i dont know if it can ever be the same. i've been wondering that myself. i dont know if i want a divorce right now either tree,i'm just like you.i cant take all the hurtful things he says to me. his words just cut me to shreds. i think to myself, i sure dont want him like that!(shudder). if he cant love me and cherish me, i'll be miserable anyway. i dont want to see him or talk to him i'm too angry right now. hugs to you tree. maybe we can help each other thru this hell.

Shelly,
Yes, we can be here for each other. I am so hurt and don't even know how to get through each day. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. I just hope and pray each day that my H will come home to me and want to work on our marriage. I don't know what it is but there is just something in me that will not give up! I've tired but it just doesn't seem to work. All I can do now is be there for my son and hope for the best. I wish the same for you.

While in an A, they all say and do the same things. Don't take it personally. When the A is over, they can't believe the things they said.

I just got back from picking my son up from school. While I was there I ran into my SIL. She said that she support me and that the whole family does. They want my H and I to work things out. They don't want to lose me or my son in all of this. It felt good to hear that from her. She said she will be there for me and is still calling me to be a part of family gatherins. I told her that if my H was going to go then my son could go with him. If my H isn't there then I will bring my son. I told her that I have to seperate from him so that I can stop hurting. She understood and agreed. It does feel good to have their support in all of this.
I am just going to follow my heart and see where it leads me.

When there is a child involved.....how often should the WH see the child? My H has been coming to get our son almost everyday. Don't you think that if we get divorced and I move that he isn't going to be able to do that so why should I allow him to do that now? I don't know how to deal with this issue. I want my son to see his father as much as possible but I also want to keep his life stable.n Any suggestions????

TR,

I have been following your threads. Sounds so much like my own situation. You are very eloquent with your postings, and I see alot of my own feelings, regrets, and anxiety. In addition, the lack of respect shown by our spouses really makes us wonder who they are.

I am glad your safe with your son.

As far as visiting goes, I feel the same way. But you have to give as much acess to you DS as possible. For your son's sake. He still needs his father. Unless there is some abuse or danger in having him be with WH I would not discourage nor encourage it. Just let it be. Your DS is probably seeing more of WH than he ever has before.

You are taking the high road in all of this mess. Stay on the track your on.

I did file for divorce from my WW. To protect myself and family from her behaivor.

I'm really trying to be strong for my son. You are right....my son is spending more time with his father than before. It just seems that my H gets all the fun times and I have to do the homework, dressed for school and all the other responsabilities. It's very frustrating!!!

I don't know if I can ever look at my H the same again. I guess only time will tell. In the end I may want a divorce and someone else. I guess that's the chance he is taking by not being here. I can only do what I feel is best for me and my son right now.

My parents are coming today for a visit. It will be nice to have them here. I miss having another adult in my home to talk to.

I will enjoy my weekend and try to stay strong!

Your WH, inside, must know how this will affect his DS. My WW frequently says, "you'll always be his father/dad ... etc etc"

But I guess I have a different idea about that than she does. I feel like a mule to carry the entire financial burden, without any domestic support from her (SAHM).

I don't know how I can be a "real" father when I'm not at home. A real father is there when the kids need them. Not on the weekends and holidays.

I want to be there when my daughter gets home from a date, or my son has an issue. I want to be there when they have a problem, help them with school work, assist in thier projects. How can I share in thier life when I'm relegated to "visiting" my own children. Good Lord, my WW wants to make me a "VISITOR" to my own children.

TR, certainly your husband has to have this in the back of his head. I grew up with two loyal parents. My WW grew up with an absentee father, maybe that is why she views me as nothing but a finacial support means.