Hi faithinme...

Pep stated:
"Hey, at least he's sleeping in the same bed with you!".

That's a biggie! Trust me... I know... Isleepwithacat... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Also, Pep stated:
"Here is one more idea (sorry WAT) .... if he goes to SAT ... pack a little "something" into his bag.... something personal .... like a thong! Put it in his CARRY ON ... so the airport security gets to enjoy it too...."

That made me think... I've read that 'smell' is the number one sense for evoking memories. I would try to include something in his luggage that has your perfume on it, his favorite, of course. Maybe generously spray your perfume onto a napkin/cotton ball/etc, and stick it (hide it) in the lining of his suitcase(S?). And I wouldn't let him know that I did it!

I wonder if the ow-child snoops through his stuff, when he's not around? A perfumed napkin/cotton ball/etc, should it be found, can actually appear to be quite innocent. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Again, just another thought...

Isleepwithacat

Pep - I am so tickled that you like my idea about the Disney family pictures! Anymore, I am way too unsure of myself, and I respect what you have to say a LOT. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Whew...Faith...I'm glad you're not planning on sending the girls and if I were you I would stop talking about it. He could tell them that you wanted to get rid of them. Imagine the damage.

The only thing I would do differently in your plan is when you call the ow/child don't say "I'm going to report you to your chain of command" you should say, "I have reported you to your chain of command." She could counter act your report claiming you are a mentally unstable wife of a military acquaintance. It would give them the heads up to change their behavior in order to not get caught. He could say he just wanted to move to SAT and she just happened to be there. He could say he was just talking to her about places to live, jobs, schools, etc and they were nothing more than friends. Don't give them that opportunity. Any loss your husband suffers because of the report is totally his responsibility.

When/if your WH leaves on the plane, before he leaves feed him Cappino ... it's an Italian (spelled EYE-talian if you're Melody) soup ladden with diff types of fish and massive garlic, most men LOVE it.

The days after it's eaten, the consumer literally reeks of fish and garlic, so much so, intimacy is challenging if not impossible ... if you get my drift.

I did it and I can testify that it worked wonders as a Plan A tactic (husband loved it) and an OW-intimacy deterant.

OW voiced paged my H all pissed-off and demanded to know why he smelled so much like fish and was he still having sex with me ... LMAO!!!

She's so very vile.

Jo

<small>[ August 21, 2004, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Yes-don't give her ANY info or give him too much. Get your ducks in a row. They are both the enemy now-well he is a hostage anyway LOL. He'll be back soon-tough love sweetie. Hugs-Jersey Girl-one more thing-you are a gem and he really doesn't know what a good thing he's got. He never had a chance to look around because you married young, I wish he knew, but he'll find out!

Good evening! Thank you again for all the great advice and encouragement. I do hope WH realizes what he has here at home too!

We had a great afternoon. The morning wasn't so good, but you can't win them all. I got up this morning and went out to coffee with a girlfriend and when WH asked where I was going while he was still in bed I just told him I had an appointment. We had talked about taking the kids to Seattle for the day so I told him I would be back in about two hours so let's plan on leaving when I get home. I got home and no one was ready to go and he was in a MOOD. So, I just went about getting everyone ready and talking about what a great time we were going to have. At one point, I went out to the back patio to sit for a moment while the kids were cleaning up their morning mess and he came outside in attack mode saying, "I KNOW you were at a lawyers today. What were you doing? You are going to make this ugly when I leave next Saturday aren't you?"

Well, I chose to respond only to the last statement and let him assume what he will about where I went this morning. I told him I have not and will not get ugly. Let's get going so we can get to Seattle for lunch. He just wanted to keep at it. So, I kissed him. Then I looked at him and said, "I am still holding out hope for this marriage and choose to believe you won't be leaving next weekend. So, why would I be thinking about getting ugly. That's not where my energy is going." You know what..... he glared at me and said "**** you" and walked away.

He has NEVER said that to me. I couldn't believe it. So I walked away and into the house. He did come up a little while later and wanted to know why I was trying to pick a fight. Apparently, wanting to save my marriage is now a way to pick a fight. Ugh. He never did apologize for it either. He started being nicer for a while, but never apologized. I didn't expect one considering his state of mind, but still, it would have been nice.

When we finally left for Seattle, I drove and he slept on the way there. Then, when we got there it was great. We took the kids to the Pacific Science Center and played with them all day. We went to the butterfly exhibit and I had someone there take a picture of our family together. It's the only one we have of us all together except for the baby's baptism pictures. (That'll be going out in a mass mailing should he leave!) Then we went out to dinner at this little Italian place at the Seattle Center where we've gone in the past. Nice dinner, nice conversation. The girls and I have a little thing we usually do every night where each of us says what our best part of the day was. So, we did it at dinner and each of the girls said theirs was the glowing animals exhibit, I said mine was having our picture taken as a family for the first time and WH said his was dinner since he had all his family with him. Hmmm.. good answer. I looked at him and said, "You know, you could have years of dinners with your family." He actually seemed to think about that. I caught him looking at me and each of the kids throughout the rest of dinner like he was thinking or remembering.

The drive home was boring.... I slept. But now we're home and he's run to the store (needed an OW fix I think since he had a good time with us) and we're going to all cuddle up in bed and watch a movie when he gets back. Actually, now, since he just pulled up.

I hope everyone has a wonderful night. It looks like I'll be printing out a nice little Eye-talian recipe to serve up for dinner this Friday. He just loves it when I make special dinners <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Here's the recipe. I had the spelling wrong.

You can also buy the tomatoe base at QFC in the seafood section if you want to save some time, then simply add the seafood.

Plan A "Cioppino" (aka Anti-OW soup)

Serving Size: 6

1 1/4 cups Onion -- chop
20 milliliters Garlic -- chop
3/4 cup Green bell pepper -- chop
1 cup Celery -- chop
1/4 cup Olive oil
14 ounces Can tomatoes
16 ounces Can tomato sauce
1 teaspoon Thyme
1 teaspoon Basil
1 teaspoon Oregano
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 cup Dry red wine
1/4 pound Shrimp; peel -- halve
1 pound Firm white fish -- 1" cubes
1 cup Clam juice or water
1/2 pound Crab pieces
1/2 pound Small scallops
Fresh parsley for garnish

In a stock pot or Dutch oven, saute onion, garlic, green pepper, and celery in oil until soft but not brown. Add tomatoes, tomato sauce, herbs and spices, wine and clam juice. Heat to boiling, then simmer 30 minutes. Add shrimp, fish, crab, and scallops to sauce. Simmer 10 to 15 minutes. Add water if needed. Serve in large soup bowls; garnish with fresh parsley.

<small>[ August 22, 2004, 12:03 AM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

I want to wish you a great trip. The anger he had was really anger at himself. He'd love to blame it on someone else, but he can't and it is killing him. He is remembering the good times. Keep at the plan a, you are doing a great time at fighting for your family. He's getting there. Honestly, he's a fool if he lets you go. I am pretty sure if he goes he will want to come back when the bubble bursts. Hang in there faith-we're all on your side. God Bless! Jersey Girl

Mine did the anger thing too. It will pass.

Faith,

I just wanted to say that every time I get a chance I "tune in" to this channel to see how you're doing. You still seem to be doing an outstanding job.

Just one thought. I know you don't really intend to send the kids - although I think it's a great idea. But just in case, if he has agreed to pay child support (not spousal), the amount would be greatly reduced if he has the kids. Just a thought...

BTW. (in case you forgot my last post), I'm a guy, and a dad - and I think your H is completly nuts to even think about leaving his family.

Honestly, I think you are on track to winning this. All you need is time.

-AD

Enjoying reading you as always, Faith! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


You are so good that I had no need to comment <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> , except to tell you how smart woman you are, and fighter, and... an amazing lady!


With your attitudes - no way you won't be happy again, even happier than ever!


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dear Faith,

Glad you and your family had a nice time. See you can cause the A to LB without lifting a finger.

Like I told my WS at the time: 'you can't sleep in 2 beds at the exact same time, now can you?' Of course that is what the WS tries hard t/d. I told the WS his OW's bed was 30+ miles from our home and he sure wouldn't have much to give if he stretched his legs that far - LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

So I let pictures like that fill his head and eventually he came home. I remember when I told him the 2 different bed line he gave it a thought for a few minutes. Later (about 2 wks later) he said how hard it was getting. I reminded him it was getting hard for me to because he was not smelling right(oohhhh, I loved telling him he stank when I felt he had been with the OW). OW had 2 dogs so it was easy to make up a story like that. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Beside, to me she always stank. Ha!

Keep up the good work.

L.

Hello again. So much has been happening that I haven't had the time to jump on here and update. Thanks to everyone for the encouraging words though:)

It has been up and down so much recently that I'm not REALLY sure that I'm not just going to be relieved if he goes. I've really thought about it and as much as I want to make this work and will fight for it as long as he is here, a part of me would just like the chance to move on from here. My first choice would be to move on with him. But if the only way to start moving in a POSTITIVE direction is to do it on a path away from him, I think I'm just about ready to do it.

Anyway, in my last post he was just pulling up to the house after our day in Seattle. When he came in, he walked to me and said, "You know what? We really do have a pretty good life together." Well, of course I agreed with him. Then he goes on to say that he's really been thinking lately and maybe when he goes to SA he will realize that this is really where he needs to be. Maybe that will be the eye-opener for him.

My translation of this is please let me have my cake and eat it too. I know you said I can't come back if I get on the plane, but here's a bone for you.....run after it and let me come back anyway.

Hmmmmmmmmmm. NO. I said, "We do have a great life honey and it can be even so much better. It would be a shame to miss out on that because you go to SA. It would hurt me to know that you finally realized what you had after you've lost it."

So we went on with the night and watched our movie and had a good time. The next morning we decided to go out for breakfast. On the way there, he starts talking about the divorce again and how we need to refinance the house (we can't and I explained the reasons to him). THEN he starts in with he won't have enough money to live comfortably if he gives me what he said he would so we need to find a way to cut expenses. I tried to diffuse the conversation with we should look at ways to do that, let's sit down later, etc. He was itching for a fight. Of course, I realize this in hindsight. So, I looked at him and went into the choices=actions=consequences talk. By this time we are parked in the parking lot of the restaurant and the girls have gone in to get us on the waiting list.

He got sick of hearing that his choices will cause negative consequences. This reality is a bit difficult I'm sure. He tried to turn it on me that if I would get a full time job, he would have more to live on and things wouldn't have to be tight, blah, blah. So. It's my choice that is causing these negative consequence. I felt it prudent to point out that MY CHOICE is to stay married and therefore bypass all of this chaos. This point was not well received. The calmer I was, the more irate and mean he became. So, I left. I walked out of the car and into a neighboring motel. If I didn't, things were going to get UGLY.

I called a girlfriend to pick me up while I watched him frantically driving around trying to find me. I was shaking I was getting so mad rethinking the conversation! At this point I just wanted the keys to one of the cars and another place to stay until he left for SA.

To make this long story shorter, eventually after a lot of fighting and threats we were able to talk. He really listened to what is frustrating me about this process. He is so busy protecting his relationship with OW that he has no energy left over to really be working on things. His walls are up and don't allow anything to break through for more than short periods of time. This would be okay if we actually had time to work on things but he leaves on Saturday. Two hours later, he says I'm right. He wants to break down those walls and try harder. He wants to really be able to see if there is a reason to stay. Maybe something will happen and he'll postpone the trip. He ends with a plea for me to stay with him at the house so we can try.

Okay. We go out to dinner and I have to say that after that talk, we both felt much better and more open. He said that was the best he's felt about our R and the most hopeful he's been since this started. Again, we have a nice night and go to bed.

Monday morning, I go to get out of bed and he pulls me back to talk. Pillow talk. This from a guy who usually springs up from bed before me or stays there until I'm gone in the morning. It was fun. We joked, laughed and had fun. I got up, got ready, and 3 times before I left he came up to give me big hugs. There was even a kiss in there. I was feeling good about this turn of events and he said he was enjoying our time together and wanted to show me instead of tell me that he's trying.

I go to work and then go home while he's out supply shopping with the kids. His computer is on, open and has his email account on. I tried to not look. Really, I did. I lost the battle with myself and looked. Well, at 10:30 yesterday morning, 2 hours after hugging me and telling how much he's showing me, he sent OW an email with his itinerary for Saturday and a big 'ol disertation on how I'm crazy and blackmailing him and blah, blah, blah. I went back through other emails. This is pretty much what he has told her about me the entire time. Emails going back to June 30th, the day he got here on his last one week trip, talk about how she hopes he's able to hold out against my mean and cruel blackmailing deeds. (Writing this makes it seem funnier than it did while I was reading it.) Of course there's the I love you's etc. She refers to me as your 'wife'. That's wife, in quotations. WHAT??? That irritated me. I also found out they are planning on getting married on Oct. 31st. So much for, it would take me years to get married again. And on MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY!! Well, I emailed their emails to my email address, deleted them from sent items and trash, and went to think.

Then I called him. I can't help this feeling that he's using me and leading me on for a place to stay until Saturday with no real intention to try. I should just accept that, but UGH, games. I hate 'em when I'm not the one at the helm. How could he sit there and rub on me and reassure me while then mailing her the itinerary and that garbage.

I told him what I saw and he said he had written that stuff the day before while he was mad at me and forgot it was there as well as the information on his ticket. He swore that yes, he does plan on going right now but it VERY WELL could change by Saturday. All the while, my B***Sh** meter is going off. He swears he's really and truly trying to break down his walls and feels good about the possibilities. He says he wants the chance to show me that and realizes that may mean he has to be the one to do the work for a few days after I saw what he said. He apologized profusely for bad talking me and said a lot of it is to reassure her and he won't do it again.

At this point, I figure I don't really have a choice. I've committed to working on this through Sat. and I'm going to keep at it. When he comes home, we again have a long, in depth discussion and although we both felt it put us back a bit, felt we still have good possibilities.

We have dinner, play around, have a good time and are affectionate with each other. I figured this is as good a time as any to go for the SF. So, I get a cute little outfit on and went to bed. When he joined me, I laid it out on the line. You've got me here, are you going to do anything about it? It was more subtle than that but the end result? He took the bait.

I can't say it was the right thing to do today. He is SO guilt-ridden about it. He told me that he didn't feel anything and it just felt wrong right since we started kissing. He swears he tried to open up and see if he felt anything towards me but that he didn't and that tells him a lot. Now, I was pretty much expecting this. How could it really be different when he's calling all the time, reassuring her, going to see her, etc. It still hurt to hear him say that, but I really did expect it. His energy is still there and he is still planning on going to see her with the knowledge he can't come back. I tried to point some of this out and tell him that I think it's natural for him to feel guilty but he thinks it just means there is nothing there for me and can't be. I asked him, "If you had been with another women right after leaving and knowing you were coming back to me in a few days, wouldn't you have felt intense guilt?" He acknowledged that he would but said it's just not the same. I just don't think I can feel for you that way again. I said, "Honey, this isn't the movies. You've been with her for 6 months and gone from me 18 months. Right now, your heart is with her. Did you expect singing choirs of angels, rainbows and flashes of light the first time you kissed me or were with me? I didn't! I expected that it will take time and energy to feel comfortable with each other. I love you with all my heart and want more than anything to be with you and I didn't feel any sparks or connection. How could you? Four days isn't enough to get that but I figured there has to be a starting point, a first time."

So, that's where we are right now. I'm feeling a little yucky about having been with him. I do think that if we had more time I could work around this guilt thing and we would feel comfortable with each other. I'm not sure he would allow himself to give it another go around...I'm not sure I could either. I'm wondering if it wasn't a mistake after all. We're still going to work on things and he'll still try to keep down his walls, but I'm pretty much expecting he'll be gone on Saturday and I'll be starting a new life. Anyone know any nice, single guys in the Seattle/Tacoma area?

FIM..

You consistantly break my heart while simultaniously lifting my spirits. What an odd duck you are <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

An odd duck and a profoundly wise and strong duck. No one will be making soup out of you. That you post these heartbreaking events with wisdom, foresight, hindsight, and humor is astounding.

Your H is clearly very committed to his lover at this time...I wouldn't sweat the details as it were. You would have no way to know in advance whether SF was going to help or hinder and you still don't know what you have set into motion for the future. What is clear is that you have done everything within your power to give your H the best possible odds to recover should he choose to do so. You have made a plan and executed it beautifully even when it was very painfull to do so. I hold you in the highest regard. His loss will be great indeed for this glaring lapse in judgement.

I think you should carry out your plan without regret or fear for the future..your future can not help but be a beautifull and exciting place. If your H chooses to miss out on it..too bad for him. You know...he really will likely see that as this plays out in the long term. I'm sure that is no consolation to you though. I'm very sorry that you and your children have to endure this.

I'm also very pleased that he will be so uncomfortable while providing for his family and trying to support another household as well. I'm not suprised though that he thinks you should be the one to make up the difference. What unmitigated gall these WS aliens have. Thank goodness you weren't swayed by his rather transparent attempts at manipulating himself into a more comfy scenario at your expense.

As for the emails..well..it's very upsetting, but really, what else would they be saying to each other and about you. You are really just so inconvenient...especially since you keep refusing to read your lines correctly from their script. I can also see clearly why she refers to you as 'wife'. She would like to think of herself as the rightfull owner of your husbands heart. They plan to marry..she sees the title of Wife as her own..that leaves her no choice but to view you as an usurper and therefore 'wife'. Just something to be dismissed. We have to dehumanize those we wish to harm you see..unless we are willing to abandon the duplicity of doing wrong while claiming right. She even applauds him for his strength in resisting you as though you were the mistress. They have quite changed reality around and have tried to turn the tables on you as a result. Bravo for seeing this for what it is and not complying.

I wish that there were some consolation that I could offer you, but alas all I have is my paltry admiration and my surety that these bleak times will and must give way to your future.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Running the gamut--Noodle

THEN he starts in with he won't have enough money to live comfortably if he gives me what he said he would so we need to find a way to cut expenses.

bwhahahaha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Get a lawyer and get support lined up right away and do not back down an inch!

Who cares if he's living comfortably in Texas? "Not I" says the little red hen.


a big 'ol disertation on how I'm crazy and blackmailing him and blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, crazy like a FOX!

She refers to me as your 'wife'. That's wife, in quotations. WHAT???

Does she refer to your kids as your 'kids' too???

She is really clueless as to what exactly she is getting herself into.

That irritated me. I also found out they are planning on getting married on Oct. 31st.

Really???? Is Daddy planning to tell the 'kids' this detail before he abandons them?


Well, I emailed their emails to my email address, deleted them from sent items and trash, and went to think.

Hand them over to your attorney. And yes, NOW is the time to speak to a family lawyer. You need your ducks lines up to be sure to get the support money you deserve .... BEFORE he "gets married".

And.... we need to see your Plan B letter draft pretty soon.

Pep

Things are definitely happening for you Faith.

Action is good.

You WILL do awesome for the long rest of your life.....of that I have minimal doubt.

You and your children will be in my thoughts for the next few days!

Faith...
I'm so sorry about the e-mails and the lies. In order to soothe their conscience, they have to demonize you. Deep in your husband's heart he knows the truth and knows that you've seen what he has done. How he can stand to look at himself in the mirror is beyond me.

Be sure to print off those e-mails and store them in a safe place. They'll be especially helpful when you inform her chain of command...did you notice I didn't say if but when! That needs to be done as soon as his plane takes off on Saturday.

I'm sorry but they have done a horrible disservice to the men and women who have honorably served our country. I'm ashamed of them both.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when he gets to SAT and the reality of what he left behind hits him. There is a man out there who would appreciate what a fine person you are. You are too good for this man. Your children are blessed to have you as their mother. All of you deserve better than this load of donkey dung.

oops

<small>[ August 24, 2004, 04:24 PM: Message edited by: jph ]</small>

Noodle - Your reply brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for the strength in your words.

Pep - I just love your responses. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> The plan B letter will be updated very shortly.

I am definately talking with my attorney to be ready for whatever comes. My heart does a little jig when I think about the fact that even though he doesn't know it, he can't get married until OCTOBER 31, 2006 if I choose to keep the divorce contested. I may even do that just to do it. The attorney will be able to set up support in the interim so I really don't have any hurry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Golly gee. Do you think they might get upset <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Crazy? Unhinged? Blackmailing 'wife'? Damn. If only she knew!!! She will though. She will. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Do you think telling the commander and handing over the emails sent back and forth over government email lines counts as crazy? Hmmm. I wonder?

I'm going home here in a few minutes and plan to just keep on keeping on. I'm still going to wear my little nighties. If he doesn't feel anything, it shouldn't bother him. If he does feel something, let it bother him. We're taking the kids to get backpacks and a new beta fish since ours died. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I'll be damned if it's not going to be the funnest shopping trip we will have taken in a long time. He can go, but he'll have plenty to miss once he's gone!

faithinme, your H is CARAYZEE. Any woman whose favorite holiday is Halloween...

Get a lawyer right away if you haven't. Your H and OW don't have half a brain between them now. You'll be at a great advantage if you start to get ready for a legal fight. They have no clue what they're doing. My WW and her OM are the same way - like little kids who've drifted into water that's too deep. Unfortunately our legal system will throw 'em a life preserver, make it easier to float.

If he leaves, I don't see how he can stay away, but of course you'll need to choose between making popcorn or getting yourself free.

Somebody will be damned lucky to find you.

GC

I don't know how I got so far behind on your story, faith. Guess it was my vacation. I forgot about the violation-of-military-code-of-conduct part of all this, and that you're lawyered up already.

It's funny, I don't know why, but the loyal wives here seem to bounce back faster than the loyal husbands. I'm not ready to dump my WW, and she's turned into a swamp creature. I worry about her and can't stand to see her fall. I hate to think of her life with OM after we're divorced. A train wreck.

Your H will experience one of his own, but for a while it will be a vacation for him and OW. I think it's deadly funny to watch how fast the WS shack up. Wheeeee! We're shacking up!

GC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by faithinme:
<strong> Hello again. So much has been happening that I haven't had the time to jump on here and update.

..... I also found out they are planning on getting married on Oct. 31st. So much for, it would take me years to get married again. And on MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY!! Well, I emailed their emails to my email address, deleted them from sent items and trash, and went to think.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well faith, over all I'd say you handled yourself quite well. I just couldn't shake from my mind that the OW and WS are planning a wedding but take it from me, many do. In our case the OW was planning a wedding the same month as our anniversary. Talk about freaky.

Since OW is planning an Oct 31st wedding, I thought I'd share a pix: Bride of Frankenstein

Let your H know that this is how you pix the OW to look. Just his style? At least that pix w/b embedded in his head so when he does see the OW, he will have the reflection of how you pix her t/b. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.