bmp

<small>[ August 04, 2004, 09:14 PM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>

Should I let her family know why I'm going to avoid her for a while?

<small>[ August 04, 2004, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>

Everyone says 'move on' to me. No one tells WW how damaging her behavior is to kids. Neither will she give me full custody.

I just foynd out today I'll need a second job in order to keep the house. I feel like this thing just keeps on screwing me. I need to get out of this emotional maelstrom.

dl,
Been following your posts for awhile. I used to be where you are at right now and I am truly sorry.
I am divorced and so are you. You're divorced. Did you hear that? You are divorced!
I know how unfair it is when the one you love the most betray's you and your trust.
It's been said so many times here, you cannot control another person. It is so true.
Your desire to regain your WW is quite admirable and it's good that you've realized your part in this mess. But please take a break and look at what you are doing to YOURSELF.
You are a part of this equation and you do matter.Your WW has made her decision and there's nothing you can do to change her. Life goes on man.
Live for your kids and your mutual happiness.

Quit torturing yourself.

BTW, that letter, if you send it will probably get read by the OM. If she's still involved.

I sent a letter like that to my ex when she was with OM and they had a great laugh at my expense. It hurt like hell. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
You don't need that.

Hi dlc,

I agree with the other's that say don't send the letter.It is still too wordy but you are divorced now.All the plans here at MB basically are over.It's time to ACCEPT what has happened and take care of yourself.You can move on,when you are feeling up to it but there's nothing wrong with being still in the moment now,dealing with what you have been through and figuring out the steps to take to heal yourself and your kids.

About the house.I don't know how you feel about it,I adore my home,but if you do not have your kids but 50% of the time,you are not emotionally connected to it in any way and it's bigger than what you might need,etc,do think about selling it so you don't have to work twice as hard for it now that the family has been broken. Just a thought.You could downsize if you feel that it might be better for you in the long run.No one should have to work and extra job just to keep a house that no longer suits the needs of the family.

Also,you could just let your IN-laws know that you are goping to take care of yourself but you would welcome their calls of support(if they have any to give,I don't remember what your relationship is like with them).

Anyway,just letting you know we're here for you.More prayers on the way.


O

JustLearning wrote:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are a part of this equation and you do matter.Your WW has made her decision and there's nothing you can do to change her. Life goes on man.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Octobergirl wrote:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree with the other's that say don't send the letter.It is still too wordy but you are divorced now.All the plans here at MB basically are over.It's time to ACCEPT what has happened and take care of yourself. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sprezzatura wrote:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">do you have ANY spiritual life? a place to sit and relax- calm your mind- slow your racing pulse and just ZONE? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">First thank you for your input and prayers. i am taking it ALL in, regardless of how I may reply. I am just questioning so much right now.

I do have a spiritual life. I also, however, have a difficult time slowing down. My fear sometimes overwhelms me. I've been dealing with this for a year. Bad, better, bad, worse, incomprehensible...I want to have faith that things CAN be reconciled (my religious upbringing) but the overwhelming consensus is 'IT'S OVER! MOVE ON'. Am I being reasonable by accepting this or faithless? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

The OM pined and waited for six months for WW to return. WW plotted and prayed for the same. Why is it futility when we BS prayerfully and faithfully work/wait for our WS's to return? This challenges my basic beliefs about the nature of faith and the tenacity of love.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">