Thanks Woman! I will pick it up. I wouldn't leave it. She wouldn't read it anyway. Gave her His needs Her needs and she didn't touch it. She doesn't want help or to do things right. Even though she knows what is right and that is what's making her crazy. She really says she feels like she is losing it.

Familyman- he is not much competition in the long run. Trust me. It's true, as much of a jerk this guy is my wife is the one who opened herself up to him. he didn't rape her.

Cyn1018- They will have to learn the hard way won't they?

Juke, I'm going to keep chasing you around this forum suggesting you find a way to lose some of your anger until you do it.

It doesn't be released on the person/s that gave it to you. I just needs to be released. Anger turned inward is a burr on your soul and makes you depressed. Go beat the hell out of a tree or something.

GC

LOL GC. I already replied to u on page one.

"Is there something inherently inside women that craves abuse? "

What 'women?'

You're trying 2 figure out the fog, Juke.

Let it go.

-ol' 2long

Juke,

Let me see. Why did I love my H in the midst of his A? In the midst of him treating me like total garbage? In the midst of making it a point to tell me that the OW was better in bed than me (I still cringe on that one!!!!)? Answer -- I don't know. Sometimes we want what's bad for us I guess.

Just remember -- people in general always try to attain that which they don't have. They don't realize that what they're looking for is staring them smack dap in the face. Until it's too late. Most of the time, we don't know what we have until it's gone, unfortunately. Let's just pray your W never has the chance to find that out. Let's pray that she wakes up & realizes what a catch she has before you totally walk away from her for good.

In Christ's Love,
Yvette

2 Long did u see the email my WW sent me Sunday? If not here it is. I am just angry and bummed that she isn't completly fog free yet, but she is close.

i was at the house today to pick up the files and stuff. i read the best
> friend card i once gave you. and for what ist worth i am sorry, for
> everything. i wish i could go back change things, talk with you more tell
> you what i was thinking. i wish things had been different. but its gone to
> far there is no going back now, that pt of no reutern has been crossed for
> both of us.the house is almost yours we are divborced in three weeks, and
> for that i am sorry, for not trying harder to work things out.i know later
> i will wish i hadnt written this letter. but the fact is i miss our life i
> miss our friendship and that you were the only person who really knew me,
> and the only one i could be myself around.all the stupid things that
> mattered like sponge bob, rumming bull, the dogs all of it.but i did this
> to our marriage so i have to suffer the pain of still living you every day
> and wishing it hadnt gone this far. you always said i would regret my
> dession , you can pat yoyrself on the back you were right, i am sorry if
> this email bother you that is not my intent, but i just needed to let you
> know. i am sorry. and i will not send you another email like this.

Juke, I think Cymanca hit alot of it on the head.

But also remember. She doesn't really Love him, she is infatuated. A fantasy.

StandingTogether - it's weird though. Sometimes I feel like I will never totally give up on her and that's bad. I can't go on feeling that way forever. There has to be a cut-off point. What if I am with someone else and leave them for her or something down the road?

Juke it seems to me that every WS says " the OP is the opposite of you!" Like its a good thing.

My WW was obviously accustomed to my brand of lovin' after 22 years and wanted short, old , bloated,lying, used, dumb jock, wastrel, balding loving instead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Seriously, it seems the attraction of the 'different' allures some folks strongly.

So if your WS is off with a jerk, take it as a complement. I do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tom Joad- the way she put is is that he is an ******* but she cares about him. I don't know if she thinks she is in love or want to know. Oh and she is very unhappy now. the fantasy part is over.

Bob- LOL. Yeah. This guy is the complete opposite of me and not even her type at all. The thing he has going is that he is just like her father: insensative, unattractive, arrogant, vulgar, military, un-affectionate, and 100% A-hole. Her father won't even talk to her so I guess she was replacing him with another idiot. Her nasty father is probably to the root to blame for this whole mess. He really messed up her head.

Juke the fact that OM is a jerk helps me. If he was better than me in any way I'd be insecure. but he isn't.i suggest U think the same way.

Yeah bob that's true, but if he wasn't an ugly jerk she would have dumped him by now. LOL. She wants a jerk.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> i was at the house today to pick up the files and stuff. i read the best> friend card i once gave you. and for what ist worth i am sorry, for
> everything. i wish i could go back change things, talk with you more tell
> you what i was thinking. i wish things had been different. but its gone to
> far there is no going back now, that pt of no reutern has been crossed for
> both of us.the house is almost yours we are divborced in three weeks, and
> for that i am sorry, for not trying harder to work things out.i know later
> i will wish i hadnt written this letter. but the fact is i miss our life i
> miss our friendship and that you were the only person who really knew me,
> and the only one i could be myself around.all the stupid things that
> mattered like sponge bob, rumming bull, the dogs all of it.but i did this
> to our marriage so i have to suffer the pain of still living you every day
> and wishing it hadnt gone this far. you always said i would regret my
> dession , you can pat yoyrself on the back you were right, i am sorry if
> this email bother you that is not my intent, but i just needed to let you
> know. i am sorry. and i will not send you another email like this.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have you spoken to her since she wrote this e-mail? To me, it sounds like she thinks you'll never be able to forgive her or she can forgive herself for hurting you. It seems like she thinks you two cannot move past this. I believe she really misses what you two had shared & realizes she made a horrible mistake, but she's unsure if it can be corrected. So maybe she's settling for what she thinks she deserves? Just a thought.

In Christ's Love,
Yvette

I think low self esteem causes people to accept bad treatment.

<small>[ August 27, 2004, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Juke, I want your email. I want to hear some real venting from you man.

GC

ok GC here it is. juke1225@hotmail.com

StandingTogether- I had breakfast with her the next morning. I opened my heart to her and was completely non-judgemental. She knows that I will forgive and that she can come home and work on the marriage thru counseling etc. Then she was sooo close to coming home, but pulled back again and said to let the new mortgage go thru (buying the house from her). She just isn't quite fog-free yet, still living with OM, and confused. I did my ultimate best plan A and came close to total breakthru but no cigar. looks like D may be official before she comes around, if she does.