The title changed - yep, that was no. 2 on my list of ways I don't wanna go. Shiner truck YESSIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lite beer??? OMG NOOOOOOOO! Anything but that. No offense to lite beer drinkers, but why anyone would waste their time processing something that tastes like it's already been processed is beyond me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> My theory is if it ain't got a goat or a ram on the label, it ain't worth tasting!
And onto the show ladies and germs:
Alrighty now! After my talk with TGB yesterday, I decided to look around on my husbands cell phone account. Okay, men! This is a lesson: Do not let your wife set up your email account and password, then put it on your sex fone application! I swear. So I go online, type in his phone # and the last 4 digits of his social, then have them send a new password to his account. Okay, nother note: If you are too dern lazy to fill out forms at the doc's office and always ask your wife to do it, she WILL eventually remember ALL your pertinant info! I can only see the bill that's due for this month (July-Aug), but I saw enough to hang him by his huevos and beat him like a pinata should I take it to his work. There was one call to her at 2:00 in the morning at the end of July that lasted 117 minutes (from when he worked nights). I'm quite certain that the sheriff's office was not paying him for chatting with his kooze!
So I called him right before I left work - I was perky and upbeat and sunshine and light. I was so cool you could keep a side of beef in me for a month...I was so hip, I had trouble seeing over my pelvis (read the Hitchhiker's Guide series). Here is the convo:
Me: Hi darlin! I got your cell phone bill!
Him: (((dead silence))) What?!?!
Me: I got your cell phone bill.
Him: What? They finally sent it to the house?
(um, hello, I'm thinking...you know it comes up as my work on your cell display)
Me: No, they've been sending it to your work.
Him: Why would they do that?
Me: Da-doy! (said very light and airy) Because you set it up that way.
Him: I did not. What's the addy?
Me: blah, blah, blah Sherriff's Office, blah, blah, blah.
Him: Humph. That's my work. I wonder why they sent it there? I didn't set it up that way.
Me: Yes you did. You didn't want me checking the phone bill.
Him: Why would I do that?
Me: Because you don't want me to see that you talked to VD (those are her initials, no joke <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) for 117 minutes at 2:00 in the morning on such and such a date.
Him: We'll talk about it when I get home.
(not)
Me: Alrighty then, just wanted to let you know that I know. I love you, bye.
Him: I love you too.
Me: No you don't, not right now, but that's okay.
Click.
I'm sorry. Couldn't help... that last one just fell out of my mouth.
Then, I was driving home - MAN! Was I ever jazzed. It was like, HELLO! I've got control here - MY FATE IS IN MY HANDS - well, truthfully, it's in God's hands, but HEY! I'm taken care of! Well, now, who should start playing the hey-you're-a-hottie passing game with me but a very nice looking boy in a very nice, new 4x4 black, sparkly Ford pickup! (being a Chevy girl, myself, it takes A LOT for a Ford to impress me) Whee, whee, whee, all the way home! It was like, um, like getting a sign that no matter what, I'm pretty awesome and it'll be okay. When he finally turned off, he flashed his lights. (this next is said in my best ditzy blonde voice) Now does that mean he likes MY headlights???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
When I get home, I called VD. Here is THAT convo:
Me: Hi, VD. It's Kim, can I talk to you, do you have a minute?
VD: Um. I guess so.
Me: You know, and I know that Nio is having a really tough time right now, and we both also know that we have a hard time gleaning the truth out of him. (pause for a moment b/c I have to explain what gleaning means to her) Anyway, I was just wondering what your intentions with MY husband are.
VD: Weeeellll...It's over. I told him last week that I still love him and all, but I want to be alone for awhile.
Me: That's probably a good idea. You've had a tough time with guys.
VD: Yeah. And I told him that I wasn't going to hurt bf that way. He's a nice guy who says he's not going to give up on me.
Me: (very sympathetic) I understand. I can only imagine being pg TWICE, and not having someone there to support me thru it.
VD: Uh-huh. It was really hard. It's just...just...things have changed between your wh and I, and I've been feeling it for awhile.
Me: Yeah. Nio told me the same thing. Well, listen, this is what he's been telling me and the kids. He says he's staying forever. He tells the kids this, but he's acting so distant. When he behaves this way, I wonder what he's telling you because he only acts this way when he's toying with the idea of leaving.
VD: He did say that he's coming next week for the whole week, but I told him not to come. I told him I don't want him here.
