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How's everyone doing today? Things are better for me now that I've decided I don't want WH back. Now if I can just get the financial stuff over.
Tom - I saw you filed for the big D. Did that change your wife any?
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Hey Loyal Husbands! I just wanted to give you guys a big thumbs up for the courage that you have portrayed throughout all of this. I feel for each one of you & hope that now that my H & I are working on recovery, he will become one of those loyal H's too! I think we've both learned quite a lot from this experience & I know for sure that I won't take him for granted nor try to change him (I know, I know, the old females look to change men and men hope nothing will change) & he has learned that he has to talk to me in order for me to know what's going on inside that "big ole' head" of his!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I wish each of you the best & urge you to draw closer to God as He's the only one who'll be able to see you through this. God bless, Y
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Hi...im new to this string. not doing good today. WW says she wants a separation. She says she is not leaving without the kids (i think that this is for money reasons). Here is a link to my story http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=29;t=004581I am looking for input from the woman out there. anything will help
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I am doing better today than before.
Believer: Glad to hear you made a decision you can live with. Now let the healing begin!!!
I am not sure how long I can do it, but my current roller coaster is back to the "I can do plan A forever" Unfortunatly, my motives may be bad.
I figure, the more my WW hurts me and ignores the family (she was out till 4:40am last night and a little past midnight on Wednesday night - she has the kids all day today and yesterday) the better my chances are to get custody. Or, who knows, maybe she will come to love all of me and we will live happily ever after.
She is really confused. I talked to her today and I asked about last night. I asked if she had fun. She told me she was miserable all night.
When I asked why she stayed out if she was un-happy, she got huffy and said something like "Ron, I do not want..." so I cut her off and changed the subject. I wanted to say:
"YOU BIG DUMMY, IF YOU WERE UNHAPPY, WHY DIDN'T YOU COME HOME TO GET SOME SLEEP, NOW YOUR FRIDAY IS SHOT, THE KIDS ARE GOING TO SUFFER BECAUSE THERE MOM IS GONNA BE A HUNG OVER USELESS PILE OF GARBAGE TODAY, AND, SOMEHOW I AM GOING TO BE BLAMED FOR IT" I am so mad and sad and disapointed. Can you believe that is actually and improvement?
Well, I hope the next hour is a good one. And the one after that and the one after that....
To all: Thanks for the advice and your stories. You all have helped me out on a couple of threads, and I know I sometimes do not deserve it.
I look forward to being able to make a decision I can live with.
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Hello all,
Hey I'm one loyal son of a gun...
Wife still treats me badly. Tomorrow she's having a sex-date with her ex-BF (I'm not kidding)... Go figure that out...
But still I'm loyal and faithful to our marriage. I've had LOTS of opportunities to have an affair while she's moved out (yes, I can say about myself that I am one handsome fella...), but I did not.
But slowly my patience is fading... I don't like the person my wife has become, but I also cannot believe she has really changed into this monster. It must be some kind of temporary insanity... Or maybe I am the one who's insane for not getting out of this marriage? Sometimes I think I'm too good for this world...
Maybe it's time for plan B...
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canthishelp, I just noticed that we both have a set of twins! 3 years old, huh? I remember those days. Now mine are almost teenagers. Boy, that's another whole saga! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
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Believer, filed about a month ago. She was upset? Heard she even shed some tears?
I think she was more dissappointed that I filed before her, because she knew about it before she was even served. She had told me for several weeks that she had already filed and I would be getting served soon.
Today I found out she filed a petition with the courts to make me move out of the house and pay her temporary child support and alimony. The hearing is at the end of the month.
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DB, keep the faith of your M and I think if your being as open and honest as you seem to be, I would insist that protection is used for the 'date'. Hearing about my WW make-out session kinda stunk, but I THINK that is all it was. Man reading his love poems hurts, they are good.
Standing: How did the do w/potty training? My DD is done and my DS has no desire. Just curious. I so love them. There should be a pic on a thread somplace, I cannot find the pic thread though.
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Well guys - things are not good on this thread.
Juke is refinancing his house to pay off his wife.
Tom has received an order to vacate his home.
Bob is venting like crazy, and getting lots of criticism.
Graycloud is still camping.
FamilyMatters doesn't know if he is in recovery or not.
So let's all hang in here together. Not too much good news, but it has to get better.
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Believer, I'm going home in the morning. Camping was theraputic. Utah is like an elixir. But it was hard to sleep without chemical help.
