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Now add her response:
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Some things it is not appropriate for the boys to know. They are to think that their parents are good people. Maybe people who make mistakes, but nothing less than good people.
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my response:
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I have never suggested to them that you are less than a good person. I "covered" things for you early on in this ordeal, I don't feel like I should have to do that so much anymore. What did I ever do to make you not trust me?
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her response:
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Well, I disagree. I believe that you have painted a bad picture of me to them. You might want to go back and revisit that with them.
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my response:
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I don't see how being honest with them when they ask questions is painting a bad picture of you. I answer their questions honestly if they ask about you or me. What did I ever do to make you not trust me?
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her reponse:
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I initiated this conversation to offer an apology.
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my response:
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And I told you what I need to be able to accept your apology. After being together for 22 years, best friends, 17 years as husband and wife, good times and bad I don't think honesty is too much to ask. When you can do that, I can accept your appology. I'm ready when you are.
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Next?
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Wow! That's all I can say. This is like watching a soap opera!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Things are *good* with me. Kinda the same as before...I'll get into that another time though. Not in the mood now... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Boy, that's not quite what I was thinking of when i said you had something for her deep down...!!! Definitely made me crack up though!!! You're crazy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Glad things are good for you fhl04.
The soap is continuing. Lost Husband and WishIWereHome responded on the Divorced/ Divorcing thread and pointed out some errors I made. I have acouple of emails from her and responses that aren't on here yet and one I haven't responded to yet. I'm asking Lost Husband for his advice before I do! He and I don't see eye to eye on everything but I believe he has everyones best interest at heart and a different perspective helps sometimes.
I am not crazy. Yes you are. No I'm not. Yes you are....... Oh, crap. He's back again.
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Actually, things are not so good for me tonight... Not sure I want to talk about it on here though, which kinda stinks. It's one of those times you feel like you just have no one to go to, and actually that is a big part of the problem. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Wow, that made absolutely no sense to anyone but me, I am sure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Oh well...
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fhl04,
Sorry to hear that. I hope you were able to get some sleep. It may not be crystal clear but I have my suspicions about what you are talking about. Feel like talking now?
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thanks, dj. Yeah I got through last night pretty well, did get some sleep. But I was so tired this morning I fell asleep in my yoga class!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I guess to boil it down, I wonder if some of my decisions aren't coming back to haunt me...seems lately I've gone from being super happy to being really concerned about what the future holds. I am in an extremely difficult position, and I just don't know up from down right now... Uggh, just can't talk about it on a public forum for more than one reason... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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Okay, don't have to if you don't feel like it. I am [censored]-u-ming that you refer to that issue we sort of have in common that gets people stirred up here. Let me fill you in one that came back to nip at me a little. My DS1, he will be 10 in less than 3 weeks, asked a question that a 10 year old shouldn't know about me and my "OW" and me being me answered honestly. I have been advised that if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know. Well it didn't go over very well. But, he would have known the truth sooner or later anyway and I think it would be better to tell it now and get on with damage repair than let him find out in 10 years and try to fix that. Other than getting 2X4ed here some, and I can take that, this has been the only downside to my "A". Since you have DDs, you might have a small storm in the future. Just a thought, I ain't no weatherman. My thoughts and prayers are with you on finding up from down.
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"Okay, don't have to if you don't feel like it." No, it's not that at all, just not sure a public forum is the best place for it. Our situations are a litle different in that, if I remember correctly, you had a brief fling type of thing right? Mine is much, much more than that. And that's where it gets complicated. If I told the whole story - the whloe story of what has happened in the last 6 months since the separation, you would probably not even believe it. There is no possible way I can tell that story here. In a way, I wish I could. It would feel good to get it all out there. But if I did that I could really hurt some people. I am going through some stuff internally right now that I haven't shared with ANYONE because everyone is too close (know what I mean, does that make sense?). That's a tough place to be in... Crystal clear, I know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
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Actually it is pretty clear. Talking helps me. I am prone to tell my story to people I barely know. Probably leave many thinking- blabbering idiot.
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Yeah, talking does help - and that's something I haven't been able to do much of concerning some things, and it makes me feel like I could just explode sometimes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
Sorry for hi-jacking your thread, I'll stop now.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by deafjeff: <strong> Probably leave many thinking- blabbering idiot. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jeff I had no idea you were a mind reader <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> All seriousness aside, talking out our thoughts and feelings is very healthy. Faith, you seem to have a desire to share feel free to e-mail me if you'd like to get "safely" get some things off your chest. bill@salinaplaningmill.com
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Thanks, LostHusband, I appreciate that. I feel like it would take 2 days straight to type out eveything... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Plus, I don't know, I feel like sharing it with you would be like talking to my pastor...or my dad. Just Kidding! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'll definitely add your e-mail address to my contacts. You never know when I might get brave... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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LH and DJ-- Oh, oh, oh!!! I just had the BEST idea for a REALLY fun time!!! We could set up a group chat between the 3 of us. I could tell my problems and let you two give me your advice! Oh, nevermind, the computer might EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Alright, time for an update - did you e-mail her and did she reply?
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fhl04,
I have tried to post several times and it hasn't been working. Apparently there is a screw loose between my keyboard and chair. I just wanted to tell you that you may email me if you wish. LH has my address and I wouldn't mind if he sent it to you. He has really helped me a lot and I listen to him even if it doesn't show. I would think the 3 way chat would be awfully boring. LH and I are so close on perspective that anything I said after him would just be same song second verse. Skys are clear here, I'm not worried about being struck by lightening.
Update? Not much to tell. This is where we left off yesterday:
WxW:
I apologize for my part of letting things go.
Me:
Okay. Just so we are on the same page and communicating clearly and because I can interpret that several different ways, what do you mean "letting things go"?
And this is the extent of it today:
WxW:
I apologize for my part of the marriage not working.
Me:
Let me know when you can talk to me. I will do whatever I can to make you as comfortable with that as possible.
I don't expect to hear anymore from her on this. She has now apologized and absolved herself of 11 years of betrayal and lies with that one short general sentence. I didn't accept or or tell her I appreciated her apology because I don't. I didn't tell her to eat $h!t and die like I wanted to either. And I didn't help my cause any, I know, I know, I know......... bull headed dumb@$$..........
LH,
Please give fhl04 my email address if she wants it. I'll take the hypocratic oath before responding- First do no harm..............
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Laughing, as usual, after reading your post. I am also laughing on the inside at the irony of having both you and LH offer to listen and advise. You guys are hilarious. I bet if you met in "real" life, you'd end up being inseparable best friends. I don't see LH on here tonight, so how about this, here's my e-mail: roseandgrace@hotmail.com Now you can send me your address, and now LH has it too, and maybe he'll e-mail me because he knows I'm too chicken to talk to him w/out some prodding. haha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
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