Thank you so much betrayed!!!!! I do love him very much and deep down in my heart I know he loves me too. I will try hard to be strong and hang on.
I will come here first before I do anything. I have gotten great advice here and cherish all the support that has been given to me.
At times I feel so weak...and feel like I just can't go on....then a little glimpse of hope comes around and I feel strong again. I know this is all part of the rollercoaster ride I'm on.
If he needs time away then all I can do is give it to him I guess. He just sent me and instant message and when I responded he never wrote back. I know he's in a lot of pain and I wish I could help him. He says there is nothing I can do.
I will try so very hard not to believe anything he says right now and not to think with my emotions. This is definitely the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It's like he died!!!
Will I ever feel whole again?

tree
that was great advice from Miss NJ.

I asked the question, "Do you still love me? - I got "yes, I always will"

I asked, "Are you still in love with me?" - I got " I don't know"

I asked, "are you in love with her?". I got' "I don't know"

I really hate that "I love you, I care about you, I'm not in love with you" speach. Does every man in the world know and pratice that speach???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Hang tough TREE we are here for ya!!!

Thanks! I am trying to keep my chin up today. I'm going over to SIL house for dinner and am going to try my best to be as nice as possible. I really have to find a way to deal with all the pain. I will write when I get home to keep you posted on how things went and probably ask for more advice!! Thank you all so much. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have all of the support here. It's wonderful to know that people that I don't even know can care so much. It's heartwarming!!!!!!!!!

Have a wonderful dinner and keep as "normal" as possible.

We'll be praying and wishing you well.

b

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

TR,
Over on the recovery board there is a thread regarding the WS saying he's leaving and doesn't want the M anymore.

You should jump over there and check out the posts.

I know you'll find some comfort if you see how COMMON this is...and how much HOGWASH it turns into.

The thread is titled , Did WS ever talk about leaving and end up staying.

Hang in there.

p.s. stop responding to his email/instant messages. It gives him immediate comfort. He's not allowed to have that. He has to start reeping some of what he sows. Still Plan A when you DO see him, but don't let him think you're waiting there by the computer HOPING for contact.

I will go check out that thread! You're right...I should ignore all his instant messages and emails. I will try my best to do that!!!
I just got back from the grocery store with my son and sure enough pulling in behind me was my H. He was going to Blockbuster and head his neices with him. He turned and looked at me but I kept on walking and never saw him again. I feel good for doing that! I could have easily ran over there and said something. I didn't!!! Yeah me!!!!!

(((((Tree Reich)))))....remembering the "bottomless pit" you are experiencing right now. Yes, it CAN get better, but it's so hard to even accept the possibility when you are in the deepest, darkest, parts of the "valley of the shadow of death."

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How can I love someone who is hurting me so badly? Am I crazy? Am I just not "getting it?" </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." (Matt.26:38, NIV)

Many of us are "standing" and "watching" with you, even though we cannot be physically present with you.

"Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it's possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." ...He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." (Matt.26:39,42 NIV)

Thank God that we have a great High Priest who KNOWS intimately the pain and struggle that we have to endure. Thank God that we have a Father who, despite what we may have to endure, WILL work His will in our lives because He loves us and is faithful to ALL of His promises.

Hold fast to the hand of the one who has walked throught the deepest valley for us and who knows the way out.

Remember, too, for your husband, that sometimes God allows us to "break ourselves", to "hit bottom", before we are able to acknowledge Him and confess our need for Him. Sometimes we are Prodigal Sons who squander all the gifts that God has given us in pursuit of selfish goals and through self-deception.

God bless. Hold fast to your "first love". Remember the man you married, not the alien who has fallen into the "world's traps." Wrap yourself in a willing posture of forgiveness, of being able to forgive as God has forgiven us for what Jesus endured on our behalf to accomplish the Father's will.

(((((Tree Reich)))))

It's not easy...it's about the hardest thing I know of to endure, short of losing a child. Hold onto the collective MB hands to help keep you awake and upright.

Foreverhers....thank you so much for your kind wors!
I pray every night that God give me the strength to ge through this and to help my H find happiness with himself.
My H just sent me an email saying that he wished we didn't have the blow out we had last night...he said he really was looking forward to spending the day as a family and with me. I hear in his words how confused he is. One minute he's saying he doesn't want to be married and the next he's saying he wants to spend the day as a family.
I am not responding to his email. He also said he will not be at his sister's for dinner tonight. He would rather me go and enjoy. These comments give me a glimer of hope. I will hold on to them.
I know God will lead him in the right direction in time. All I can do is pray and take care of myself and son.
I have such deep pain and anger in my heart and am trying desperately to overcome them. I really appreciate all the support I get here. I will never be able to repay all of you for that!!!!!

tree - You won't get off that easy. When your marriage is recovered, you will need to come back here, and give hope to others. That is part of the MB plan.

Oh I will defintiely be here to help others. I am a lifer!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Great! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Wish me luck...I'm on my way to my SIL for dinner. I feel a lump in my throat!!!!!!
Be back later tonight!

Well, I had a nice dinner at my SIL. My H wasn't there and neither were my in-laws. My borther-in-laws both helped me fix the windsheild wipers on my car and seemed very sympathetic to me. They all offered their support and said If I need anything to call them.
My H hasn't called or anything since he sent email earlier...which I did not respond to. My son did just ask me how come daddy didn't come see him today. That was hard!!!
I don't know what tomorrow brings but today was ok.