NCW,

A question for you. (If you'd be so kind).

Where has RAP herself gotten too?

She seemed to have "disappeared" even BEFORE all this new crises came about.
(At least from this board anyway)

Just wondering if you could say a few words about why that happened?
And how it is contributing to what is occurring now.

NOT attacking her and Not looking for you to have to defend her.
Just curious about the dynamics playing out here.

After all she does know the MBers principles and yet she abandons this place and goes off on her own.
Unfortunately, look what happened.

She really seemed to draw her support and motivation from her friend (BV).
Did her commiserating partner leaving here have anything to do with this situation?
You know ... first her exiting from here and then her relapse with contact.

If she would rather speak for herself, then by all means feel free.

NOT looking for a fight.....just some clarity & understanding.
Thanks

I don't mean to make you distrust RAP any more than you do already, but do you know she's NOT reading all this and knows of your plans? I mean, sure it's gonna come out, but d'ya suppose that maybe it'll fuel her desire to see OM "to warn him" or something. And if she does? What do you think OM is going to do? He's gonna make sure somehow his wife doesn't make it to the meeting....

Just a thought. I agree this needs to be sooner rather than later....but you've known about it since the weekend....I'm just worried the longer you wait, the more the chance the OM has to try to CHA (cover his [censored]).

And RAP, if you are reading....sweetie, we're praying for you....praying you quit chasing the fantasy....cause your reality is a heckuva lot better than most!

Please, NCW, try to control your tongue. Nail it to your desk if you can't. Your young'uns don't need the tension in the house....do it for them if you can't do it for RAP.

- Kimmy

Top Rope,

RAP is still around. She lurks but does not post anymore.

She has read this thread and was a little angry with me about it. But I can understand why. I use this forum to sometimes sort out my thoughts. Things I wouldn’t “say” or “do.” I just choose to write them because it is helpful to me and I hope it helps someone else. But, alas, she reads them. Maybe I should use a journal instead.

And I am sure that I present things skewed from my point of view. I try and be honest, but she is right. There are things I could word differently. You guys know the drill, two sides to every coin and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Although both RAP and I are pretty honest about our posts. I don’t think either of us have outright lied, more like different interpretations of events and their meanings. The good thing about her reading is it is like a double check for me, keeping me honest. So I don’t mind. Kind of meshes with Radical Honesty if you think about it.

I don’t think her disappearance was coincident with the last betrayal. It occurred 10 days ago and I think she has posted since then.

She is still conversing with BV on regular e-mail. But now without people farther along interjecting wisdom. So I understand your curiosity. But I don’t think the two were related.

As far as why she did it – that’s up to her to post. She has explained it to me. It was still a stupid thing to do, she thinks so too. But after talking with her about it, I don’t think it was malicious. She knew it would hurt, felt she “had” to do it, and did it. (They just talked in a public place. OM was actually pretty scared I would find out. He is VERY scared right now.) I am just hung up on the fact that she risked such pain in me. Having lots of trouble coming to grips with that. Makes me want to quit. Definitely the catalyst for forcing my hand on telling OMW. RAP is now going to have to deal with that, where before she would not. I am struggling with my inner thoughts, I don’t want to tell out of vengeance because it will make RAPs life very hard but how can I trust her now, ya know?

She has a VERY wise friend, her best friend, who is also a BS. This woman shed some very interesting light on the why. But again, RAP will have to post that should she choose. I kind of hope she does, as it was an interesting take that I have not heard on the board before and in truth it witnessed to me too.

I hope I have said everything right. She has told me some of this herself, some of it is my impression.

NiosGirl,

I have considered this. Her warning OM about me telling OMW. I am aware of the risks, but feel that approaching her with her pastor will add enough weight to the conversation that it won’t matter. (I finally tracked him down. Have an appointment with him on Friday.)

NCW

Thank you for the response.
It is most appreciated.

I sincerely hope that things begin to improve to your satisfaction, here in the near future.
Blessings to you Both.

Enjoy your evening!