I got an email from WW this am saying she needs money to pay bills. I replied that her request has been forwarded to OM @ Hotmail.com and his two other email addresses.

No joke, am I acting harshly and immaturely as she states. I would like some serious feedback!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cymanca:
<strong> I got an email from WW this am saying she needs money to pay bills. I replied that her request has been forwarded to OM @ Hotmail.com and his two other email addresses.

No joke, am I acting harshly and immaturely as she states. I would like some serious feedback!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That would be a NO.

No kids...no money. She isn't your responsibility.

JMHO
committed

Your response was harsh but in the fog it softens a bit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Really it does.

What does she expect? You to be her $$ financial support? I did the same with my Ws. When he told me he didn't have $$ for childcare expenses, I told him to go borrow from his $$bags OW. She even gave him a check! Go figure. I never saw a dime of it. He did not want to be tied financially to the OW. Duh, his zipper was already stuck to her shirt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

If he was dumb enough to do that, I would have taken it. But no, no $$ ever came my way. The H now lives with that memory. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

U did fine. It will not fair well in the fog though. She may now say you don't love her. In reality you don't. Not the WS, but you do love your W. Play those words back to her. It is one piece of clarity that will continue to ring in her head even after you are not around her.

take care,
L.

Committed and Orchid,

Thanks for your prompt replies. Again I have always been so protective of my W that simple things like this really get my Catholic guilt in turbo mode.

Hey! No fair!

WW wanted to divorce you, not your wallet!!!

~sarcasm on a Monday~ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I hope and pray I never acted that way in my fog. (Although, maybe not an issue of money, but I'm afraid (and very sorry) I did with other topics.)

Cym, she stole your love, now she wants to steal your money too??? I really don't understand her. You absolutely did the right thing!

Oh, and if you reach for your wallet, I'll have my Catholic school ruler waiting!


Hey Pep! You took *my* job! I'm the sarcastic, smart a** one! (OK. OK. Turnabout is fair play, I suppose--I did step on your toes with the Welcoming Committee! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

Pepper,

I wish I could laugh, but my understanding is that UPS truck is there quite often with boxes from Nordstrom, Saks, and Victoria's Secret( which she NEVER bought while I was married to her).

Orchid, you made me laugh out loud!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Duh, his zipper was already stuck to her shirt. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cymanca, has your WW commented about your new office art? I missed it if she did. What more could she possibly want from you??? That kind of "art" is priceless! Priceless!!! And the tasteful wooden Wal-mart frames almost brings a tear to my Spidey eye. [sniff]

SS

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY:
<strong> ......Cym, she stole your love, now she wants to steal your money too??? I really don't understand her. You absolutely did the right thing!

Oh, and if you reach for your wallet, I'll have my Catholic school ruler waiting! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Liny's right and if you need a closer ruler, I think we can get believer and ol' 2Long to use your ruler. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Pep: WW wanted to divorce you, not your wallet!!!

Now that's a classic. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Spidy, very visual doncha think? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Now my dear Cy, up here in the bay area we have kids running around with those nasty huge chains tying who knows what to their pants. LOL!!! I can have one sent to you so that your wallet stays shut and secured to you. Just don't lose your pants, ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The 2nd option is my H has a few of those large chains truckers use to hook up to their trucks. At the garage sale he was asking $30.00 for a 30 footer, interested? Just kidding. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just sending a few options your way to 'secure' your finances. LOL!!!

L.

ps: Don't laugh too loud or you may have to explain to your staff why you are having these emotional outbursts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Spidey,

She knows they are hanging in my office,but she has not seen patients yet. She does have keys and can let herself in anytime. I am surprised they weren't yanked off the wall during the weekend. Maybe she is proud of them?????

On a very sober note, as I read my WW email demand for money, looking up at the two embracing lovers was a real kick in the rational butt. I seriously might have been tempted to again be " the classy guy" and forward some money. The picture stopped me dead in my tracks. So I guess it worked!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> On a very sober note, as I read my WW email demand for money, looking up at the two embracing lovers was a real kick in the rational butt. I seriously might have been tempted to again be " the classy guy" and forward some money. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am so glad that you are the classy guy who hung up his WW's adultrous thong photos in his office instead!!! Heck, those are WAY better than the beer poster pictures that Orchid was afraid of.

