More:

"The curtains are drawn
Now the fire warms the room.
Meanwhile outside
Wind from the northeast chills the air,
It will soon be snowing out there.

And some there are
Cold, they prepare for a sleepless night.
Maybe this will be their last fight.

But we're safe in each other's embrace,
All fears go out as I look on your face-

Better think awhile
Or I may never think again.
If this were the last day of your life, my friend,
Tell me, what do you think you would do then?

Stand up to the blow that fate has struck upon you,
Make the most of all you still have coming to you, or
Lay down on the ground and let the tears run from you,
Crying to the grass and trees and heaven finally on your knees

Let me live again, let life come find me wanting.
Spring must strike again against the shield of winter.
Let me feel once more the arms of love surround me,
Telling me the danger's past, I need not fear the icy blast again.

Laughter, music and perfume linger here
And there, and there,
Wine flows from flask to glass and mouth,
As it soothes, confusing our doubts.

And soon we feel,
Why do a single thing today,
There's tomorrow sure as I'm here.

So the days they turn into years
And still no tomorrow appears.

Better think awhile etc."

-Genesis, "Undertow"

-ol' 2long

This is an easy one, but what the hey. God Bless The Flaming Lips.

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize
We're floating in space?
Do you realize
That happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize
That everyone
You know
Someday
Will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round

Do you realize?

Do you realize
That everyone
You know
Someday
Will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?

Do you realize?

GC

Okay, I'll poke this thing myself.

2long... I know what's happened recently, but I don't know what exactly your plan is for responding to it, if you respond at all.

I think it would be strange to have one's feelings for his spouse erode as yours must have over these years since you've known.

We all have these different experiences of grief, don't we? Is the WS there, is she not? Does she want a divorce, or doesn't she? Is the OP a confused and immature person, or just an a-hole... and is there any difference?

My own experience... over a period of about six weeks, my M went from vague doldrums to rubble, and that was the end, though the death rattle lasted a year. And more, really, because I still don't feel especially single. How could I?

I think that even if it's only symbolic, an event that officially marks the end - even if I'm the only one who knows it - will be a good thing.

When I buy my house from myself, I'm planning to have a party. If it's cold, there'll be a fire. And there will be music, and hopefully a decent number of people will come.

I'm wondering, is there anything I can do to give this event some lasting significance?

I wasn't thinking of a chicken sacrifice, exactly.

Mmmmmaybe the fumes from alcohol and chemical stripper are getting to me...

GC

ah, gc. That was cool.

Lots 2 ponder. Most, I'll have 2 get back 2 you after I've had time 2 think a bit on things we said 2 each other last night and this mroning. I'll need 2 reflect a while.

But I think it's clear that an ending occured, and I'm trying 2 decide whether it was the "End of the Affair", or if it's just more wishful thinking on my part.

By the way, I put that in quotes because it's the same as the title of the Ray Finnes/Julianne Moore movie that I had seen about a year or so before D-day while on travel. I thought it was an interesting movie (in retrospect, it probably seemed that way at the time because I was a fan of Moore). After d-day, I was told by my W that she and RM saw it, and they compared me 2 the wimpy BH in the movie, which I 2k great issue with (not surprisingly). Recently, it was on HBO (like, why do they show multi-year old movies on a channel you pay extra for??), and I watched it again from start 2 finish. My opinion of the movie changed again. Words 2 describe? "S2pid" and "$h!++y" romanticization of infidelity came first 2 my mind. I was more amazed at the transformation of my whole thought process in the 5 years or so since I first saw it than the sheer $h!++!ne$$ of the movie!

Anyway, digression over. In any case, I sense a real "ending" has taken place. Problem is how I feel about it. I have energy left, but not much. What motivates me now, maybe more than ever, is the prospect of doing the OTHER thing - splitting our assets and going forward without resentment.

So, I'm looking for more gas 2 keep this up somewhat longer, 2 see what she truly thinks our M is worth. And maybe it'll be enough for me 2 want 2 save it still.

-ol' 2long

>I have energy left, but not much.

I know that feeling.

Eat some spinach. Rest. Take care of 2Long. He's a worthy and worthwhile critter. He's special and adored.

After you take care of yourself, then you can take care of the outside flotsam.

(squidges)

- Kimmy

I agree with Kimmy, 2Long. You are a treasured friend at this campfire and it saddens my heart to see you have to stand up and fight yet another dragon in your marriage. I can't imagine the fatigue you must be feeling.

Do try to take care of yourself, luv. Leave the outside forces be for a while, whilst you nurse your own soul. It has so much to offer, so much that is underappreciated, but that we all know is there, and love. And like Kimmy said, once you begin to be renewed, then you can face those dragons anew. It's not avoidance, or putting your head in the sand; it's just a small, well-deserved respite, a re-awakening of the soul.

This is an easy one, but what the hey.

Gray, that's my favorite FL song. I need to burn another disc of it because I've been giving all my compilations away. When friends hear it (usually we're driving somewhere, and it's on my player), they have to know who it is.

So SLH, what is up with you? You ok? And where is ss???

SS is wishing he wasn't burried at work, and at home, so that he could post more. Life is like that some months.

{{SS}}

Like the months ending in ..er?

Sorry SS. Have a s'more and put your feet up.

Actually, I'm almost ready for Christmas ......
Christmas of 04.

Almost.

Thanks, and the same to you.

It's not like my world is ending. Just behind.

I should be saying kind things to you. But then, it shows what kind of people are here, doesn't it. Thanks again.

SS

The real problem is that things come to me to say, and I don't have time to type them.

Drives me nuts.

I see everyone has been helping everyone else out though, and that makes me happy.

Hi 2long, been praying for you.

SS

Why not be kind to me?

(pout)

Yea, I should take time. You are worth it.

Work calls - it's not the call so much as the hammer that drops if it's not answered.

SS

I hate the hammer. Throw it in the fire.

- Kimmy

Well if this don't blow the $hi+ off a flat rock! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


...we're in something akin 2 recovery, methinks!

I gotta run (seriously, sorry!), but I'll post details when I can...

-ol' 2long

...we're in something akin 2 recovery, methinks!

So, did you pray too?

Or not, but tell us...............
This is some of the best news I have ever heard.

SS

Got a gig tonight 2long... I'll think of you while I rock.

GC

Aaawww, SS, I thought you were on vacation or something. You wish, huh?

FF, you are such a honey; thanks for asking about me. Things here are holding, I guess. H just got back in town from 5 days in the Gulf and having slept only 14 hours total. He's caught some ferocious virus, but where is he anyway? At work. Grrrrrrr.

He's a vampire, too -- doesn't go to sleep until 2 and 3 in the morning, and then he will make up for it by sleeping all weekend, and I end up being a single parent the whole time. I've long given up asking him to come to bed with me; I snuggle with a teddy bear instead while watching a new channel, or History or Sci-Fi or something on the TV sleep timer for background noise. Is that pathetic or what, LOL? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I imagine I will be able to repeat the history of Pepper, or LeSalle's true burial locale, or the entire contents of the periodic table including state, color and classification soon, with all my uncouncious learning via the TV's timer. Well, I've always wanted to learn Gaelic.

How have you been, FF?


slh