Oh SLH, how wonderful for you! You two on the same page for once is great.

SS, I almost forgot to wish you happy vacation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yes, he will have to learn the hard way...but truly it is our children that pay dearly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

SS wrote
Nothing else matters at this point.
He will have to learn the hard way.

Sorry for the swings - I think it will be AFTER until it will even out for you.

Keep trying, you will make it.

Oh, FF. Hon, this is going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done. I know he loves you. I can FEEL it. But it's not enough now, as you know.

Been thinking about your beautiful DD. Are you going to tell her about the D, or is your H? 3 weeks is so soon! Even with IC this is gonna hit her like a ton of bricks.

hugs, Honey.


slh

We are supposed to tell her together and shortly before he moves out. Yes, the biggest toll will be on my dear sweet, beautiful, sensitvie, loves her daddy dearly, daughter.

Good for you. You need to see a light at the end of the tunnel. That will go a long way for you for the next little while

Look how little's kept me around for the last 11+ years, LOL! Imagine what a mini-vacation would do!

SS, are you going on a business trip, or is it vacation?

Have a good time, either way!

slh

Yes, he will have to learn the hard way...but truly it is our children that pay dearly.

Yes, they will pay. No words convey the sadness that a person feels over this.

It wasn't by accident that the savior said:
"Matt 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

Have a good evening - OK?

SS

You too!

Oh, I see. Yes, telling her "together" is best, I just misunderstood your comment about sending him articles on how to break a D to your children.

Will she be angry with him? At this juncture, she has to have some inkling of what has been going on, with exposure to the knowledge of OC and all. Kids look for rational reasons, someone to blame for a D. . . and for HIM, that's a ball and chain of immeasurable weight to carry around: your dd's hostility based on her understanding that his actions caused the D.

How do you shield her from that?

I'd be so bitter that it would show, FF. You are some kinda woman.


slh

Well, SLH he will get some bitterness from her even if we don't directly say it is because he won't let go of OW. She asked her dad recently if he still liked OW and all he could answer was "I don't know". She then asked him if he still loved mom and he said "yes".

We all do the best we can for our kids, what else can we do? I almost ruined their lives with my own A years ago, I have fought to protect them ever since. I can never let my babies down again.

My W and I try to take two trips a year. One in the spring near our wedding anniversery. The other in the fall after her B day. This of is the fall trip.

We will mix it with some family business, but from Wed afternoon on will be just the two of us.

I still owe you some pics of dates, and vacations.

Maybe....... before I go.

SS

You won't have to say a word about OW or OC; she will know. DDs are perceptive like that (as you know). And your WH will have to live with the consequences of his actions, his foolish choices, and the impact it will have on his burgeouning woman of a daughter.

Just such a damn shame.

FF, know matter what, when it came down to it, you know you did your best, right, Hon?


slh

I have for the past several years, but I will always regret my failure to protect my loved ones. It is my job to protect not bring harm. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Well here is my song for the evening, in honor of the upcoming fall equinox (thanks JJ, that was cool). So lets all toast to the harvest moon!!!!!

Hey at least we made it through to the fall right? And that's something to put in the old Gratitude Journal, hey?

Harvest = a time to reap in joy, what we have sown in tears...and we have all sown a lot of tears these past months.

So here's to fall, and to all the great people who hang out at Gray's campfire -

The Lonely Road of Faith

Up and down that lonely road of faith
I have been there
Unprepared for the storms and the tides that rise
I’ve realized one thing, how much I love you
And it hurts to see, see you cryin’
I believe we can make it through the winds of change

God is great indeed
If you believe, in the everlife
Yeah we gotta
Make some sense of the piece that’s not defined
And if you just hold on, I wont let ya fall
We can make it through the storms and the winds of change

Though I walk through the valley of darkness
I am not afraid
Cause I know I’m not alone

And if the wind blows east, would you follow me
And if the wind blows north, would ya stay your course
And if the wind blows west, would ya second guess
And if it blows to the south, would you count me out
And if the sun don’t shine, would you still be mine
And if the sky turns grey, would you walk away
Would you say I do, if I say I’ll be
And walk this road through life with me
You know I love youuuuuu

On this lonely road of faith
On this lonely road of faith

Kid Rock

Weaver,
It is nice to see you happier.

Does DD notice?

SS

Yes. We held hands last night most of the night while we slept.

She wants to come home now instead of Nov 1st, but her dad will never agree.

I told her when she is 12 when can have the custody changed if she still feels like she wants to live with me all the time then.

She loves her Dad, so she is very torn but she needs me.

And I know what you are thinking SS, as I have thought a lot about it these past few days, and that is that now I am able to be a good mom to her. I am here 100% now, where when Dan was in the picture and especially after I lost the property I was a basket case.

SS, I hope you and your W have a really great vacation!

I should add I had her for the weekend but then she wouldn't go back to her dad's last night so I got her an extra night.

And when she sleeps at her dad's she stays in her own room, but with me she sleeps in my room, always has and I don't care what the "experts" say. This is an old scary house and I see no reason to make her stay in her room, when I am single and have a huge room and bed.

You were a good mom before -
There are too many times you came and told us how concerned you were about her for me to believe otherwise.

You may be BETTER now, but you were good before.

SS

SS,

Have a great time with your wife!!!

Weaver, I pooh-pooh those old "experts", too. I nursed and slept with all of my babies until they felt ready for their own beds -- a fine line between encouraging independence and reading their neediness. Now they all happily sleep in their own beds but they choose spend many nights with me, too, just for good snuggling and love, or because of a storm, or if they had a bad day.

Those crazy "experts" change their POV every decade on the Parental Bed!


slh

At the current projected path, by Saturday Lovely Rita's eye will be only a handful of miles from my town, a large Cat 4, and we will be on the eastern, stronger, "dirty" side. Storm Surge could wipe us out, guys.

Is it too late to move? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />


So tell me, Mrs. Rita. . .


slh

SLH, my friend Amelia is personally flying through the eyewall of Rita tomorrow. She tells me it isn't even a hurricane yet, but is sure to become one shortly. Certainly as soon as it hits that bathtub-like Gulf.

The models that turn it north seem to be gaining a larger consensus though...

GC