double post ooooopppppps

<small>[ August 02, 2004, 12:15 PM: Message edited by: daybreak ]</small>

oooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppps
finger problems!

<small>[ August 02, 2004, 12:20 PM: Message edited by: daybreak ]</small>

Terri,
If you don't like your signature line, change it.

I'd be depressed as hell if I had to see our separation/affair stats every time I posted.

My younger daughter took my car, drove 6 hours with 2 friends to go to a 2 week camp...your daughter will make many memories that don't include you through her life. It's ok. It's the way life works.

I know your H hasn't been any good at one on one time with her, but it's something I've seen recommended in parenting materials. If your marriage was intact, this is something that could have occured anyway.

I'm sorry you're having a bad time, but maybe it is time to check if there are positives?

-D is having fun
-H is having to take some responsibility (even if he wasn't properly provisioned, he "arranged" that through you)
-Your house is clean

Ok, not a long list.

Take care, Terri, this too shall pass.

terr..

how are you??

thinking about you..

ark

Terrified - Also wondering how you are doing???

Hello,

I'm sorry I didn't post back to your replies sooner...I thank-you sincerely for your concern.

My D is BACK...and H did fine (gulp).

I can honestly say I was pretty lifeless and all of you were perceptive enough to denote it.

I'd love to "get a life" outside of D but I've always honestly believed that a child needs its mother...fathers are definitely IMPORTANT...don't get me wrong... but just not the same. And it pained me to know that she was without her mom while all other kids had their moms around...

In any case, it is something I have to accept will be my life. It's just not easy to be without her at home. She lives with me and she adds so much joy to an otherwise...joyless existence.

And one more thing...H came home with her...unpacked and hooked up his digital camera without me knowing and showed me all the pictures...they were all so beautiful. Both D and H are so photogenic and the other children...most of whom I've never met...looked sweet. D looked like she was enjoying every minute.

I didn't take away any of it from either one of them. It was difficult to watch his production without feeling hurt inside but D was happy I watched it, I think. I never did show him my Disney album because I didn't want him to feel excluded...

I think she's changed a little...not that she was talking about her experience. She hugged me for a long time and wanted to reassociate herself with everything at home but...I think she's much closer to her Dad and apparently he did a wonderful job of caring for her.

He's a very grandiose individual...always thinking of amazing things to do...he bought a small surfboard, brought up a tent, her wagon...bought frames so that they could paint them and create a beach memory...

I have to run back to a meeting and have to stop here but I'm better that D is home...but sad inside.

H said that I have made this all about my suffering without her instead of focusing on D. I don't think that's true. I never once mentioned to D that I was suffering...I made sure that I was happy when I spoke to her. I've urged to tell me the details...the only thing I said to her about me was that I missed her at home.

Yes, everyone else knows I suffered. But isn't that normal?

Thank you SO much...I will reply back later today.

<small>[ August 04, 2004, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: Terrified ]</small>

Terrified - I am glad that your daughter is back - I am sure the picture show was a bit much but you sound like you handled it well - and as for the line about your sad existance - well my friend - only you have the power to change that...You only live once - and I am thinking that going through life as the victim isn't the best idea.... Time to change....

Hey Maw, Thanks...hm...I really don't think of myself as a victim...but I guess my choices portray me as such?? Ooh...hate that!

Quite honestly, I did make a decision to enjoy D more fully...I shouldn't complicate every situation with my own thoughts of deficiency...I just have to push my thoughts aside and force myself to be happy with her on the inside too.

I think H enjoys being a single parent and doesn't mind at all the responsibilities on his own...of course, he made the choice. I, on the other hand, although I LOVE being a mother may sometimes look at the dark side of a situation as it relates to his leaving us...

So I guess I do have to change my thinking real fast...well, I'm going to TRY to feel LESS joyless, OK?

Thanks again for your reply.

terr...

I think H enjoys being a single parent and doesn't mind at all the responsibilities on his own...

what's not to love??
He gets to play superdad...is he wearing tights yet...if I were you'd I'd check under his pants...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

He gets all these fun times...
he gets the family support to go pick up daughter and bring her here for icecream...
he gets to bring her home...tired and cranky and sugared out....

and then he gets to leave...

somedays that sounds like a tiny slice of heaven...
for a fleeting moment...

you get blamed when he brings her home cranky..
you get 365/24/7...
which I am not saying is bad...
but no doubt he enjoys his "time"...

what he doesnt' ever do..
is talk straight up truth to his own daughter.
never takes her to his apartment and tells her to sit there and be happy....
or amuse herself while he has to clean and write bills before he can take her somewhere fun...

no reality...
heck he gives her disney world every day...
and still has every friday off for soccer...with the guys....

terr all that you fear already exist in ...
you and he not being together..
him and you not living together..

yet you two never speak of it...
or figure out how to really do it...

I no longer even know what you are afraid...

you are so strong...and say you can't face this or that...yet you really have already faced it for years....

you mourn a loss....yet speak not of it...to him...

where is this going to go...
where is this going to end...

and I must be even more daft then everyone else..
cause I don't think you two are over...cause no one ever talks about how does one make it be "over"...

not you
not him
not the inlaws...

why don't you invite him out to dinner at a nice restaraunt and see if you two can talk like adults....

why don't you ask him when can daughter come see his home...

why terr...
why???

what's the worst...
what's the best

what's the plan....

H said that I have made this all about my suffering without her instead of focusing on D.


did you call him a jacka##
why not!!??
cause he is...a stubborn one

please do so very soon for me..

ark

no one kills your thread like me eh???

ark.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ark,

She is afraid of
doing something
anything.
She just sits
and waits for
something
anything
to happen.
That will take care of the problem that exist between her and her daughters father.

And the little girls just sits there and get more confused about her parents.

That is what is sad!

Again my 2 cents on the subject, take it or leave it, just make some change!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />