IvyIvy,
Well, I have done what you are thinking of...

Its definitely about how badly we feel about ourselves. I have to admit that is sad and doesn't say much for me. But in my case, it has helped me to see myself more realistically. I was convinced I was the uglest, most disgusting unworthy person on earth. At least I have now realized that with all my faults, I'm still attractive (to someone).

I have posted on here about my affair (see my profile if you want) and I was definitely whacked by 2x4s. I have to say I was hoping for a little understanding...at least from the woman. Not to ask for approval but at least an understanding.


However, it was a big mistake. Now, I feel like I'm hurting the OM. My husband is actually ok with it because I think he was concerned that I would do something even more stupid. At least I'm not laying in bed crying all day.

Everytime I think of 6 years of sex with other women I practically run to the OM. The hurt is so deep and I do not understand. Especially when he says he loved me. My head thinks one thing but my heart is crushed.

P.s.

NO NEED TO BRING OUT THE 2x4s. Its wrong and I admit it. It doesn't make anything better. Avoid doing it at all costs.

P.s.

NO NEED TO BRING OUT THE 2x4s. Its wrong and I admit it. It doesn't make anything better. Avoid doing it at all costs.

i guess if your question is how do I as a BS deal w/this or avoid it?

well i pray continuously to be kept pure in my M and to be guarded against satan's attacks and my own vulnerabilities. i also keep reminding myself that i will take the high road and not lower myself to the place where my H is at by doing the same thing he did even if it didn't occur in the same manner.

of course as many others, i had terrible self-esteem issues, i had it before dday which is why we had some of the issues we had in our M (i felt unattractive due to my weight so i used that to push away my H and of course then his needs weren't being met, etc.) but now that i have lost almost 50lbs and know that other men do think i'm pretty my self-esteem is pretty much stable now.

bottom line-don't do it because it is not in God's will for anyone to do that and if we did we would be just as bad as our WS. God Bless, RR