This week - sparrow returns, my response to service is due, car4love has a preliminary hearing (settlng terms for spousal and child support during the divorce), I'm seeing my IC, and maybe, just maybe, the sparrow will come looking for her mail. I might tell her to get her things out of the garage. Her sublease is up at the end of August, and I suspect she's making OM's rental her permanent address. Just a hunch - OM is flat broke, and the sparrow hasn't had much time for apartment hunting. Hey, the sooner they shack up, the better. Nasty.
GC
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Bob is venting like crazy, and getting lots of criticism.
So let's all hang in here together. Not too much good news, but it has to get better.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey Believer, my sitiuation hasn't looked better for a while ! OM is reconciling his butt off 1000 miles away with his GF and son, after I exposed, my WW is still at home with us no doubt relalizing thru the fog that OM has used her as a bit of fun and all teh 'together' promises were cca. And so far I am plan a'in my slim new buns off.
Lifes worse than before the A of course but theres a teeny chink of sun through the clouds in my situation !
my rant was just a rant, honestly !
I am praying for the other folks....
You guys have got me here and I am so grateful {{{mb}}}
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Graycloud -
I think it is great to get away, and get some perspective on the situation. Hopefully Sparrow will get calmed down some.
I found out from my sis-in-law that my WH and OW are buying a little love nest together. Thankfully it's in another town, so I won't have to keep running into them.
Bob- It does sound like things are looking up for you. Now is the time to really stick to your program. Will she join you in any fun activities? Try to figure out something that she loves to do.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Try to figure out something that she loves to do. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well her recent idea of fun has involved getting nekkid at lucnhtime with a has-been sporting dwarf, not sure I can join in that one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Its the tourney tomorrow. heh heh. That will be a fun family day.
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Hope you can go and enjoy yourself. Sounds like you are a lot happier. Hopefully your wife will come out of withdrawal and join you.
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Hey you all,
Whether you believe in God or not, I just prayed for you all.
I'm at home right now bored to dead. It really sucks. We don't have kids (or pets) and WW took the car, so I'm pretty much stuck here (kind off).
I also don't have any friends in our town, and I don't really care for going to a bar all by myself.
Strange, when I was single I didn't mind staying home alone, but now it's really hurting. Especially (or maybe because of that) when you constantly realize that W is not coming home tonight (or tomorrow night... or the night after etc.)
Well, it's back to the TV-remote...
Hang in there guys, I'll pray for you again tonight (it's 7PM here in Holland).
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Dutchboy -
We have to get you feeling better. How long have you been married. How is your wife treating you- besides having an affair?
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Hey Believer, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer: <strong> How's everyone doing today? Things are better for me now that I've decided I don't want WH back. Now if I can just get the financial stuff over. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">At what point did you decide that you do not want WH back? I'm getting close to that point with my WW. I really hate this MONSTER she has become... All this pain she's putting me through. But then I think about my in-laws and all the other people that are our mutual friends/family. I really don't want to lose all that. I already know that if I divorce my wife, I'll never want to see and speak to her her again. But she's good friends with my brother and sister and I'm good friends with her sister and especially her mother. So birthdays will be only attended by me if she's not present... Hmm I think I'm rambling... Boredom is just driving me mad, sorry.
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Dutchboy -
I have been going thru this for 19 months. WH kept saying (and still says) that he wants to stay married. But OW is and always has been in the picture. So she can have him, and believe me, he is no prize.
I got tired of the man he has become. He used to be so honest and kind. Now he is just a scheming jerk.
Now where was I? Why are you so bored? You should be doing something you enjoy. It will help raise your self-esteem. I started exercising, cleaned the house spotless, rearrange everything, detailed the car, did the yard, started a new business, went out with friends, etc.
If you are unable to enjoy things, you might want to try some anti-D's.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Dutchboy -
We have to get you feeling better. How long have you been married. How is your wife treating you- besides having an affair? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey Believer,
Married 3 years to the woman of my dreams. We've been going steady for 4 years prior to getting married. She used to be so caring, loving etc. Everything I could possibly look for in the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my live with. The woman I wanted to be the mother of my children.
Besides the affair(s) she's treating me ok. She's not yelling at me, no verbal abuse etc if that's what you mean. It's the emotional abuse of her having affairs and moving out of the house and her being so confused (she does not know if she loves me enough to remain married, but is that an excuse to fool around?). I'm having a hard time going through this, I know we all are. I'm just sitting here in this empty house crying my heart out. I'm so grateful for this board and all you great people. Thanks you all.
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Does she give you any clues about what was wrong with the marriage?
Does she have "issues" from childhood?
Does she work?
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