I threadjacked Bob Pure in a way that was a bit too blatant even for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> so I've started a new topic.

I'm not really asking anything here just wanted to put it into words.

It's our 30th wedding anniversary tomorrow but we're going out to dinner tonight with the family. I've had mixed emotions all weekend. I'm so happy we really did make it but I can't help feeling if I hadn't stuffed things up so badly this would be the most amazing celebration of our marriage so far. It's going to be quite low key but still a happy occasion.

A while ago H came in with a bottle of the same champagne we had at our wedding. It was all I could do not to burst into tears. I suppose it's guilt that makes me feel like that. Or maybe I would have cried anyway if nothing had happened to put a dent in our marriage. You see, I'll never know that sort of thing anymore.

I just wanted to say we've made it through this but things are always going to be a little different.

Battle scarred but triumphant I think you could say.

Jen

<small>[ August 22, 2004, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>

Congrats are definitely in order!

Enjoy the bubbly!

Thanks Chack, I've been close to tears all weekend. I have a feeling it's all going to spill out later tonight and I'm going to have a damn good cry.

I am happy, very happy but this is a biggie to deal with. JL told me that one day this was going to hit me like a 10 ton truck and I think this might be the day.

I will enjoy the bubbly - so will D. She loves it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jen

What do you mean hit you like a 10 ton truck?

Because you all survived your affair?

He meant one day the full enormity of what I'd done to my H and family would hit me and I would realise what I nearly lost.

I came on here in February saying the fog had lifted. As Rookev said back then "not even close." My first MB 2x4 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Well it has now.

This is a silly track to be going down.

This is a wonderful milestone in our marriage and I'm going to darn well enjoy it. You're right, we've made it and I'm proud of us.

I don't think the kids (huh kids <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> - 24 and 26)will say anything to us but I think they are absolutely thrilled we worked this out.

Jen

I was thinking...

Considering our situations maybe it's good that we never forget the damage we did.

I mean we should forgive ourselves, learn from it all, etc... But if we forget... What's that saying, "If you don't learn from the past you are doomed to repeat it."?

Well, maybe put off the wallop from the truck until tomorrow. I take it you will be sharing a bottle of the really expensive, good bubbly with your family. If you do, take just a little extra for yourself and hubby!!! Then when you two are alone... Well, you know... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I think the bubby can make things a lot funner! Not that it isn't fun already!!! LOL!

Yes Chack, I know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I didn't get the title "uncrowned sex goddess of MB" for nothing. What a claim to fame. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This place is amazing. I came on here holding back tears and now I feel really good again. Thanks Carol.

Jen

<small>[ August 22, 2004, 12:04 AM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>

Jen, Happy Anniversary to you both darl'

Like Shania Sings :

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am truly happy for you {{{{Jen & Hubby }}}

Aw sheesh Bob, you've started the tears again.

The song that I always thought (privately because H can't stand him) was Randy Travis'
"Forever and ever, Amen". You may or may not know it.

Can't remember the words but I always thought of it as ours.

For 27 years our marriage was the envy of everyone. What a total and complete idiot I was to do something so UTTERLY stupid.

Jen

Hi Kiwi!

Congrats to you and your H!!!

I enjoy reading your posts because you offer such great insight to the new members.

I hope you and your H have a great celebration this evening... and remember: Don't let the past define who you are... go make some great memories with him tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


Semper Fi,
RIF90

Thanks RIF90.

Do you ever see any of the Kiwi peacekeepers? I think an old GF of my sons has been deployed over there. Gosh, I'm not asking if you've seen her - it's like asking someone from New York if they know such and such because they live in New York.

You guys are awesome.

Jen

Lots of Kiwi's over here... They've got a really cool patch with a blue Kiwi on it... Friendly bunch too!

Hey, again, congratulations on your 30th!!! That's so great! Hopefully I'll get to go on R&R around December and will be home for our 18th anniversary.

Semper Fi,
RIF90

Kiwi J,

COOL BEANS girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Congrats on reaching such a milestone!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

....(you 2 have me and mine beat by more then half).

It would be fantastic if you do enjoy the day and night for all its worth. So Go For It!

However, I know all about triggers and how they sometimes rear their ugly little heads (especially at times that are More Stressful).
And although an anniversary is a "good" stress ......considering the ramifications from the A, it sure can be emotional.

Just don't put too much pressure on this day. If all goes well, then that's just a bonus.
However, in reality its just another day.
Hope it goes off without a hitch, but if it doesn't DO NOT let it have any more impact on you then any other day you are living during your Recovery.

My goal for you is to have Each day be wonderful, loving, happy & connected (not just the one's usually considered "special" days).
Lets learn our lessons from the very recent past......& make all the days "special."

I know just for me, saving up all the "good" feelings and expectations for only anniversaries, birthdays or Holidays hasn't worked out too well.
Good news is NOW I Know Better!

Well, enough from me.
Your supposed to be enjoying "Your DAY" together .....NOT reading a bunch of well wishes from us here.

Go out and celebrate.......but please keep just a little bit
of this in your heart to use to "celebrate" the whole year long.
Keep that spark alive and burning & remember to warm yourselves with it each and every day.
Happy for you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
later

Congrats KiwiJ!!! I agree, go make another memory!!!

Kiwi Jenny,

Congrats to your hubby, your children, and you.

I think you were the first person I posted to to thank you for helping me reason why my 1st wife ran around on me so many years ago. I never found out, but I must assume it was an old BF from HS.

I wish you another 30+ years of loving happiness.

Two such as you with such a master speed cannot be parted nor be swept away from one another once you are agreed that life is only life forevermore together wing to wing and oar to oar. Robert Frost

Congrats to you Jen & Rob,

Cheers

Jelly

Jelly, that was really lovely.

Thanks to you all - Top Rope, RIF90, Recovering H, Bob, RAG - without all the wonderful people here, there wouldn't have been a 30th anniversary. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We had a very good night out with the family and everything was lovely.

Jen

<small>[ August 22, 2004, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: KiwiJ ]</small>

Jenny,

Just got done watching the marathon at the Olympics and some how it seems appropriate to your situation. The secret of a good race is to use the first half to sort of feel things out and see how everything is going and then you bring it home strong.

Well, Jenny 30 years is about half way, so the key is to learn from the first half and bring it home strong in the next 30 years. I know you and your H know a lot more now and most of it is really good.

Congratulations on your 30th and here's wishing you have a really great next 30 years.

God Bless You and Your H,

JL

JL, what can I say? You know your part in this. Gee, we should have a toast to you in champagne - maybe tonight LOL.

I was thinking that 30 years ago today I was getting dressed in my wedding dress and couldn't wipe the smile off the face I was so happy to be marrying him. The smile didn't disappear all day.

The next 30 years? I seriously will be on my walker by then. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Jenny

BTW I still have my wedding dress. It seems to have, ahem, shrunk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />