Gray -

I know precisely what you mean. It's an odd sensation, isn't it? For me, it was freedom that I never wanted. There was pain -- and also relief. There was anger and happiness. So much all wrapped into such a complicated package that I couldn't hope to separate them out.

Let the knot unwork itself. It'll get there. And in the meantime, keep holding your head between your warm hands.

People here are so helpful. The help is right on too.


Everyone have a good time, and don't let 2long set you on fire.

See you when I get back (work this time, not vacation.)

SS shoulders pack, disappears down the trail.

GC, ohhhh, i see what you are saying. i can be slow sometimes!! that is a good idea.

B, regarding healthy self-soothing: historically, not very good. ok, pretty much zip, zelch and zero.

however i did have some rather unhealthy habits i tried to use for self-soothing.

i have never used alcohol or drugs to soothe myself, at least i got that going for me.

i have tried to get hooked on cigs many times, however, between my own dislike of it and my kids bugging me when they find out, i've completely left that one behind.

eating was (sometimes still is) a big one. and that is certainly not healthy.

but chatting on the internet was my biggest problem. MANY nights were spent staying up, litterally all night (until the birds started chirping), chatting. i even told that to one of the people that worked in mental health day program that i was in back in early 2001. when they asked me how i was coping with stress, i told chatting online.

i was told that was not a very healthy choice and to try reading or doing some sort of craft (i told them i liked crafts). obviously i did not take their suggestion <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

funny thing is, i really thought, back then, that online chatting was good for me, it certainly helped relieve my lonlieness. ok, so i knew i was a bit addicted, but still i was so happy to have some outlet. little did in know just how messed up that habit was going to get me.

healthy self-soothing is something i have talked about with my IC. so now i have some... listening to christian music is a very big one. FF sent me some very good scriptures to read today and that helped immensly (thanks again FF!!) along with prayer.

if i were at home, reading, or soaking in a tub with candles is very nice. if i have access to H, playing a game of backgammon with him calms me down.

although i don't do it enough, jogging or even fast walking is very calming for me, so is bike riding and i do that in conjunction with getting myself to work now everyday and i'm really liking that.

i need to keep at it, keep expanding my options. but more importantly, i need to know learn to use these options at times when i am feeling panicy or upset. what good is having some healthy options if i don't use them!!!

bye SS!!! i don't know where you are going exactly and how long you will be gone but stay safe.

FL -

Please learn to soothe yourself. For years I was never able to do it. You need to take care of YOU. After D-day, I promised myself that I would do it.

It is about putting yourself near the top of your list. Different people may do it different ways. I don't know what will work for you. However I have figured out lots of things to do to take care of me.

For example, I am a work-aholic. I never used to take time off from work, for ANYTHING. Nowdays, I call in sick when I feel like it, and not always when I am sick.

I redid my bedroom - in PURPLE, or eggplant as some would say. I even have a mosquito net.

I also ask people for help a lot, which I never used to do. I'm tired of taking the ball and running with it - let someone else make the touchdown.

Ummm......... I also have been getting manicures and pedicures. I bought a pair of F-me high heels that cost (hold your breath) $400.

"high heels that cost (hold your breath) $400."

Now it's my turn to say *ouch*.

To what does one wear $400 f me pumps, anyway?


???

Aph, my take was they are to make B feel good! I think you have to be a woman to get that one. Am I right, B?

Hey. You got it FF. Of course Aph doesn't understand that one.

By the way, I am very conservative, and hardly ever spend money on me. I don't eat out, always cook at home. Don't go out too much.

I wear the $400. pumps to work. And you know what? The men ALL notice. Who would think that men would notice shoes?

The point is, I will continue to take care of me.

Someone once told me first impressions are very important. No one ever really forgets their first impression of someone.

And he said the first thing men generally notice about anyone they meet for the first time are hair and shoes.

OTOH, the first thing I noticed about Believer was the hog she was sitting on. Now that’s a first impression. lol.

Aph, I think DKM's sitch is right up your alley, can you give him a hand?

Hey you guys!

Since we're not supposed 2 ALWAYS be serious around the campfire, I'll point this out here:

The word "aphelion" (fartherst point from the sun in an orbit) is the opposite of "perihelion" (closest point 2 the sun in an orbit), with the suffix being "helios" - the sun. Thus the pronunciation is "App HEE lee un" not "Aff EE lee un", like "Perry HEE lee un"...

...which is why I call my buddy "Appy" so often! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

...and of course, NOW I'm going 2 get my beautox pounced all OVER for my "2s"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Back 2 you!
-ol' 2long (runs in2 the dark woods, after dazzling the crowd by tossing more O2 on the fire)

Ok, I will call him Ap instead of aph. Thanks for the correction, 2L. Thought of you when I heard my windows rattle from the space shuttle landing.

Hey! What's with the blow torch and run? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, I love riding a Harley. But I also love my $400. F-me pumps.

And for those of you who think $400. shoes are too expensive, and a waste, you ought to buy a pair.

believer:

"And for those of you who think $400. shoes are too expensive, and a waste, you ought to buy a pair."

Wouldn't that be $800, then?

"They were walking along, four abreast (That's 2 deep)" -Benny Hill.

-ol' 2long

2-long - Bwaahhaaa! No, only $400. a pair. But worth every penny.

Ahhh. Now I get it. You ride your Harley in your F me pumps. That's what they are for!

I can just see you in Sturgis now. (I’ll be there with my $67 boots on.)

2long, you’re getting weird(er) from breathing too much pure O2.

Ap-hee-lee-un.

Geez, I never cared before.


I have to pick up DS from his paintball game. Watch out for flying pain, I mean paint, balls. Those kids shoot towards the light and at anything that moves.

Aphelion -

No you have it all wrong. When riding a Harley, there is a certain dress code. It does not include $400. pumps.

I have been to Sturgis 3 times, the Laughlin River Run for 15 years, Daytona, and most of the bike events in the country.

On a Harley, it is necessary for the female to dress in black. Leather is good. I have leather chaps, jacket, boots. Then a t-shirt is good. Mine says "show me your Harley".

But F-me pumps? No, that would not do. Too sleazy.

Geez, one little divorce and your MB thread turns into an amusement park.

GC

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Speaking of that, I have a case of beer around here somewhere, if 2long didn't run off with it...

Gray - and exactly what is wrong with an amusement park?