NG,
Be careful with that XANEX my W took that and whew they have a cumulative effect...stacking is bad bad bad. I had to eventually take them from her, she was doubling and tripling those things, missed almost a week of work..can someone say high impact SEDATIVE. Okay, hope your doing well. I've never commented on your thread, but wanted to say I like your spunk and I didn't know ladies had gohannas (sp) I see why GC is over here so often, I can't help but root for you as well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

FM

FM, you talkin' about me? My ears (eyes?) are bleeding.

Speaking of xanax - I've gotta go to tuckies.

GC

FM??? Are talking about cajones? Huevos? 'Nads? I'm pretty sure I don't have any of those - they'd probaby show when I wear a miniskirt... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

DWH is here at home. Says he doesn't know if he's stayin or what he's doin...again, I refer anyone to my comment about him not being able to find his way out of his [censored] without a flashlight and a map at this point. The kooze told him she just wants to put all this behind her and wants to get on with her life. Whatever. At this point, I just wish to h-e-double-hockey-sticks that he'd decide to do something one way or the other. He was way annoyed with me when I told him I was going out of town next month and wouldn't tell him where I was going. He tried to pull, "you're the mother of my kids, and I need to know where you are just in case," crapola. I told him my parents will know where I am and not to worry his purdy head about it.

'Nother annoying (for him) thing. I took today off, took the kids to daycare (teacher workday), and wouldn't tell him why I was off or what I was doing. He kept asking and asking. Um. Nunya. When you behave as a husband should, I'll let you in on your wife's doings. Till then, nunya. He kept asking if I was going to a lawyer or what. Idiot. I finally ended up saying that I'm doing something for ME, that I need and want to do BY MYSELF. So I took MY truck into the $100 store (aka: WalMart) and got the oil changed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> I also found the CUTEST tank shirts on sale - got one that said Rockstar, another that said Hot another that said Punk forever, and a Super tank (because I'm a sucker for anything comic book - e), and lastly a West Coast Choppers baby doll T. I got the way cutest super short boxers, too. See how he likes dem apples. Nummy new lip gloss, and then I went and got a new bling for my navel. 's gotta have a new navel bling to buoy her spirits!

That's my update for today. I dunno about that man o'mine. I know I don't want the "him" he is/has been, I wonder tho if I have the patience to nurture the "him" he should be back to health.

Love and smackaroonies to you all. I hope I can plan a without joyfully choking the [censored] out of him this weekend.

- Kimmy

Wishing you all the pleasures of a choke-less weekend!!!

Sounds like you are holding your own...good job!!

Have a great weekend!!

You are so funny Kimmy, I bet you are a blast to be around IRL. Is it hot down there at the coast right now? I love the Port A area (which if I'm not mistaken is where you live). I've been going there since I was a little girl (was born not to far from there actually). I am in Austin now, 6th street is a great place to get away to and have some fun!! You must get by the Cedar Door (2nd & Brazos) and have their Mexican Martini.... MMMMM MMM good! They'll get you goin' for sure!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hope you have a great weekend!

Kimmy, you are a special girl. make no mistake. Pretty, funny, smart, loyal, faithful....gosh Nio must have blinders on.

It amazes me to se what WS throw away whenI read tales on here.... I can only imagine that BS offer so much so consitently that it fails to make deposits in $lb after a while.

You WILL be happy again, you DESERVE it.

You know it, Kimmy. You KNOW it.

{{{{kimmy}}}}

Finding - I'm going to be in Austin the 9th and the 31st of next month. Tell me Emos is still standing...tell me, tell me, tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was watching a Johnny Cash special the other day and he was out front of Emos signing autographs and I got all teary, because HEY! It was Johnny Cash - my parents still have a photo of me kissing the TV when I was 3 when he was on there singing, and Emos...you just don't forget a place like Emos - specially when they have a very cute, very bald bartender <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . D'ya know that dwh proposed just right around the corner from there....sniff (crying).