Me: Humph. After telling the KIDS he's staying? Oy vey! (thinking to myself: "horse's a$$)
VD: I don't know what to do. I've been telling him I don't want him here and that I NEED to be on my own for awhile.
Me: To tell you the truth, VD, the only way to get it through to him is gonna have to be nc except in the case of an emergency with the kids.
VD: I TOLD him that.
Me: You're gonna have to be firmer.
VD: (small voice) I guess I could write him a letter.
Me: A letter would be perfect! I dunno if you know this or if Nio told you, but I've been doing A LOT of research, and ALL of it says a NC letter is a must.
VD: It's just, you know, I don't feel right about the letter, but you know, it's like if I call him...it's like he gets his thrill of me.
Me: Actually, VD, that's exactly it. Lemme tell you something that I think you've already figured out. All of what he's done, all of what he is still trying to do, is done in order for HIM not to have to hurt. He thinks since you got a bf, he has to run up there to be with you. But you and I BOTH know if I got a bf, that he'd come running back down here. He is running from the pain, and trying to keep both of us.
VD: I know.
Then we got around to talking about the kids and I told her that through all this pain their a caused and is still causing, those two babies are proof that God forgives and will send us comfort in the hard times. Then, (hehe) she said someone's calling..."it's him." I LMAO. I told her not to worry, I'd call him back.
Oh, I forgot to say that he told her he's mad at ME for not kicking him out. Which we all know is fog talk for, "I can't leave, because if I do, I'll be the bad guy still. If she kicks me out, she's the one who ended it." (snort) As if.
So we hang up and I call him:
Me: Hi babe. Trying to call VD are you?
Him: (ghastly quiet) What?
Me: You were just trying to call VD.
Him: What? What are you talking about?
Me: Sha! You were just trying to call VD, and I was on the line with her.
Him: What? I'm not supposed to call her...she is the mother of my kids. We'll talk when I get home.
Me: Um. No, honey. We'll talk about it right now.
Him: I haven't ordered yet. This is neither the time nor the place. (they were having dinner)
Me: Um. I can't say that I don't care, because I do, but have a friend place your order, then go to the restroom or outside for a moment. This won't take long.
He pauses. Orders. I'm thinking that right about now, his stomach has fallen to his cajones. (evil grin)
Him: Okay. I'm outside now. What have you been doing (very defensive)?
Me: Oh, talking to VD. Seems she's TOLD you she doesn't want you there...that she wants to be on her own for awhile.
Him: She said that?
Me: Yeah. I'm wondering why you're not taking her at her word. But anyway, are you coming home tonight?
Him: (very angry) Where else would I go?
Me: (smiling) I don't know.
Him: We'll talk when I get home.
(not)
Me: Okie-dokie. Love you, bye.
Him: click
He rolls in around 11 or so. I'd let the kids call him to say good night, but I didn't speak to him. When he got home, he saw the phone bill copy I'd made (I'd made two others that are in a safe place just in case). I know, because it was closed, and I'd left it opened. He was banging around, so I got up and went to the kitchen. He snipes at me, "What????" Which, of course is fogese for, "You destroyed my fantasy harem world, biotch." "Oh, nothing," I replied airily. Then he goes to the bedroom and begins slamming things around. I go in and he's kneeling by the dresser. I asked, "What are you doing?" I was thinking that maybe he was packing. He snorted at me, and said, "What??? I dropped something...is that friggin okay???" Which of course is fogese again for, "You destroyed my fantasy harem world, biotch." "Of course it's okay," I replied. I go to bed. He goes to bed, hugging the side again. He snorts and tosses and turns and snorts and tosses and turns. Thank goodness we DON'T have a water bed - I'd have surely hurled! I ask, "Are you going to take care of ds tomorrow?" He snorts again and snipes, "Well YEAH! What else would I be doing? Where else would I go?" Which again, is fogese for, "You destroyed my fantasy harem world, biotch." "Okay, goodnight dear," I say.
Today I got up, got dd ready, and kissed the top of his widdle head goodbye. He had the sheets pulled up with a firm grip on them. I told him bye and to have a great day with ds. Stoney silence from him.
Well, sorry for the dissertation. Comments, please? What do I do tonight? It's almost comical the comparison to FiM's dh (without the oc) my dh's reactions are.
- Kimmy, who is an avid fan of Bob Pure and FiM.