But, on a sober note, I am glad they served their purpose. Your WW needs to know how her reality is going to be, and you "rescuing" her from herself will only enable her.

You never know, perhaps she will grow up! Stranger things have happened . . . my FWH came home after a 3 month separation. I didn't think there was a snowball's chance for that . . .

Hang in there. KEEP LAUGHING!!!

SS

You did the right thing!!! She is the OM's responsibility now, let him pay her bills!

Spidey,

I just want to be clear that these pictures are in our personal private office. They are not visible to patients or casual traffic thru our offices.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> They are not visible to patients or casual traffic thru our offices.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank heavens! I was pretty sure you wouldn't subject your patients to that, but thanks for the clarification!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Cy,

You should gently broach the subject of returning any "gifts" she bought herself or OM so she can have some cash in the bank.Spending like a freak is many women's idea of filling voids and boredom so you can rest assured that your WW is not all happy and fulfilled by a long shot.Trouble in paradise I would say.

O

10girl,

If I tried to even suggest a way for her to conserve or recoup her money, I would get shotdown so fast and with so much venom, it would make my head spin.

Since I FINALLY exposed the affair to her family, colleagues and friends, she has been nasty, nasty and more nasty.

I had a friend of a family member tell me that I was being criticized by family members because as a professional I should not be "taking shots at my WW". I replied that I was doing what was recomended to me by people I trust, everything I said was the ABSOLUTE TRUTH, and challenged ANYONE to give me even ONE example of what she has done to preserve the Marriage. I won't hold my breath waiting for an answer.

I did not expect universal acclaim ( although everyone that has written back has been extremely supportive of me). This "fog" must be catching because it's going through the WW's family.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cymanca:
<strong>....I had a friend of a family member tell me that I was being criticized by family members because as a professional I should not be "taking shots at my WW". I replied that I was doing what was recomended to me by people I trust, everything I said was the ABSOLUTE TRUTH, and challenged ANYONE to give me even ONE example of what she has done to preserve the Marriage. I won't hold my breath waiting for an answer.

...This "fog" must be catching because it's going through the WW's family. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Confict avoiding tendancies run high among the WS family's at times. But what do they mean by 'because you are a professional'??? What does your job have to do with your M being on the rocks? Oooh.....that stupid illogic really gets on my nerves.

'Taking shots at your W'? Is protecting yourself taking shots at your W? Oooh, the fog does run rampant down south. Better check with your weatherperson. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Don't worry Cy, time will tell and clear the fog. Maybe you would be better to be away from this mess. At least until the fog clears. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Ok, I will get down from the MB lookout up here in No CA. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

You are right! I will let my lawyer handle it because I have a feeling the legalese will be coming down the pike.WW needs cash, I should be getting some interim money demands in the next couple of days

I was going to comment on the "professional" comment as well. How stupid. You have just as much right as anyone else to follow tried and true techniques to save your marriage.

Why should you have to leave the M without knowing that you, for one, did everything you could to save it???

Dumb fogese talk. I wish we had a universal translator for fogese. I wonder what that person was really saying? Maybe "Because of WW's profession, you shouldn't tell people because it could affect HER ability to make $$" Perhaps it has nothing to do with you and your profession at all. Who knows.

I think I deciphered most of my FWH's fogese, but a lot of it he had to help me with. Some things were too far out in fogland for me to even guess at. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SS

Spider,

Thank you for your comments. I think one of the strongest aspects of MB forums is the validation that is received once you implement these principles. I am sure that the vast majority of BS's get the same responses from their WS's families. AND because that fog is so insidious and far reaching it touches the BS and makes them step back and question what they have done. It's is fascinating that the ONE person that has done everything to save his/her M gets painted as the stumbling block towards reconciliation.