We are having 'Guglhupf'. *googlehoof* (Austrian Cake)

Weaver; I will hide a saw in it and send you some...;)

ps: all is well here

I think I'm wanting to leave town because this is ALL that I've been hearing in my head....

"I found out long ago

It's a long way down the Holiday Road!

Holiday Rooooooooooooad

Holiday Rooooooooooooad.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, oooohhhhh

Take a ride on a West Coast kick, oooohhhhh

Holiday Rooooooooooooad

Holiday Rooooooooooooad."

WALLY WORLD ANYONE??????

SAR2

GC,

I've not been paying attention much to MB lately. I'm sorry I missed this.

I don't know what to say. I really don't.

-AD

Weaver,

I skimmed - trying to catch up - saw you had a scare.

I'm too tar'ed to lecture. Glad you're OK.

-AD

AD - thanks. It wasn't so horrible, but I'm feeling it a little now. My life is starting to hint at moving forward, and something in me wants to stay back there. Woke up with tears this morning. Crappy sparrow dreams.

But mostly I'm good.

GC

Weaver,

I'm late to the after-party, and just read about you being in jail.

Please, please find a very good DWI attorney and get advice 1st. What you do in court on Tuesday could have a life long effect.

I can't imagine how horrible it was to be in jail; but I am glad the young girl had someone like you to be there with her.

I had to bail my xH out of jail in the middle of the night once...long story and I won't bore you with the details - but having the right attorney made all the difference in the world to his consequence - but he still lost his drivers license for 6 months as a result.

I believe his was a felony DWI, because there was reckless driving attached to it as well. But please take an experienced attorney with you to court. It would have been far worse for my xH had he not.

Wake up evey buddy!

"He says "well I got me two changes of BVD's. I got me my guitar. I got me my address book, a... pair of socks, 4 masked marvel comic books, a tennis racquet and four hundred n' ninety-seven n' a half feet o' rope.""

-Jamie Brockett "Legend of the USS Titanic"


-ol' 2long

Cain't sleep (GC's curse). Pondering a sleep aid.

So 2long, didjya see any meteors this summer?

GC

Awake here.(...baked, but awake...)

Did you watch the shower the other night, 2long? A bunch of us laid out in the middle of the meadow to see. We had the northern lights with it. It was pretty.

Heard this just now ;

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

Chorus:
I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby, it's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

(Repeat chorus)

I don't mean to drag it on,
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

(Repeat chorus)

...Incomplete

Backstreet Boys

Hi GC.

Have you tried camomille tea?

I am playing house mother to a bunch of college students for the next two weeks.

One of them ( drunk) is outside the back door puking as we speak.

Not an auspicious start...


My husband. Where to start. He is broke and he has no money for gas to get to work. Ow told him that if he doesn't 'perform' he doesn't get to 'reap the rewards'...

(She has been plying him with money etc these past two years.) She is mad at him b/c he hasn't been paying attention to her. (no sex, no visits)

He could be staying with her, but he won't. Tonight I told him maybe it would be better if he moved in with her, but he said he will figure something else out. That if he stays with her he has to have sex with her.

He and I are finally getting to be on a 'friends' basis I guess. He is being quite open.

Its weird.

Shul,

That was too funny, about the saw in the cake. LOL

Susan I am not going to date anymore now. I think I need to spend time with friends yes, and I am going back to my church. I am starting to miss it.

Csue and tqt,

I retained an atty yesterday and he is meeting me this morning at 8 am before the hearing. He said he will have it reduced to impaired driving. I was not really drunk, but still over the legal limit.

I got scared thinking of getting the max and possibly 90 days in jail by pleading guilty. You know I am so not a bar person, have only been about 5 times in the past couple of years. And I drink only wine sometimes beer and only a couple but it effects me, and I do need to stay away from it for awhile. And I need to avoid the bars like the plague, yuck.

Anyway I hired a new assistant as the one who was with me the last 12 years got a better job. This new assistant is a couple of years older than me and just a bundle of joy. She laughs all the time and really lifts everyones spirits.

She asked me to join a bowling team with her, and my sister and another girlfriend too. So we will be bowling once a week. I am so excited about this. Girlfriends and hanging out once a week, yes.

DD and I are going on a road trip this coming weekend, don't know where but to a hotel with a pool and maybe on the water if I can afford one. Just mom and DD for the weekend doing girl things.

Had so many people call me after they read what happened in the paper to wish me well, and say I was the least likely person in town to be out drinking and driving. (they put this crap in our paper because this town is retarded).

Thanks all.

Maybe next week I can enjoy the campfire along with JJ's cooking, 2long and Grays singing... when all of this will seem a distant memory. YEAH!

AD - thank you.

Oh and case anyone is interested, it cost $350 for bail,$10 for the privilege of staying in the torture chamber for 13 hours, $65 to get my car out of the pound, $76 for new license plate as cops took mine, $750 to retain atty and I'm looking at at least a $500 fine.

Goodbye new white fence around back yard.

Weaver,

I'm sooooo glad you have an attorney. I just couldn't imagine you walking into court by yourself and pleading guilty. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!

Please come post as soon as you're done so we know you're Ok.

Csue,

I can't believe I even considered not getting an atty and pleading guilty after what I am learning now.

