. I know you're thinking about it. You're much worse off than I am, and I'm thinking about it.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have given some cursory thoughts to it. I'm not a bachelor type. Family all the way. I want a partner to share my life with. And surprisingly, the waters have been very welcoming. I haven't been looking, but offers have come my way after hearing of my pending DV. Not offers I could consider ... I mean women after men going through a DV? That would make me just like Steve the homewrecker.

No I pretty confident I'll make my way now. It won't be easy with the baggage I have now. But I'm trying to let this fiasco make me a better person. 15 years, heck... 23 years wasted.

No that's to harsh. I've had alot of good years in there and two great kids. I might sound like I'm bragging, but these kids are full throttle good stock. I've been so proud of them the last few months.

Oh, and my wife thought is was comical that people Identified her with "Cheffy" from the Internet Boyfriends thread. I doubt she even read the thing. She didn't even think it applied. But many of those things she actually said to me.

But I guess that is what alot of WW say, according to the books I've read and reading here. They all say the same things, do the same things. Well some are less cold. I think WAT observed best when he said they are all programmed with those sayings on the mothership.

<small>[ July 22, 2004, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom-

You know I follow your threads. I feel so bad for you…

You are strong and I admire you deeply.

If you ever need anything, let me know.

Someone anonymous to have beer with.

Someone to not drink with but drive you home.

Someone to take any frustrations out on.

I take a good punch! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You won’t ask, but maybe it will make you feel a little better to know you can, anytime.

I’m not sure how you do it. Our sits are different but, in ways, similar.

I’m sorry you’re going through this...

robby

Robby, Thanks. Might just take you up on that. We could get a couple of spicy Punch torpedoes, and a tall glass of Newcastle. Commiserate our situations, maybe do a little, or alot, of skirt watching. "I love short skirts, and long jackets" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Good luck in your current delemma. I'd try to be indifferent but tell her she's welcome back anytime.

"Skirt watching"???? That sounds strangely, well, male chauvenist!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Boys...jeesh...they can hardly help themselves. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tom, you are a good man. "Good stock," too (using your own words).

Time for Plan B. Tell her she needs to go. Go do whatever she needs to do, fogbound and crazy, by herself, not in your house.

I agree with Melody. Take that phone. Answer it when people call. It is your phone now. Disconnect the computer. Call block his number from your home phone.

Go be the priest of your home.

Look, I am a progressive, new millenium woman, however, I also believe in the role a man plays in the home.

You need to step up, and reclaim some control.

You are a fireman, bad-@ss, control taker by day...time to put out some "fires" at home! Step up and reclaim your home. Set the tone for what will be acceptable there and what will not, and then, sternly and calmly enforce it.

It is not about LBs, it is about setting BOUNDARIES.

And you will be fine. If your M ends, if you are back out there in the "market," there will be plenty of "short skirts" out there ready to nurture you and your children.

For now, it is time to preserve the type of Godly home environment that is right for you and your kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />