Gray, what's up with ditching your friends from this painful part of your history? C4L in RL and us here? I have a sense... well. You never do admit it when I peg your emotions right, either, do you?

Tell C4L I said hi. And yes, that means you have to call her up specifically to do it. And reconnect with her while you're at it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What am I trying to protect? SS, sorry - I don't know what you mean.

I would do well to explain better then.

Someone who is afraid to stick their neck out, is trying to protect their neck. Or their head.

What do you get by being withdrawn with C4L?
Is it the energy it takes to maintain the relationship, or friendship, or whatever you want to call it?

Is it that you don't have the time?

I asked not for my information, but so you can identify it, and think about it. You need not answer here.


Gray, I thought it would be easier for you by now. I know you "have a life."
I am wondering what you feel you are lacking now. I mean, one thing is obvious, but other than that?

SS

Thanks for the package deal J, We have those family traditions too. Isn't it cool?

Did you manage to calm everyone down with a spreadsheet?

SS

JJ, I love you.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the update Gray.

I was older than you are now when I finally realized that it matters nothing what other people think about me, so I quit worrying about it and decided to become whatever I wanted to become. To live my life as I wanted, knowing that those who would hold me back would dissappear into the background (in my mind) and those that lived the kind of life I strived for and to be like would reach out their hand.

I can't wait for the day that you realize who you are and your own value to others. The day you stand up and unabashedly, unashameably reach for what you want while saying this is who I am, and I'm pretty cool.

What you call getting therapy on a public forum may just be giving therapy on a public forum. You really helped me because you saw something in me and helped me to see that I didn't deserve what I got. You have the power, the personality, the intelligence to make big differences in peoples life.

I miss your posts because of their beauty, depth and often they were just plain fun to read. Your sincerety and refusal to compromise your beliefs shouts out in your posts.

I know exactly what SS is saying. Don't be afraid to really be yourself, you are a person who could lead. Don't hold yourself back because of fear, worry or shame...what an incredible loss to yourself and to others that would be.

As SS said, no response necessary. And it is the last time I will bring anything up like this to you, unless you ask. So don't worry about that.

JJ - my best gf recently sent me the entire first season of Fraggle Rock. Tell me you love it too.

(Doozers are the cutest little thangs)

I think the past two days I was throwing a BF (Didja ever see White Chicks...lmao)

Here is what I wrote when above mentioned best gf innocently asked how I was doing...I know I copied some of you on it, but since dear SS asked, here 'tis:

[color:"red"] Had King ****** migraine this past weekend. Ended up in the after hours clinic for phenegern and dubain shot....for the first time in 17 years (the onset of my migraines began a month after Z was born) I looked at the needle. Now I know why my a$$ hurts. You see...when I have a headache like that I always gauge whether or not to go to the doc by asking myself, "Hey Kim...wouldja rather have your head hurt, or your tushy hurt?" When the answer gets to "Man, don't care 'bout the seatage area anymore...just shoot it and get it over with" it's time to load up to the doc's office.

Much more exciting...yesterday this happened:

I'm in a turn lane to make a right merge onto another street. There was a cute Honda Pilot in front of me...I remember when she passed me thinking, "hmmm...that's cute...wonder if it has a 3rd row seat?" And I made mental note so I could look it up on the net today.

She's ahead of me and the road is at a slight incline....we both were at a complete stop. All of a sudden she begins to roll backwards....no reverse lights....just la-la-la rolling backwards....

So I lean on the horn.

She keeps rolling backwards.

So silly me...I haven't let up on the horn yet, but somehow my not so logical brain thinks she's not hearing it and if I lean harder on it, it'll up the horn volume...so I lean harder...and the horn's still going and...

BAM!

She looks up into her rearview at right after she hit me. I'm all making the "what-the-eff-how-did-you-not-know-you-were-rolling-backwards-braintrust" universal signal by throwing my hands in the air and saying "Duh-DER" very snarcasticly to her when she glanced up. She makes the right and turns into the Shell station on the corner....but she turns in the drive area...not pulling thru to the parking area...and she sits there in the driveway. I had to pull around her to park.

I immediately go out and my bumper looks pretty bad...my license plate won't stay on...and she's sitting there yelling at her kid to get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks in the back seat....Red flags raise...if she was going to stay for the police why not pull all the way in...and why would her kid have to sit down and buckle up? Shore nuff, she reverses a little, and got the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of dodge.

OH NO SHE DI-INT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(eyeroll)

Seriously...the Ohno and eyeroll were the first things that went thru my head.

And yet...da-da-dum! Because she raised the flags on the plays, I had already made note of her license plate number...(insert evil grin)

So I go into the Shell, ask them to call the po-po...give them the license #, call Nio...and w/in minutes of calling him, he had a handy dandy print out of ALL the vitals of the vehicle...names registered to, phone numbers, ADDY...and even the amount they paid for it (they got hosed).

I wasn't pissed about the bumper...it's just a thing...but for crying out loud... WTF was she thinking doing something so BLATENTLY WRONG IN FRONT OF HER KIDS???????????? WTF IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? WHERE IS HER SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY??????????????

That's what put a booger up my butt.

So later, I go pick up the Wookie...and we go over to their house....and spoke to her husband (she wasn't home yet). He was GOBSTRUCK! She had different insurance than him, so he couldn't give us her info...but he told us when she was going to be home.

How much you wanna bet she NEVER thought someone would be able to get her for this??? How much you wanna bet she was BETTING that SAPD had their dicks in their hands and didn't care enough hunt her down for a little bumper damage? How much you wanna bet she wasn't gonna tell her husband...it was a secret between her and the kid?

(scuse my French and excessively ill mannered term for male naughty bits)

And how much you wanna bet she didn't have the foresight God gave little green apples to realize that you can't go screwing people like that...How much you wanna bet she never considered that someone might hunt her a$$ down and call her on her dishonesty?

You wanna hear screwy...even after she looked at me in her rearview...even after she pulled into Shell and stopped....she told her husband she DIDN'T KNOW SHE HIT ME.

Liar, liar, pants on fire. She must spend a fortune in chonies.

Guess what? The reason the world is so screwed up and me, me, me all the time is because of people like her, her, her.

Guess what also? I could've been sleeping with la emme other than a cop. You can bet THEY also have information at their disposal...and their tactics aren't nearly as nice as ours.

You don't screw people over like that...even over little stuff...cos you know what??????????

You never know when a uniformed Wookie will show up on your doorstep and call you on it.

And I will call you on it. That whole "it takes a village thing"? It's tattooed on my soul. It not only applies to children...but to EVERYONE...and it IS my duty to call on it...."Am I my brothers keeper?"

You're damn straight.

You don't like it...don't eff up around me.


Sorry about the language. I'm still mad. And no...I'd never had "called her on it" w/out the Wookie....but Geeze....Cass...what is WRONG with people? Where did they get such over blown senses of entitlement? Where is the concern for making certain children see the best in you...where is the concern that you bring them up to be GOOD, honorable people?

I am SO angry that people no longer hold themselves accountable...I'm so disheartened about the "mes" and "I deserves"....

Your needs are JUST as important as mine...as the waitress busting her hump to put her kids through school....as Joe Schmoe cleaning the pool...

Remember the Scarlet Letter? The good of the community came first...it came first for everyone in the community...WHY? Because without that bit of self sacrafice the community would die.

Why are our communities suffering so now...suffering with poverty...not just monetary poverty...poverties of the souls and spirits and families....why? Because everyone has shifted from thinking of community first to "me first", to "I deserve" first.

I won't allow it Cass. It's not right and I'm saying it and I'm going to keep saying it. I will say it loud, proud and you may be certain that I'm not going to stop saying it.

Enough.

Because of what Nio and I have gone though...because of what we've learned...how we've grown, I am saying enough.

Sorry. You got a dissertation on the ways and woes of the world and all you asked was how I was doing.