The atty postponed the plea hearing until tomorrow for me because I had a meeting I didn't want to skip at work this a.m.

Thank you Csue, will keep you posted.

Whew Weaver -

Glad to hear from you....my imagination was going places I didn't want!!

Good for you for postponing! Glad you took advantage of the flexibility!!! Get a good night's sleep.

Tonight, band rehearsal. The commercial we shot last weekend was ready, and the director was coming over to show it. So the band sat around watching TV. I went to the practice room and got set up, played my guitar, waited, waited. Nobody. An hour later, the director finally showed. Another hour of clowning. Finally, at 10:00, the band was ready to play music.

I don't go to rehearsal two times a week to sit around having inane chatter and watching the tube.

I complained about it later. Not an angry gripe, just the truth, calmly expressed. I summed it up with, "I'd just rather play music than sit around watching TV." One of the guys said, "That's what makes you you" or something like that. This is a guy who watches maybe 20-30 hours of TV a week. And he comes to rehearsal, and just wants more TV!

Something like this happens every time we rehearse. I try not to get annoyed. I try to be grateful that I get to play music with my friends at all.

I'm getting tired of it though. If I put down my guitar and join them, they're watching the "Teen Choice Awards" and talking about "entertainment news" or relating things they saw on TV in the last two days.

These situations make feel me more and more isolated. When I was seeing my IC and I talked about this stuff, she told me that I was changed, and that at times it would be hard for me to relate to my friends. Don't I know it.

I'm not surly or harsh about this stuff around my pals. When I complain, I don't point my finger at them and say they're wrong to do what they want. I just acknowledge that it's not my first choice for how it would be.

But I feel like an island. One that nobody wants to visit.

GC

GC,

So you are a guitar player. I would have guessed keyboards.

I can understand wanting to just play when you go to practice. In music, you can lose yourself. If your band is going to be serious, you need somebody to be in charge of rehearsals! These guys must all be young, single and in no particular hurry to go anywhere.

I'm not a musician at all, but I just bought a keyboard. It's used, but I still can't justify the cost. It's supposedly for my DD4, but it's a bit excessive for her. I was going to ask your opinion before I bought, but I made my choice without professional advice. It's a Kurzweil sp88x. I've been fiddling around with it for hours every day. The pseudo-grand piano sounds very nice - and almost feels right, but I like the strings a lot.

I've got a real piano over at the other house - Yamaha C7. I was holding off on moving it because it will cost me $400 to move it, and then I'll have to have it tuned for another hundred. That's almost as much as I paid for the Kurzweil. I figured if I sell it I should just sell it out of the other house and save the moving cost. I could use the money, and honestly, considering that I don't really play at all, this keyboard would be plenty for me. W is adamant that I should not sell it. She's given me about 10 lectures on that subject (including one yesterday or today). It is, she says, something that one simply does not sell - unless moving overseas or the person who plays it dies. It's something special, a family heirloom. If I'm going to keep it, I gotta get it moved over here. The AC is out over there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I shudder to imagine what might happen to the piano in this heat.

The electric keyboard is pretty cool though, but I think it's going home with DD when she starts her next little music class.

-AD

Oh and I've been up til 4am about 4 days in a row. That's got to stop or I'll lose my job.

On sleep:

Don't like drugs, so rarely use 'em for anything.

Not for sleep, not for staying awake.

Last night I was awake. Thought about computer time......but it came to me that the best thing is always to attempt to do what is best, not substitute something else.

I laid awake. Not worrying really, not thinking really, just drifting. Sleep wouldn't come though - 1:30.....2:00?

Not sure, but morning came finally, and I realized I had slept.

When sleep won't come, I pretend it will.... and I wait it out. It was hard at first. Easier now...........as the years pass.

Graycloud, you have gone ahead of your friends. You have grown.

Things you have learned, are a mystery to them. Your mind wanders different paths much of the time.

Isaac Asimov wrote a book called "The caves of steel."
Cities seem that way sometimes. It's easy to wander, easy to loose ones self in the caves.

I have spent much time wandering the caves of sandstone. I have searched for things you are searching for. It's not that there are no people out here in the world that think like you think. It's just that they are not in your band these days.

Tonight I'll sing my songs again
I'll play the game and pretend
But all my words come back to me
In shades of mediocrity
Like emptyness in harmony
I need someone to comfort me
Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thought's escaping
Home, where my music's playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me
Silently for me
Silently for me

I have to believe there is someone out there for you. I do beleive it. I believe there is meaning, and fullness of joy.

Don't give up. Don't loose hope.

Don't be afraid to change directions if and when it is needed.

Home is where the heart is. Where is your heart? Where do you want it to be?

SS

SS, you have the idea.

Feeling lots of sadness for my XWW these days. I remember once, she didn't know what to give me for a birthday present, so she gave me cash. In the card, she suggested a few things I might use it for. One of the items was misspelled. There's so much contained in that one misspelled word. Remembering it breaks my heart.

And if that's not bad enough, I imagine what it must feel like for her, to know the suffering she's created. I hate to think of her feeling that sort of guilt and pain, but I also hate to imagine her not feeling it.

So confusing! I wish I could help her, but maybe she needs no help.

GC