</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> I think your posts are helpful and full of insight!

I think you ROCK!

Pep </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pep- I can assure you that the feelings are totally mutual!!!!!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by weaver:
<strong> I totally agree.

That should be our MB infidelity board motto! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I VERY MUCH AGREE!!!!!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jph:
<strong> My reaction varies...

At other times I think to myself, well how is that bed you made? Not so comfortable is it?

The media too often glamorizes adultery. The truth of the horrors need to be told. help so </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not comfortable at all...and I totally agree- the media DOES glamorize adultery when it causes such extreme misery...........I listened to one of my favorite books again recently on tape, and realized how much of the plot was taken up in showing how the main characters adultery was WONDERFUL....Honestly, I hadn't really processed what the book was suggesting until I started reading this book regularly. Sad.....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by weaver:
<strong>
Sadfww - glad to hear your marriage is in a good place, and that you are in a good place. You are a great asset to this site, and I for one am glad you found your way here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you Weaver...you know, your name is so apt-your posts always make me think that you truly ARE weaving lost and grieving bits of humanity together. God bless you!

Sad,

You want my honest answer?? If it were not for the WS on this site I would not have ever posted to start with and I would NOT be on this board today. It really is that simple. There is no way to address the things that need to be addressed without both parts of the equation.

I think the WS's here are what make this site special and successful. It is not a matter to "tolerating" them. It is a matter of NEEDING them here desperately to add insight, the other point of view, and to allow "both sides" to see what each is going through. Without that, I think this site would be nothing more than just people uttering useless "now now's" and "what a miserable so and so he/she is dump them".

You see until the BS can realize the WS is hurting as well and dealing with the fallout of issues as well as the BS, they really don't often develop the perspective they need to heal well.

Just my thoughts on the matter, but I am certain I would no longer post if the WS were not here. Although there is at least one WS right now who probably wishes I would go away. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .

Must go.

JL

PS: It is not a necessary as you think to post that you are a FWW or a BS. My experience is that people will listen to you once they realize you are trying to help them.

<small>[ October 10, 2004, 11:16 PM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

I have been helped immeasurably by the posts of truly repentant and reconstructed WS on here at least as much as by the 'wise head' BS advice.

Without Jen, KY, LINY and others I would not have ever known that obsession with OP almost always fades, and that a happy M is truly achievable after infidelity. Without their stories, MB is just words IMO.

I have trouble with unrepentant WS postings as my spirit screams out in empathy with their BS.

But they can still be a useful insight into the workings of a WS mind.

I pray for the day that the labels drop off my FWW and myself, but that day is far away right now.

* Pep, I know what you mean about bleating and fearful BS, but its not been so very long that I was one of them copping a 2x4 or two from you ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Its still fresh with me and I remember how truly fearful I was. If only we could be granted post-plan A strength BEFORE we do Plan A huh ? Its like we have to be at our very strongest and most courageous when we are at our very weakest and most vulnerable. It really is a heroes Gig, getting up off your @ss after d-day.