OMG! Do I ever know the Cedar Door's Mexican Martinis! I drank enough of those one night to make the world look level....even tho it didn't FEEL very level at the time, LMAO! I remember falling UP a hill to get to my boyfriend's car...how the hell do you fall UP a hill? Somehow I managed...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

D'ya know what I miss about Austin (besides just about everything)? Bats. I know. I'm too weird for words. I just loved going downtown at night and seeing them fly out of the old buildings to go on their nightly hunts. I mean, logically, I know that they eat like 4-5 times their weight in bugs every night...and I have an utter loathing of 'skeeters...so, like, they were my little furry pest controls....The 4th of July, I'd take my ZZ (oldest child) to the bridge by Express News and we'd watch the bats fly out, then the fireworks over Town Lake.

It's like, one of the best places to raise young'uns - specially if you are the least bit crunchy (granola). Is Mother's still open? OMG! The BEST vegan food EVER! Speaking of raisin' young'uns - my cousin was at the music festival there this weekend and she HAD to call to tell me about the tshirt she bought for my youngest. It says, "My mom's tattoos are cooler than your mom's tattoos!" I laughed my [censored] off. Of course, I'm gonna have to get one for all my kids now. Z was uber mad that he didn't get one. Z is my kid that when he was little and someone said, "your momma wears combat boots," he'd have shrugged and said, "So? Don't they all?" LMAO!

I've got A LOT to tell you all about the weekend, but my boss is in a pissy mood, and I've got news for him...I can out PMS the b*tchiest male ever (and without even being PMS-y), so he better not even attempt to go there! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

- Kimmy

Okay. Where to start, where to start?

I guess I could number list everything. I do better when I list stuff anyway.

1. Nio was a horse's [censored] all Friday and Saturday. I kinda figured he'd be since he *said* he and VD were fini...you know, withdrawl and all that. Took the kids to the beach Saturday and wore my 'kini. I usually wear the top with surf shorts, but I got this really cute pair of Halley Berry Bond girl bottoms (with the belt) in black and decided to wear those instead of my sufer shorts. That came around and bit me in the [censored], but that's tomorrow's story. Made the most kick [censored] kolaches for dinner. 'Stead of using regular ole smoked sausages, I used brats...omg! They were so good!

2. Yesterday morning, Nio comes in at 9 (he was on duty) - I'd just woken up, and asked him what he was doing there. So he took my hand and led me to the bedroom (which is were we always talk because we can shut the door and lock it so the kids don't barge in). He tells me he loves me but he can't do it anymore. That he would stay till he saves enough money to move out. I don't know how I didn't keep from laughing out loud. Everything he said was straight from the alien handbook. I told him that I wish he'd get some help, that he is majorly depressed and he needs AT LEAST medical attention. He ended up leaving because of a emergency rollover call (lady was pinned in her vehicle for 4 hours - he got so sunburned from being there so long with her).

3. Right after, I spoke to my oldest. He'd broken his leg the night before - skating of course. I'd laugh if it didn't KILL me that the reason my baby doesn't live with me is because I let him go live with his dad so he'd be happy. Do you all know how completely and totally BLESSED I am that my baby boy is happy? That his step mom loves him nearly as much as I do (and I say nearly as much because she didn't push that big ole head into the world without the benefit of drugs, so there is no way in hell she could ever love him AS MUCH as I do no matter what). But do you all also know that even tho I am going through the most miserable time in my life, that I wish to God my stoic, loveable, protective, insanely funny son was WITH ME? That every atom in my soul aches that I'm not there for him at the ER? How selfish am I? How much do I wish I could still curl around him like I did when he was a baby and promise to always be there and to protect him with every fibre of my being. I miss him so much, ya'll. I love him and I miss him, and I let him go to his father's so he'd be happy...and he is...he is SO happy, but it hurts...it hurts so bad...I miss him so bad. How bad do I miss the smell of his hair and the crackle of his changing voice? He's taller than me now. How can I miss all this? How did I allow myself to miss these parts of his wonderfullness...his life? God! It aches so bad.

4. (I think 4 already) Spoke to Nio again. He told me that it's not that he didn't care that Z broke his leg, b/c he does, but he had to go to help that lady. I understood, but my insides were curling up and dying.

5. Decided to paint the cheap arsed armoire that we have holding some of our videos (we have over 2 hundred videos and DVDs). I'd bought the paint over a year ago, and never got around to doing it. Okay. It was the COOLEST thing ever. I painted it with a really nummy creamy base coat. Then I painted a crackle glaze over it. Waited an hour, then painted it the most delicious shade of red - side note here, I LOVE RED! So the crackly stuff made the red look all cracked with the cream color showing through. It was too cool for school. I'd bought mexican ceramic knobs for the the thing...I love the latin colors, the reds, burnt umbers, oranges, colbalt blues and yellows. All I have to do tonight it put a top glaze on.

5. (is it 5? I've lost count) Nio'd called me back while I was painting. I flat out told him that I wasn't waiting for him to save money up. If he wants out, he gets out TONIGHT. I've waited far and long enough, imo (1.5 years is a long effing time to have your life on hold). He tried to turn it around and said yadayadayada, so you're gonna be THAT way and blah, blah, blah...whatever. I told him enough. I can't/refuse to do it anymore. Don't care if he has a place to stay, should've thought about THAT before he came home and turned my household over again. He either committed to me right then or he can pick his crap up when he got off work. He told me he'd commit.

6. Next, when I'm painting, VD called all frantic. She was practically loosing it over the phone. I finally told her, "VD, I have no idea what you're talking about. Nio told me he didn't want me to talk to you, so that's why I haven't called, I can tell you what I know, but you're gonna have to calm down and TALK to me because I've got NO idea what you're talking about right now." So she calms down, asks me why Nio'd just called her and said he was gonna take the babies away from her. Told me he'd done a background check on her new boyfriend (I knew that, he'd told me - I'd told him he better not do that if I got on with my life...of course, I'm not as stupid as VD, honestly who I see if we aren't together is none of his effing business - he knows no matter how hard he thumps his chest at ME, I know my rights as a parental unit, and that [censored] he pulls with VD don't float at MY house - ed-ju-ma-kation is the BEST defense in the face of chest thumpers, ime). She then tells me that he'd told her that I'd kicked him out last week, and he had no other place to stay. Yeah. Okay. She is getting uber pissed with him now, too. I told him her ALLOWING this bull**** and his bull**** is doing NO one any good. It's not MAKING him get on with his life, and she seems pretty miserable right now, too. I told her I love my husband, I know she's cared for him too, but her allowing this is not helping him to get well. She acknowledged that fact. I also told her, that he's MY husband, and I am the only one obligated to help him to which she also acknowledged that. She isn't answering any of his phone calls right now. He's really pissed off. I dunno - I still liken it to him behaving like a child that was told he can't play with a certain toy so he's throwing a fit.

7. He called and I told him I'd spoken to her, told him what I told her. He got very contrite and said the BIGGEST reason for him wanting to be there was because he is afraid of how the kids'll turn out if he's not. Said he's calling CPS on her next week (because of the lice). Gee. Took her breaking up with him to get pissed. Idiot. Said he knew no matter what, that my two with him would always turn out okay with me as their mom, but he seriously doubts the other two's futures with her. (gee, thanks, it's okay to walk out on me and mine b/c I've got my [censored] together?) That kinda brings me to, "Um, hello, I love those babies...I mean, I'd give my left pinkie toe to have them stay forever, but my sweet husband, don't you think you should kinda get your head well and your heart healed a little before you tackle this one?" I've missed the HELL out of both of them through this. I'd cheerfully walk through 10,000 miles of burnt gorilla [censored] barefoot if it meant for a moment that I'd get to spend another weekend with them....but our WHOLE family needs some serious healing, I think.

8. He tried to talk about a little last night, but to tell you the truth, I didn't feel like it ... I was entirely too tickled about how cool my armoire looked, and was probably pretty high on paint fumes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Oh, and about the bikini....dear daughter told dear husband that mommy wore her bikini without her surf shorts. Dear daughter also told daddy that mommy has new bling for her belly button and the new bikini bottoms showed it off nicely. Are we sure my husband hasn't been taking go-to-hell look lessons from my sister? Cause, I'm almost certain he's got it down pat...lmao. I refer you all to my aforementioned statement, "when he can act like a husband..." I'll amend it to say I'll begin wearing my surfing shorts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Poor guy called me a little while ago crying. He'd just watched a 67 year old man pass and while it was happening was attempting to console the gentleman's wife. He told me he didn't know if he could do his job anymore, but it's all he knows how to do....my heart was breaking for him. I told him again that he doesn't have to tell the doc the whys of his depression, he just needs to go in and say he's having a bit of trouble coping right now. I told him I won't go in with him if he doesn't want - what is said between him and the doc is their biz, not mine, not unless he wants to include me....but he has to take that step...I can't make him do it. Told him I'm here for him. I love him dearly whether he thinks he deserves me or not....and I'd fix all of this if I could, but he's got to be the one to take the steps.

My poor darling husband. I wish he could wrap his brain around the fact that to fail is to be human...and NOTHING he's done has ever not been forgivable or fixable.

Please, dear God, speak to his heart. Hold him safe and close to You. He feels no matter what that he deserves neither of us. I know, dear God, though that You in Your wisdom knew he'd need someone exactly like me to lean on and guide him to You. Use me God. I give myself to you. Help me find the words and actions to be a lighthouse for my dear, darling man.

Hi Kimmy. Sheesh, sorry for this roiling boil of insanity.

Now that I have the use of my garage again, I'm going to start working on the kayak I started building years ago.

Sounds like you knew what you were doing with that paint job! Wish you could come over and help me figure out what to do with the back bedrooms in my bungalow.

Is slut red the same as arrest-me red?

GC

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Is slut red the same as arrest-me red?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Probably. But isn't slut red a helluvalot more fun to say?

Finish your kayak. My dad would love you for it! He just bought one.

As for your back rooms - WORLD MARKET! Best place in the entire universe! I think you northerners have something similar called Trader Joes...or something like that. Oh, if you get a chance - MEXICO. Just across the Tex border. You'll get stuff for a STEAL!

And HELLO GC!!!!!!!!!!! I mention Johnny Cash, and get NOTHING FROM YOU???????

And I thought you were uber cool.

(snobby sniff) You MUST be down not to comment on my love of the Man in Black. (sniff) I'm seriously thinking of framing that photo...

It looks like Emo's is still around http://www.emosaustin.com/

I don't go downtown to hang out as much as I used to. You pretty much have to go a lot in order to know what's cool! lol

I love Austin too, great place to raise kiddos.

Thanks Finding! (sniff) I loved Emos. Ah - the memories....

Just called Mom and asked for that photo of me and tv Johnny. She then reminded me of the time I sang Shotgun Willie Sits Around in His Underwear (Willie Nelson) for my Sunday school class.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and asked me if I wanted the photo of me sitting on the lou with a Pabst can in my hand...lmao. My 'rents had the most warped sense of humor....I wonder why I'm so effing normal???

SSDD (same [censored] different day)

I think I uber screwed up a little while ago, tho. Last night Nio got a call from the SO saying he forgot to sign a warrent, and they couldn't issue it w/out his signature. So he goes to the SO to sign it. I didn't think anything about it at the time - tell you the truth, I was already almost asleep, and the kids were in bed. No big. He comes home and goes to bed.

I get up at about 2 am to - well, you know, I'm 36, so you know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> My youngest (4) comes in the bathroom and asks if daddy was home. I told him, "of course, sweetie." I put the boy to bed and laid down with him for a minute. Then I go to bed. No big, right?

Well, awhile ago dwh called and I told him about ds and what he'd said - not even trying to pull guilt strings or anything...I just thought ds had heard daddy leave the night before...really, I didn't even think anything about it. DWH EXPLODED at me, "Why do you tell me these things...what are you trying to do to me???" I almost tripped over my words I tried to apologize so fast...but really, I wasn't THINKING about that....I feel bad for him feeling bad, but it wasn't my intention...ug, ug, ug.

He got really quiet after that, barely said anything for the rest of 5 min then told me he had to go. I said, "Okay, honey, but you know, you're gonna have to give me some boundries here...I really didn't mean to make you feel bad whether you believe it or not."

