Heh heh heh. HoFS just introduced them to me this past weekend. I returned the favor by introducing him to Macoun apples. They are both fabulous.

It's a good thing I've had some soup and an apple (gala, I believe) in the last few minutes, or I would be drooling on this keyboard.

I'll have to continue on the less-certain path for tamales. I've had Rick Bayless's "Authentic Mexican" cookbook since before he was famous, and I'll probably try what's in there first. Goooooood stuff.

And on a completely different cultural note, tonight's supper will be "Pizza in the Hut." It's a joke -- the "hut" is the sukka and it's Sukkot. Hurray, 90 minutes with DD. (We'll ignore, for the moment, the other people who will attend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)

Ah... the joys of continuing to figure out how to co-parent.

On Monday, DD and I were driving back from Ohio. (Lovely weekend. Had dinner with friends of his, drank expensive Chinese liquor, had a good time. Played flag football again. HoFS iced his knee and I put a heating pad on my back afterward. We fell asleep holding hands like that.)

So anyway, we’re on our way back from Ohio. My ex calls and says her husband’s car in the shop and won’t be able to pick it up at the right time, making getting home tough. So she asked me if I would pick her up at the Metro and give her a ride home. I said sure, I'd be happy to.

Then she said her husband would also be at the house and I could just drop DD off there if that made more sense for the timing. I suggested that we wait to see what made the most sense after we had a little better sense of timing. She agreed, and we decided to check in with each other when I was closer to home.

So later I gave her an update and she wrote back and said she wouldn’t need a ride after all, and said that if she wasn’t home when I got there, that I just drop DD of with her husband.

I asked that she let me know when she’d be home, and she asked that I just take DD to the house.

I said, "After what happened last time? Uhm. Thanks, but we'll wait until you're home."

She got annoyed about that and said, via text, “…If you would simply deliver her to [her husband] just as you would to me, there's no reason for there to be a problem, and that is much better for [DD] than extending what has already been a very long day in the car."

That kinda sent my eyebrows into my hairline, but hey. So I didn’t answer -- there's not much I can do about her car trouble making her late, and I didn’t want to answer in a way that would force it to be a fight.

After we’d continued our drive toward DC, I sent another message asking, "What time will you actually be home?"

She didn't answer right away, so I went to the grocery store closest to her house to get milk and sundries. As soon as we walked in, my ex tried to call. I missed her the first time, and she called again. The conversation went something like this:

J: Hello?
Ex: Where are you?
J (deciding not to say "Hi, nice to hear from you, too!"): I stopped at Giant to get milk.
Ex:: *grumbling* Fine.
J: So... when are you going to be home?
Ex:: I'll be there by the time you get there.
J: Okay. See you soon.

And then we went on with our shopping. We got our $29 worth of items and headed for the car. Once we were back in the car, I headed for my ex’s place and sent her a text saying, "Are you actually home yet?"

I pull up to a red light and stop, and the phone rings.

J: Hello.
Ex: WHERE ARE YOU??? THERE IS NO WAY YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN THIS LONG TO GET TO MY HOUSE FROM GIANT!!!
J: Uhm. I'm sitting at the corner of [two streets close to her house].
Ex: Well, STOP JUST SITTING THERE AND BRING HER TO ME NOW!!!!!
J (fighting a case of the giggles): Uhm. Ex. I'm sitting here because I'm at a red light. I promise that as soon as the light turns green, I will start driving again and we will drive to your house.
Ex: (I can't remember what else she said; I was still giggling inside.)
J: And, uhm, it would -really- help if you could calm down a little before we get there, okay?
Ex: Just bring her to me.
J: Okay! See you soon.

So I hang up the phone, and DD says to me, "Was that Mommy? Is she
mad?"

J: Yeah, sweetie, that was Mommy. She's a little angry right now.
DD: Why is Mommy mad?
J: Well, I think she's had a tough day and she's frustrated that you're not home yet and she's not sure what to do about it.
DD: Is that why Mommy said, 'Bring her to me NOW'?
J: (while thinking, Oh crud, DD heard that?!? Argh!): Yeah, that's why she said that. But like I told Mommy, the light is still red, so we can't go yet. We have to wait until the light turns green.
D: Giggling Yeah! Mommmy didn't see that! (pause) Maybe Mommy doesn't know that Ohio is far, far away.
J: Welll..... I -think- Mommy knows how far away Ohio is.
DD: No she doesn't! Ohio is far, far away and it's a lonnnnnng drive!

I'm guessing she was trying to figure out how she would explain why we weren't home when my ex wanted us to be there. So I suggested that DD ask my exif she knew how far away Ohio is when she got home.

She seemed pretty satisfied with that. She was a bit stressed at the beginning of the conversation but when I was calm and cheerful about it, she calmed down pretty quickly. It also helped that when we did get to my ex’s place, my ex was pretty calm about the transition and did things fairly normally. By then, all DD wanted to do was go jump on their new couches, anyway.

And that was the return from Ohio.

I’m still trying to figure out what the whole deal with the ex and her new husband and the ranting about not doing transitions with him is about. It sure does trigger her, whatever it is.

It's about HIS feelings of power.

Believe me. He's put a bug in her ear....and now it BUGS her. It's not you. It's them.

Love ya!

Kimmy

Regarding my once-divorced friend in an ongoing custody war...

She was remarried several months ago, but she's been unable to move to where her new spouse lives because her ex does not want to share custody over a long distance. My friend has no family here, none. In addition to her new husband, she does have family in the place where she hopes to go.

Since her remarriage, she and her ex have been fighting it out in family court. Yesterday the court informed her of its final decision: she cannot move to where her husband lives, not with her children.

I've volunteered to care about this situation by staying friends with this woman, but given my former role in the story... in the interest of not having past injuries continue to affect me any more than they have to, there are good reasons I should detach from it all.

And I have to tell you, the effect of this news on me was huge. It huuuuuuurt when I heard the news. And I don't want to let this horror show get to me any more, but this woman and I, we got pretty close back there a couple of years ago. I admire her, and I'm not going to quit being her friend. It comes at a cost though, and this is tricky navigating...

Anyway, think of her. She's getting kicked around by the same old culprit.

GC

{{GC}} miss you friend. So sorry about your friend. I hope her H can move to her cuz her kids are of the utmost importance. Too bad her X is using them.

Hi FF. New H has kids, and is divorced, and lives near his ex.

Divorce! Wheeeee!

GC

Dang, gray, that's a tough situation. Kids need both parents. I know how hard it is to form a relationship with someone who's far away and how much you want that relationship to be strong and ... whole. And yet, it is so important that kids be close to both parents that I can't disagree with the judge's decision.

I'm sorry for how much pain it's causing you, gray. I really, really am. And I am even more sorry for the pain of all the people whose lives are more directly affected.



And on a completely separate topic, did you know that there are varying numbers of facets cut into a diamond? 57, 58, 64, 108 or so.... And they used to be much smaller numbers. 4, 8, 12, 24. Neither did I. The things you learn...

So? Who's got the marshmallows? And here, let me toss a few logs on the fire. It's getting -cold- this time of year!

J is looking at diamonds?

Pulling out loupe, let me have a look at that….

Hmm, we have a good ring stone here….

Facets: Numerical control machine cutters vs. traditional hand cutting perhaps: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond_cut


Pass the marshmallows please.

forget the marshmallows, pass the chocolate! Hi Appy.

Hope you are ok, GC

I like pretty baubles. The Hope Diamond and the National Gem and Mineral Collection are some of my favorite things to look at.

Funny. I like dead things like mummies and skulls...and bits of pottery and arrowheads.

Maybe it's the season.

I like Variational Calculus, galaxies, Graph Theory, subatomic particles, 100 meter tall trees, and the open ocean.

Oh, and kids and hot fudge sundaes.

ed: Almost fogot, I still like CCR.

I wish you were close by to help my DD with Algebra. sigh.... I am not a math geek by any means. I like hot fudge sundaes and kids too. Oh and dogs/cats/birds/fish and going to the aquarium to see my DS face light up with joy.

I like quiet times, soft music, time to think.

I like the camp fire when it's low, and everyone's getting sleepy.

I like my MB friends.

SS

DS8, DD5 and I lay in the back of the truck last night looking for the comet. (is it northwest from SoCal?) I like looking at the night sky with my kids.

I like sleeping while the sun bakes me.

I do not know how to express how much I love the sound of the ocean lapping at the shore.

I like spiced tea of many flavors.

Funny - I was about to say I like my friends here - and looked up and noticed SS has already said that. Me, too.

far

I like coffee after a long night.

I like it when my daughter chatters at me. Even when it's 11:15pm and she should have been asleep 2 1/2 hours before.

I like watching her race from door to door in her Dorothy costume (all the way down to the ruby slipper) yelling "Trick or Treat! THANK YOU!!! Happy Halloween!"

I like having ten people at my dining room table. (Though I don't like DD having a "trantrum" in the middle of it because HER sloppy joe bun without the meat and with catsup instead doesn't look exactly like little-boy-next-door's bun with just catsup. *sigh*)

I like my house quiet so that DD and I can do our bedtime and morning routines without excess insanity. Thank goodness we -have- routines, though, so that even when my parents and sister are in town for more than a week, we can sorta continue to function.

I like SweeTarts. And Milky Way Dark. And being old enough not to OD on the stuff. Quite.

Happy All Saints Day, y'all.

Hmmmm, coffee at night...

My brother's wife is about to have a baby. For a long time everyone thought it was a girl. My brother called me about two weeks ago and said,

"Gray, my baby's got balls."

You have to know my brother. Anyway, if the head is pointed right, my parents will have their first grandchild this weekend.

Last December, I finally kicked cigarettes for good. I can swim several miles without a rest. Who thinks it's safe to smoke a cigar in my bro's garage?

Anyone have any gift ideas? Not for the baby, that's done. For the parents! My SIL has spent her entire pregnancy sick. It's been rough.

GC

Meals, GC. Give them some nice pre-made meals.

Sleep -
Not the little itty bitty 16 oz bottles of sleep most places sell, but the 5 gal size or even the contractor 50 gal drum size.

They'll need all the sleep they can get.

Last December, I finally kicked cigarettes for good. I can swim several miles without a rest. Who thinks it's safe to smoke a cigar in my bro's garage?

What part of NC don't you understand?
(grin)

SS