I'm doing well...I'm feeling a little (just a smidge) vehement today....but hey...better righteous vehemence than selfish negligence.

Right?[/color]

Oh...SS....thought of you last night...MADE SPAGHETTI PIE. Have you ever had it? Of course, I amended the recipe a bit. We're cooking the You on a Diet way...so everything is organic, and all pastas are whole wheat...but it was UBER NUMMY.

I don't know why I don't make it more often...and get this...the majority of the ingredients were leftovers. It was like BAM! Not the Emeril kind...the kind where you think...I got this, this, this in the fridge and VOILA! Kitchen magic.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got 'ghetti in my tummy....

- Kimmy

AND SLH---

(sang very throaty and sexy like Sade)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday
We love you
Happy birthday
and may all your dreams come true
When you blow out the candles
One light 'mains aglow
It's the love light in your eyes
Where e're you go.

GC - while you question your self worth, there are those of us who innately know that your value is so great that it is unmeasurable.

- Kimmy

My self worth? I know what that is.

(pinkie to mouth)

One million dollars.

Nice story by the way. People don't get that they don't get it.

GC

Hey...GC....

Lemonman much?

ROTFLMAO!

But your worth (to us) is bigger than a million $. If you copped it today (God forbid), there are people who've never met you IRL who would think of you often and miss you sorely.

Now stop it.

We need to think happy thoughts and pixie dust cos I'm gettin' all misty.

(snarf)

Oh...I got something...you know I have all those Kimmyisms I've heard and adopted or just plain made up.

Got a new one to add to the repertoire:

Sweatin' like a fat girl writin' her first love letter.

Paula Dean said it on her show last Friday. 'Bout wet myself when I heard it.

And you know. I done tried to not check in.

That danged LilSis and her most excellent PlanA helped lure me back.

I get it now...I'm a MBer for life.

Hey G...Bekah got her first guit-fiddle for Christmas.

It's PURPLE....it's a cheapy...but she's showing some determination...might have get something nicer.

Thanks, Kimmy. I needed that today! I swear it feels like Monday.

Sweatin' like a fat girl writing her first love letter. Haw!

Happy burfday SLH!

GC

Kimmy:

We bought my son an electric bottleneck slide a few months ago, and his first amp for Christmas. ...of course he's almost 20 now, and he's been playing my old acoustic for a 2ple of years now. Seems 2 have some talent, 2, unlike yours truly (which is why it's in such good shape after 36 years!).

-ol' 2long
P.S. Happy Bday, SLH! Read Dr Suess' 'Happy Birthday to You' 2 yourself for me, okay?

What's the difference between and electric slide and an acoustic slide?

Jokes abound.

gc

Depends on the chafing.

I'm so glad there are other people around who remember that Friday night lineup fondly. Ahhh, junior high. Those were the days. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

And so, Kimmy, I'm thinking you're feeling a little disrespected, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Compassion is a good balm for the sould when ya get that way. And I like to look at flowers, too. It's not that being vehement is bad. It just takes a lot of energy. (J needs a nap...)

The thing is, when I see those old Dukes of Hazard reruns, I wanna crawl under my bed and weep.

I did not possibley watch anything so positively stupid, did I?

ROFL

On a more serious note, Gray, you know how I feel about you, too. You're amazing. Really. I wish you could see yourself as I and others do.

I am going to head out to Galveston in a few minutes for a picnic on the beach with the kiddos and a few friends. Ti is in NYC, but he will be back tomorrow for a few days before he heads to Omaha, so we'll do something nice together then.

Y'all have a great night!

slh

just the writing it made me feel better.

I have a ton of compassion. You don't survive this without nurturing your compassionate side.

And...

Dunno

if

I

mentioned

it

but

I'm

insanely

happy

or

maybe

just

insane


(shrugs)

Whatever it takes, right?

I still wanna know if SS ever had 'ghetti pie tho.

There's something about the sandy grit in your sandwich that makes it taste better, imo.

Yeah.

It's insanity. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Licks for everyone.