[censored]. What did I do? Is he gonna be there when I get home....UG! Is this worth it?

NG-

I think stuff like this is bound to happen, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. For me, sensitivity is way up! I get frustrated at even the hint of a perception of implied misdoing.

I’ve LB’d my W over stupid crap like this, thinking I had to defend myself from charges that weren’t even made. And yes, I’ve been called an Idiot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I don’t know if it’s the same for NIO or not, but you should consider the possibility. If he has decided (or is deciding) to work on your M he probably doesn’t to feel undermined before he even gets started…

Keep talking to him. I hear that if you can get a man to share his feelings your fight is halfway over! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

{{{{{ng}}}}}

With every Purchase of a WS, get a free bottle of Defense.

Sprinkle it any where near your WS, it will take effect.

This will cause your WS to overreact to absolutely everything you say. We will guarantee and irrational outburst almost every time you, look at, speak to, touch, or breathe near your WS.

The bottle is self refillable, and self applicably.

To make sure the Defense is working, just simple ask a Q,

How was your day?

#$@!$!$!#%

Or make a statement.

DS asked if daddy was home.

!#$!#@%!#%

Yes, this bottle of Defense is sure to work for you.

CALL now 1-800-MFWS
If you place an order within the next 7 years we will ship not only the bottle of Defense, but a bottle of your choice of LYBNILWY, or FOGTALK.

Enjoy your new WS, may he/she cause you heart ache that is never ending.

Hi Kimmy,

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know this is hard. I hope it gets better for you soon. If you get a chance sometime I'd like to hear from you. I miss you.

Hey Gen. I'm so sorry I'm such a piss poor friend right now. I just...I dunno....Sometimes the words won't come to me anymore...I do support you in whatever decision you make regarding your dwh, it's just that I've got no advice...just love and best wishes...is that okay...I mean...I'm usually so opinionated and indignant for everyone....and right now I feel like I've been blowing chunks in the friendship category just because I don't know my [censored] from a hole in the ground.

Just another shameful confession about me...I might be a smartass from a long line of smartasses, but when something really and truly bothers me, it affects me in a not so pretty physical way. I itch. Really, and quit your laughing! It's not funny. It's usually the back of my hands and my scalp, but I've...I dunno...conditioned myself as I've gotten older not to scratch the back of my hands so people won't know. I remember one Christmas a few years ago I scratched my head bloody because my aunt's freaky horn dawg bil was there and he was wayyyyy too drunk for words. Well, today my scalp is itching so bad I can hardly stand it.

Don't you DARE say the word "bugwuggies" either! That would super-d-duper freak my monkey out right now.

Hi Kimmy,

You will be alright. Maybe some head and shoulders would help. I feel tons better since you responded. I am always afraid everybody will abandon me when I do something stupid. I seen psychologist and she said I got too much stress to function well on any job. I think I will be alright. I like being independent and don't like to be controlled so I call him on it when he tries to control me. I wish I had a super spatula to scrape you up right now, but you still got some humor left. I am feeling for you. I think you are way too smart and pretty to be going through all this and I am too. Mine is mostly just taking me for granted right now and I am telling him what he is doing. I am not sure if you read my posts but that is OK, I understand. Oh and by the way, I wish you could see my picture if I could figure out how to get it on here. My scanner is so hard to figure out. I had a hard time loading my daughters picture to make Missing Person Flyer. BTW she is still hiding from us. I do not know who the cell phone belongs to that she used to call us. That was a week and a half ago. We have not heard from her since. I will pray for you. And for Nio that he will wake the xxxx up.

Oh, Kimmy, I started a reply about Johnny, then got called away and didn't get it posted.

The truth is, if I found a girl who had a photo of herself kissing Johnny on the TV as a child, well, shoot, I'd consider that a damned good sign at least. You've gotta get that baby framed, sister.

You're not making the sparrow look too good here... her big pop star crush was on "The Captain", as in "The Captain and Tennille".

Ike and Tina have been glued to my turntable for a bit, but tonight, in your honor, I'm going to put on "Johnny Cash and His Hot & Blue Guitar".

GC