"and it happens to be the opinion held by the majority of folk in the marriage recover field"

I had one of these 2its 2 years ago. The "measured honesty" IC. I had discovered my W's A by accident. I was so trusting it'd make your head spin how ig'rant I was of what was going on. My IC said "I usually advise my clients who have had an A but ended it on their own, not 2 tell the BS". He believed that "what they don't know won't hurt him". No jive! He was an otherwise good counselor, though, so I stuck with him for a few months. It was the "measured honesty" discussion we had (I posted my thoughts on it over 2 years ago here) that got me wondering about the wisdom of continuing with him.

The term "measured honesty" itself implies a "measure of deceit". I don't know about you, but my brain would short out and sparks would come out my ears if I tried 2 live like that for more than a handful of femtoseconds.

I told him that, yes, finding out about my W's 12-yr A (11-yrs old at the time) sure as hell hurt, but what if I'd found out about it 20 years from now??? Could I start over in my 70s? I'd sure have a hard time wanting 2 rebuild after more than 40 years of "same time next year" nonsense going on behind my family's back.

Homey don't play that. Never will.

Give me radical honesty any day.

-ol' 2long

Melody said:

"But this does not make it a valid or correct opinion. Majority opinion is irrelevent to the validity of a viewpoint. The majority of pre-WWII Germans thought that Jews were "subhuman." Did that make it true? The value of a viewpoint is based on it's OWN MERITS, not on how many people believe it."

When someone trivializes the Holocaust to prop up a vapid argument on a discussion forum the dialog is at an end.

That's a nice diversion, CN, but it doesn't help your case.

Thanks JL. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />