Oh oh. I'm shaking. Courier just dropped it off. I knew it when he pulled up.

GC

Hang in there GC.

It ain't over till it's over.

Drag it out if u can. Time is on your side.

Know the feeling GC.

Stay the course.

I promise that even IF it comes to pass, you will emerge a better man with a clear conscience.

The clear conscience is priceless.

Do not do anything to jeopardize this.

WAT

Praying for you, wish I could do more.

SS

gc:

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

BUT...

...take this as a "blessing in desguise" (sounds funny coming from me, doesn't it?)

♥ You have an appointment with JHC (and I don't mean the man upstairs, as you know).

♥ You got the papers 2day.

2rn this in2 an oppor2nity. I bet Jennifer will know EXACTLY what you should do next. AND, she'll know how 2 2rn your "shaking" in2 resolve and compassion. A good solid plan A.

Definitely stall as long as you can. Your W will someday respect your stand for your M.

best,
-ol' 2long

Oh Grey,

My heart cries out for you. I know you weren't expecting this. I'm doing what still seeking is doing and also wishing I could do more.


Weaver

Thank you all so much. I'm having a hard go here.

This is her way of doing it all in the right order., her response to my telling her I didn't know when I would be ready.

Three days before our 10th anniversary.

GC

What should I do if she calls or comes to the house?

Good god. JH is calling in a few minutes. Gotta get myself together.

GC

And you will, gc.

I BELIEVE

GRAY....listen to me buddy I've been down this road friend. My wife served me with papers and I served her with papers and look what happened?
No divorce and back together. We have hit a rough patch because I hadn't found this site a year and a half ago after our separation. You have the benefit of not just acting on instinct.

Getting served papers is not the end of your marriage. I had my best friend hand deliver my DV papers to my wife and witness her signature! Now we working on our marriage all over again, but this time with some steps from outside sources. Hang in there, I'm a prime example of it aint EVER over. I know it hurts, man it hurt me big time, but to be completely honest, back then I wasn't a very good husbnad. The FamilyMatters that posts her was a different person 4 years ago. The time apart separated gave me a chance to see work on me, but I'm not suggesting you guys should divorce or be apart for 2 years. I just want to point out that there's still hope, what worked for me was the usual I tried everything I could think of and then when I got tired of trying I started working on myself, before I knew it she came a knocking...the key to it is not to be waiting for her to come a knocking.

When my wife sent me those papers I was destroyed, and when I counter sued she was also floored. I repeat Gray, it's not over.

Pull yourself together for JH. Then go have a drink (or go to a movie -- a violent one) with a friend. We're with you.

Hang in there GC.
Wish I had something helpful to say.

GC, I am so sorry. I was so worried how I would react when I got served. WW pumped me for a week about getting served. Finally I filed myself, it was very hard signing those papers to end this part of my life.

Get together with some friends soon.

TJ

Getting the papers was like a dream. I just sat there with the papers in my hand and trembled.

JH spoke to me for an hour. She helped me out, gave me some ideas and gave me some hope.

Sparrow is displaying her loyalty to OM with everything she's got. Soon she'll start making demands on him.

GC

Hey GC- I am sorry to hear that, but it is just paper right now and even if D goes thru many get re-married. Don't trip out on it. She is trucking along a highway filled with fog and she can't see the road yet. You are obviously a good man and loving husband so she will either see that in time, or if not it's her loss. Hang in there. you have been doing so good. Don't let the legal crap take u off course.

GC, I am pretty new here too, but remember all the responses you got from your own topic,
about the sucess'.

My crystal ball is at the shop, but what I keep telling myself is that the bigger the hurt, the bigger the chance to learn, and learn ALOT.

I do not know what my M will be like when (and if; is there anything worse than the unknown <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> ?) the OC comes into my life, but I refuse to accept anything less then an improvement in my life. Either married with three kids in a great marriage or as a happy single dad of two.

Be true to yourself, keep feeling compassion, know that you have support and no matter what happens, do NOT accept anything less than a better life for yourself.

Keep whatever faith you have, and good luck.

I think Jennifer is right on the number there.

Dude, we're with ya. Hang in there.

dewt

Thinking of you Gray...

So sorry about the papers, but it's far from over. Fight it, delay it, stand your ground.

GC,

I know looking at my current situation doesn't give people much hope, but wanted to say this:

Twelve years ago my WH was having his first A. Granted, it was him, not me who was stepping away from the M. But I had no MB back then to guide me and after 18 months I'd had enough. I was at a point where I thought I hated him.

I filed. I was serious! He tried to convince me otherwise. But I was determined. I stuck to my guns for months. Then at the last minute, I decided to have it delayed by 3 months to see if he had changed his ways, then another 3 months.

Finally, 6 months and two delays after our D should have been final (and nearly a year after I originally filed), I called it off.

You're not D yet. Don't count it final until it is.

LL

It feels over. I have dismissed things as fog, and tried to explain this to friends. But my hope could not be more shaken. I'm so alone. I left for a while to see a friend. I just got home - not a message on my machine, not an email to be seen. At least OMW has her child to love. My love has nowhere to find purchase. It just flies around like a balloon that's been blown up and let go, emptying out and sputtering.

Blech. I'm sick of feeling like this. Thanks for humoring my pityfest. I still love her, and I will continue as I have, but my gut tells me she will not turn back. As long as she stays away from me and stays away from our home, she can do it.

GC