Where are you now GC?


Your Friend Michael

Still seeking, I wish you were my DD's grandpa. You're so wise that it amazes me some days. Yes, I know, you're not wise at all. Please let me say that that just adds to your wisdom. I like you a whole heckuva lot.

Hi GC,

Was your gig this weekend? How did it go? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

How's everyone else? Weaver? Where the heck are you, girl? 2Long? SS? FF? Been missing you all. (Golly it's amazing how engrossed and concerned we can become about ppl we've never met <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.)

It's a ghost town, on the board and here at home.

*sigh*

~ StillLovingHim

SLH, just posted to you in the Idiot thread. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hey GC! How are you?

Hi, SLH. Yer purdy.

Didn't have a show this weekend. Just busted my butt around the house. I'm tired, and I have some work to do. Gotta get ready to get divorced.

FF, I'm swell.

Michael, where am I? Well, it's Sunday night, and I'm alone in my house.

Things are good. Gotta go to court and see the sparrow Tuesday. But I also have a date this week. Balances things out, don't you think?

GC

More than balances. Squidges GC!

- Kimmy

Thanks, GC. Said like a true Texan, inflection, resonance and all. You sure you're not further down south than the Lakes?

I didn't know your court date was so soon. I don't know whether to be happy for you or to grieve with you.

Let us know how you feel when the time comes, Gray.

~Still

SLH,

Thanks for asking about me. I have been around but limiting my time on the forum, and that other thread has kept me occupied. Drudging up some old feelings and neglected faith.

Gray,

Enjoy your date! As for the other, no comment.

Take care all!

Tomorrow's a big day for you.

Just wanted to say we're all thinking of you; knowing it'll be difficult but that you'll do fine.

~SLH

Thanks, ladies. I have some preparing to do... but I'll be fine. Probably.

Know what I'm most worried about? That seeing her will yank me back to a different place than where I am now. That my love for her and my sorrow over what she's done to us will knock the wind out of me.

As you know, I've been feeling good, for the first time, really, in a year. I've declared myself done. I got into my car ten days ago to leave for my brother's wedding, and I felt my whole perspective shift. You could have heard the thud. I no longer see the things she's done in the last year as the wanderings of a confused person I love and want to help. I see them now as a personal attack on me and several other people, including a brand new person, done by someone who was fully aware of the suffering she was creating, and who did it anyway.

I don't hate her or resent her for it. I have to accept her for what she is, which is someone who can do all this. I feel terribly sad for her. She's responsible for a landslide of suffering. I would not want that burden. Even rationalizing it would take so much energy.

I miss the person I knew for 11 years.

I remember when we were first together, she used to say that after many years of uncertainty, she felt like herself again. Like she'd regained the spirit she'd had as a child. I don't take credit for this. I was just there at the time.

Well, she's gone again. It's as if her life has been a wave. In the good times, she's been kind and caring. In the bad, selfish and heartless. Up, down, up, down.

I think she might be able to spend her life not so badly burdened by what she's done. She'll marry the tin man, maybe have children with him, admire cool cars and use words like "antediluvian" with him, perhaps put all this business in a dusty corner of her mind and carry on more or less okay.

I can be a little much sometimes. One of my friends refers to this as "turning up the GC". I can get carried away. I can get too caught up in what I'm doing. I can be insensitive, especially if I'm trying to be witty. I'm horrible, just awful, at managing my time. I used to get very anxious and let my anxiety affect others (this part of me hasn't been seen in some time). I can be disagreeable, argumentative, and dismissive.

I was all these things to my wife at times. I was also loyal, affectionate, supportive, and lots of other good stuff.

Oh, well. I'm glad I don't have to deal with a spouse who remembers her AP with fondness and romance, wondering every time we disagree if the grass might be greener in the tinman's backyard.

She used to call me her "sweet angel boy" sometimes. Someday, maybe somebody else will dream up a nice name for me.

My middle name is Michael... that's the archangel who tossed the devil out of heaven. Cool.

I'll do fine. Check it out, I'm the midnight rambler.

GC

You'll do much better than fine, GC.

You'll do great.

Think of all the wonderful perspective you have now. And the exciting path you have in front of you.

I'd take your path over hers anyday.

(I'd also call you angel-pookey-bear but people might start to talk!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

You've come a LONG way. I hope you can feel how far you've really come.

(((((GC)))))

Read your post just prior to turning in....it's a keeper. It's a good thing others can put into words feelings I can relate to so I can plagiarize their statements and quit breathing through my mouth long enough to blurt it out and sound reasonably intelligent.

I too feel the corner has been turned. My head is out of the rear view mirror and foot is off the brake. (ya see....without others to steal phrases from my prose would consist of one cliché after another)

I hope her presence does not knock you off your game. Just think...your life could be a lot worse...you could be her.

praying for you today, GC. <pookie bear?> LOL, Robby
{{{GC}}}

gc:

"I can be a little much sometimes. One of my friends refers to this as "turning up the GC". I can get carried away. I can get too caught up in what I'm doing. I can be insensitive, especially if I'm trying to be witty. I'm horrible, just awful, at managing my time. I used to get very anxious and let my anxiety affect others (this part of me hasn't been seen in some time). I can be disagreeable, argumentative, and dismissive."

Who DOESN'T this describe, at one time or another?

You'll do fine... ...and you will be VERY popular!

-ol' 2long

2long,

Loving & praying for you too, my friend.

~ SLH

Hey Graycloud,

Be thankful when you hurt, it means you are still alive.

Be thankful when you you get in a pensive mood, It means important things are still important.

Be thankful for your friends on MB, because if you get out of line, we'll tell you.

You are not out of line.

SS

SS, binder, 2long, SLH, robby, FF...

Thank you.

Reached a settlement. I don't like it, but who ever likes their divorce agreement? It's going to be an uphill battle to hang onto the house, but with some clever accounting, more belt-tightening, hard work, and good luck, I may be able to hold it together. At least the ref didn't make me sell it.

It was grueling. My lawyer said, "You guys are nickel-and-diming each other." I agreed with her. It's tough. Everybody feels the other person is trying to rip them off. The whole thing took two hours.

I'm tired. Now I know what people mean when they say they feel "numb". I walked away from court feeling neither happy nor sad. Just sorta wiped out.

Now, 1.5 hours later, I feel okay. There's still much in doubt w/r/t my house, and the sparrow has a niiiiiice fat check to look forward to, but I know what I have to do.

Wow, the hoops she's made me jump through. I can see why people flip out. My attny told me a few stories about people losing it in divorce court.

Well, all there's left to be done is some paper shuffling.

My first post-sparrow date is TONIGHT.

GC

Well thank God you have a wonderful distraction ahead of you this evening. It just goes to show what a gent you are GC that sparrow was the one fighting for more and all you really wanted was to hold onto your house. Hugs and best wishes for tonight. Phew...glad that is behind you now. How long til it is final?

We have three weeks to get the agreement all gussied up, then it's another two weeks to process the paperwork, and I'm divorced.

From where I sit, the sparrow's future looks all full of crud and muck. Mine is wiiiiide open.

GC

From my POV, you are absolutely correct. Have fun tonight! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />