Brownhair,

I told him that if I was to allow him to have his fantasy that I would be lowering myself to her level. I think he wants me to partake so he will not have to feel guilty.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I feel for you. My husband asked me again for a threesome. He says he never experienced one. He then asked me about my past, like he was trying to make me feel dirty. The last two times he had relations with me he did not feel like doing the work. I had to do the work. I just feel he has an utter disrespect for me and I don't know if it will go away. Him bringing up the threesome makes me look at my bed with pain. Where I had tried to forget the fact that OW called me and told me she did my husband in my bed. Now him bringing up a desire for a threesome brings these memories back with pain. I do not know why he is tortureing me like this.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gen - You know I love you more than I love my luggage, but sweetie, your h is icking me out more and more every day!!!!!!!! He can't see how morally corrupt he is, and I fear for that kind of man being a role model to your boys! Doesn't this scare the cr@p out of you?

- Kimmy

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I feel for you. My husband asked me again for a threesome. He says he never experienced one. He then asked me about my past, like he was trying to make me feel dirty. The last two times he had relations with me he did not feel like doing the work. I had to do the work. I just feel he has an utter disrespect for me and I don't know if it will go away. Him bringing up the threesome makes me look at my bed with pain. Where I had tried to forget the fact that OW called me and told me she did my husband in my bed. Now him bringing up a desire for a threesome brings these memories back with pain. I do not know why he is tortureing me like this.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gen - You know I love you more than I love my luggage, but sweetie, your h is icking me out more and more every day!!!!!!!! He can't see how morally corrupt he is, and I fear for that kind of man being a role model to your boys! Doesn't this scare the cr@p out of you?

- Kimmy

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Genia:
<strong> Brownhair,

I told him that if I was to allow him to have his fantasy that I would be lowering myself to her level. I think he wants me to partake so he will not have to feel guilty. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep. My point exactly.
I would suggest that when your H brings it up jokingly you tell him in a serious way:
"To me, sex is something special, not something you do with just anybody."
or
"Not every woman is like that. I'm not like that."
or
"It would make me feel cheap."

State this very calmly. No crying, no blaming, just calm. Then change the subject or walk out of the room so he'll not start discussing it with you, bringing up the old pain again.

Keep responding like this. No LB's, just state how you really feel about his suggestions. If he says "Hey, I was only joking!" tell him "I wasn't."

Standing up for your feelings will make you stronger. Hopefully it will also start your H respecting you. If not, it is up to you what you decide to do with your M.

Hi Kimmy and Brown Hair,

You all are adding to my strength to leave. What did I see in him anyhow. I met him in a very low period in my life. I was very depressed an lonely. Then I think I just got attached because I have low self esteem and did not see myself doing any better. He tells me I am boring and I have come to beleive him.

Originally posted by Genia:


I thought in MB we are not to make demands.

SELFISH demands!

Pep

Ohhh!!!!!

Thanks for clearing that up. However it does not work with my husband. Pep. Thanks for trying but I can see the end near for us. I love husband and can see positive changes in him since we have been together. However, he remains a very selfish person and anytime I make demands he is quick to tell me that it is not all about me. He is narcist. He is selfish, and unless he loves me enough to want to keep me, I am fighting a losing battle.