Tom, this board is anonymous. Your WW has nothing to gripe about. I'm sure you know that.

Sparrow is carousing with a confused little boy who isn't ready to make babies but is making them anyway. It's so low class.

I shouldn't attack her so much. I know she doesn't want all this pain. She thinks it has to be because she's so in love. She doesn't see that she's just like all the others on the Springer show - people following feelings and not using their brains.

GC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tom Joad:
<strong> WW told me this morning again, that she doesn't like me talking on here about us. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Did you tell her "so what?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Yes Mel, I did.

She likes to make fun of the "TOM JOAD" name. But she doesn't even know who he was.

She told our DD to remind her to show her some of the "mean" things I've said about her.

That's just lovely of your wife...nothing like dragging the kids into your fog crap to make sure that what she's doing has a lasting effect...
I don't know if it helps at all TJ, but when I was deep in the A, my H could do nothing right ... it was all about justifying what i was doing...justifying it myself by seeing something bad in every thing he did..
just wanted you to know it's not about you...it's her and her choices that she is trying to live with causing her to lash out at you...
I have a feeling that once you do move on with your life and your love for her has been totally depleted, she will find that what she was missing was right in her own back yard...

peace to you..

Dreamcatcher,

First off, I like your signature line. And I believe it too.

Second, I've played a role in the detrioration of our M. No doubt about it. Alot of it from ignorance. But I'm trying to change the 50% I'm responsible for. Even if it is just to improve me. WW is 100% responsible (or irresponsible) for her affair with a stranger on the internet.

Dreamcatcher, could you read my letter for sparrow's grandmother (the latest version on my post) and tell me how you might react as a WS if granny showed it to you? I don't expect her to or even want her to, but I think it's possible she might.

Thanks.

Tom, you got it. It is really awful that your WW is trying to make your children see you negatively. How is that good for them? She wants her own children to take a side? Good heavens to Betsy, that's bad parenting, yo.

GC

GC, it doesn't really bother me. She can show DD anything I've written on here. DD knows I care more about the family than myself.

I always tell them not to make their MOM mad. Always tell them to pray for us. And always tell them to listen to her. But they aren't stupid or blind. They can see her charade.

There is a family game we played fairly regular for awhile. It was fun, laughed so hard sometimes we had tears in our eyes. DD asked if we could play it again. WW says nope, she hates that game and always has. The kids aren't stupid - they can either see WW was lying to them in the past or lying to them now. Bottom line... can they trust what MOM says.

DD was upset today that WW didn't go to church. She jumped on the phone to OM as soon as the garage door went down. Pathetic. The kids are upset, WW answers them by telling them to "shutup". Warns them there will be punishment. Of course she did the same to me for years. If I didn't think, or feel, the way she wanted me too I would get the "punishment".

Like I said. I have a lot of fault here too. But I'm changing it everyday. Reinforcing my better self every day. Feeling better about myself everyday. WW on other hand is embracing the worst parts of herself.

Tom -

I wonder if your wife could be depressed? Sometimes depression comes out as anger. Does she get pleasure out of any kind of daily activities? (Besides talking to OM?)

Being a SAHM is not always an easy job. It can get lonely, plus in our society many folks don't respect women that stay home as much as women who have a career.

Believer,

No she doesn't do anything but talk to OM. Even before DDay I often tried to get her to do things but she always had an excuse to stay home.

I also believe SAHM is a real job. When people would ask me if my wife worked I always said yes. When they asked what she did I told them she is a homemaker. I believe it is a job. That is why it was important to me and her to have someone home to take care of the kids. Unfortunately mostly is was a title to her, not a job.

I also perferred the title "homemaker" rather than Housewife. A "homemaker" connotates (sp) making a home for a family. I never belittled her for being a SAHM. In fact I thought it was something we were both proud of. Even if I had to work 3 jobs and drive a beater truck, I thought it was worth it.