How long will it take for the D to go through in your state?

6 months from the date of filing

geez and the dreams keep coming.....last night I had a dream that made me so happy but waking up to find it was only a dream....it made me cry...I dreamt it was christmas and WH came home and we both were crying and he said he wanted to come home and then he kissed me....his lips felt so real.....anyone else had dreams like these?

Believer you out there tonight? sorry i didn't respond last night...had to help DS....he was restless

Yep, still here. I know how it is with a little one, and figured you were doing the mom thing.

I used to dream about WH, but gave that up as unproductive. Now I dream about other men. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Well i just got back from a 4 hour ER trip...went in and DS temp was 102.1...he developed hives this AM too.....so I called WH get his voice mail leave him a message that we are headed to the hospital....get to the hospital....call again DS temp rose to 103.4...get admited and have to watch and help hold down struggling DS who is screaming and scared while they get blood.....and watch him in Xray as they put him into a weird contraption and poor baby is panicking.....soooo I call the bars....his ex gets the message and calls him....he finally calls me 4 hours after we went to the hospital...gives me some BS line that his phone wasn't working.....but he was in our area....whatever.....I was Livid.....I know where he was....with OW...it's great how that B*&%$ is more importnat than his son....so I say are you coming here he says ok....sooooo...5 seconds later they discharge DS....so we wait...he shows up and treats it as nothing...I tell him Ds has early pneumonia...he looks slightly worried then he shrugs it off....I was soooo steaming and giving him the cold shoulder....HOW DARE HE be so uncaring toward our son...doing that to me I can handle but not our son.....then I ask him if he can take him to the doctors tommarrow so i can make the extra money we need....he says I have stuff to do...like get an Apartment....WTF.....-_- I realllly need a punching bag right now

Update: well he got online after I posted and we had a nice conversation....I told him I was sorry for being angry but seeing DS in such distress put me in a bad mood.....he said it was OK he understood and he was angry at his phone and he sat in the McDonalds parking lot trying to get a signal (why he couldn't have driven around I don't know)....but we had a good conversation I flirted some and he reciprocated a wee bit....

<small>[ September 20, 2004, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: missinghimterribly ]</small>

well I went to the movies today with a friend....WH babysat DS.....needless to say he was curious when i got home...he asked me what i saw and i told him....he asked me how i liked it and I said it was good......that was about it....I then went to go get food...and came back then he left.....he's been a lot warmer lately tho......could he be turning around a bit?

*sigh* ok sooo the bad news keeps coming.....found out today my divorce paper work was done wrong.....*sigh* so now we have to re file.....OMG I so hate the legal system right now....edit that...I hate this sham of a divorce....it shouldn't even be happening

Wee...eee...eee..eeellll
Yesterday wasn't fun.....DAY 30 WH didn't know about the refiling yet...but he tried to have his brother serve me his response.....at my work....I made sure not to serve him in front of his co-workers....It brought back a flood of memories and issues I hadn't delt with....and i couldn't take it...I was also in the middle of a procedure and couldn't leave..I couldn't go up front to accept the papers....he was ticked....because he didn't get to file that day by 4pm....he was mean on the phone....I told him to call my para legal.....and he would take the papers and get them to me......and then at the same time the paralegal will serve him with the newly filed and amended papers....which he keeps asking me what was changed and I just don't want to tell him on the advice of my counselor......This morning tho was weird....I called to ask him why his borther called my father who is very sickly....he didn't know...but then his cell phone cut out....well he called back....and we had a normal conversation just like we used to while he chatted with me while lying in bed where he was....then he came over tonight for visitation...extremely nice.....we had great conversations....he offered to go grocery shopping for me *jaw drop*.....he seemed more open and a tiny bit flirty........and the hug good night.... seemed very "personal"....this man is conflicted on what he wants...but if things are at least getting more comfortable I am happy....right now I love him so much

Sounds like the plan A may be coming into affect... maybe, if the general trend over the past month or two is that he is slowly getting more friendly and comfortable with you, you have reason for hope. He sounded very paranoid before - maybe he just has such trust issues that it takes him a long time to feel safe. Holding on to OW until he feels safe may be like his insurance policy - at least as he sees it. Not sure, but it seems positive.

*snort* well this morning instead of my husband giving the papers to my para legal....he sent them certified to my work after I asked him not to because it ruins my concentration....and the paper work is WRONG....not only that he put down that his best friend sent them when his writing is on the envelope he checked there are no assets to be divided...and he asked for joint custody....and he has no place to live....he put down that we seperated july 4th...we were living together then and the next day was my birthday and we were "together"....so how could we be seperated...just because he took his rings off....so was he being really sincere last night and this morning....I wonder....because he sent them yesterday....and my paralegal it a bit ticked because he was making it easier for him....I didn't let him know I got the papers tho...I have remained cheerful and bright.....

<small>[ September 23, 2004, 09:13 PM: Message edited by: missinghimterribly ]</small>

Ok maybe I am being paranoid but let me know what you guys think? Why would my husband who has asked me in the past to do things on my own....suddenly tell me he would go grocery shopping and put it on his credit card.....I have been told right now till he comes home and says I want to work it out.....not to trust him as far as I can throw him.....could he have a hidden agenda in asking this?

anyone at all.....also I got a new friend today....her name is scout and besides liking my cats more than they like her....she is great and loves my son....those two bonded today....i feel safer with her around

I think he is probably very confused and in pain. He probably doesn't know what he wants. I am guessing that it doesn't necessarily matter right now what he is thinking, and it doesn't help you to focus on it... Its better to focus on your own behaviour. If you can keep your spirits up, be patient and avoid LBing, maybe he will slowly feel more comfortable and safe with you. Then he might be able to think more clearly about what he stands to lose, because of his hurt feelings or his pride. Not to diminish that - but those feelings don't last forever.
You can try Plan Aing for your sake, as much as for his, because you want to lay the groundwork for the future of your relationship, and hopefully that will be based on MB principles.

I have been plan Aing my but off but I just don't know if I can trust him....I'm affraid that if I let him do something like that he could use it against me in court or something......I have offered him to actually spend time with us again on the weekend and again he is too busy....earlier he said he had alot of things to do....well his mistress was online she got offline and 20 min later he was like i got to go....got stuff to do today...i just don't know if I can trust him to do these things he wan't to do or if I let him do it it will come back to haunt me later...

I'm glad you're talking to him and inviting him to spend time with you. Thats great. But be careful about being too suspicious of his motives if he offers to go shopping etc for you. Trust has to start with one of you.

well I know why he never has time to spend with us....he told me tonight he spends more time with OW than he even does with DS....he had the nerve to say that he should be able to take DS (whose 1 yr old) for a week (he is living on someone elses couch) and he should be able to decide who is around him (IE OW).....and I got a look at her AOL profile...she keeps saying how he's her man and how she's his personal ASSisstant....yeah thats more emotionally mature.....to post that on a public profile......and he said I was emotionally immature...oh and her name is Angel....no wonder he keeps rationalizing that god sent her homewrecking A$$ to him....how can she say she is a good church going girl when she is STEALING someone elses husband....

<small>[ September 27, 2004, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: missinghimterribly ]</small>

Someone please smack me with a 2x4 I think PMS is setting in and I am becoming all emotional.....