<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .. I'm sorry you were disappointed after all your plans FM. I am truly more sorry for your WW though...life is so very short..too short to lay around on the couch moaning and groaning...I do hope she comes around soon. How lucky she is to have a thoughtful, strong man like you love her. I have friends who would give their right arm if their H would do even a little of what you tried to do for your wife. I have a feeling that someday she may look back on what you did (or tried to do) for her and regret that she chose to be miserable.

You are so right (speaking as one who moaned and groaned on the couch for a bit myself) it is NOT about you...you should be proud of the way you handled yourself...

Peace..

FM: I really don't know what to say that *you* haven't said already. I hope and pray that both me and my W have the love, understanding, wisdom, grace, patience, compassion, eloquence, and spirit to resolve our issues. Your unconditional giving to this woman shows how real deep you honestly care just about the well being of your best friend. I admire you, friend. I can't even say, "keep it up"--you're right--you left that in God's hands--He does tell us just that--to leave our burdens with Him. The kind of trust and love you are showing--even just on this board--is just awe inspiring.

The AM static is really dominant now due to the fog and storms. Even England has it's sunny days, though!

God has blessed FM!

Only the best, my friend.

What a great idea and gesture. I am sorry your W did not partake.

However you summed it up very well. She will certainly notice the effort you went to and also the gracious way you handled her denial. Maybe she just doesn't feel worhty of your affectionright now.

Keep it up. I can't imagine such thoughtful loving actions not eventually sinking in
C&S

FM-

After reading your thread I found this quote and thought of you.

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The “sure thing” boat never gets far from shore. –Dale Carnegie

Good for you for your effort. Good luck to you in the future!

I went for a 4mile jog/walk just to clear my head and get the cobwebs out. I hate feeling helpless and out of control, but there really isn't much I can do except smile and remain positive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Geesh! I'll do my best to keep an upbeat attitude. I'm sure if I slip into feeling down she will only sink further into depression and continue to pummel herself. Being the OM MUST be more fun, he has the good times, the laughs, sees the other side of my W (a side she doesn't feel comfortable sharing with me) and I get to clean up the mess and deal with a withdrawn, unresponsive foghead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I've gotta laugh to keep from crying. She wants me to give up, but I WONT...I WANT to give up but I can't. She admires my commitment and feels guilty because of it. She's in pain and I feel more commited because of it.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> This is madness! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just curious...

How certain are you that your W is not using some drug or alcohol to self-medicate? Does she have prescription pain medicine?

Have you considered making an appointment with her physician (for yourslef) and explaining to the MD the home situation, your concerns for her welfare, and seek advice from the MD? The MD cannot share your W's medical situation with you, but you can certainly share your concerns with the MD. Especially if your wife is getting drugs from an MD to treat "pain".

Pep

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Pepperband:
How certain are you that your W is not using some drug or alcohol to self-medicate? Does she have prescription pain medicine?

I would say 95% sure she's not taking anything. She's not really a drinker, only drinks like a cooler or 2 when she does drink and I never smell alcohol. I haven't seen any prescriptions or medicines that would throw up a red flag, but I cannot be 100% sure, hence the 95%.

Have you considered making an appointment with her physician (for yourslef) and explaining to the MD the home situation, your concerns for her welfare, and seek advice from the MD? The MD cannot share your W's medical situation with you, but you can certainly share your concerns with the MD. Especially if your wife is getting drugs from an MD to treat "pain".

My W did have an appointment and has been referred to a therapist. She went and due to the crowd to see the therapist she left. I'm not sure if she plans on following up or not. I will ask her about going. I think the therapist is available Mon, Wed. Your right Pepper I think she needs help, more than I can give her...and for that matter I might need some help as well.

Thanks

To FM,

I am sorry that things did not work out exactly as planned, but she did see all your efforts and that will have a lasting impression. WS notice everything.

More importantly, thank you for the gift of reasurance to BS--it is easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself, but it isn't about that at all. You are strong and confident to be able to step outside your pain to give reassurance to all of us in this predicament. Thank you for that precious gift.

Yesterday was WH's birthday. He spent day with OW although he lied about it. He joined me for coffee at the end of the day. I gave him his birthday gifts and I also gave him a letter that I wrote. Two and half months ago, the OW falsely charged him with battery when he tried to talk with her. He was angry at the world and gave up trying to clear the charge. For ten weeks solid, I have worked with an attorney to chase down the charge and clear his name which I did. I gave freely with no expectation. I guess that is the Giver in all of us BS's.

Anyway, FM, you did good. I have faith in the process and faith in you. Let's hang in there and hope for a better week. God bless you, FamilyMatters.

<small>[ August 03, 2004, 05:07 PM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>