SS,

Hear you are being dragged on that roller coaster with threats no less, eh? Well you do well to check out your legal options. You can pull your $$ out of any joint accounts and put them in a safe place.

CA is a community property state but he is also going to have to explain why he can't support himself. Judges and lawyers have a bit a leeway in this and even though you m/b required to give some alimony &/or child support, the legal system doesn't take kindly to a guy who can't support himself while having an A. See even if CA doesn't have adultery as a means for D, getting that info into the legal systems ears may bring things in your favor. Still CA is pretty much an equation type of D system. My lawyer told me I had all the women's lib movement to thank for that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Check out separation. You could lose the $$ b4 separation and then regain it after and he may not be able to touch it. Well maybe.

The point is, is to act as if his threats related to finances are real. Better t/b cautious. If he then renegs, you have lost nothing. Remember he is the one who has to earn back the trust, not you.

When you see him trying to blame you or make you feel guilty, take that as a big red flag and run away from making any commitments to him.

JMHO,
L.