That is evil <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Nice thought, but I really just want to know if he's there or not. I prefer that he not know that I have access to that information right now anyway.

I'm assuming he is there, he swears he's not. Honestly, even if she doesn't see him there, I am going to believe he was and we just missed him. I'd like the proof though for my own peace of mind.

On another note, I spoke with a family friend who is a lawyer again and he thinks the separation is the right thing to do also. He's going to make some adjustments to the paperwork I have and that should be ready by mid week.

I'm going to talk with Steve next week too. When we last spoke, he suggested keeping conversations with WH unemotional while he is in SAT. He also said that Plan B would be right around the corner in his opinion.

I want to do that if he chooses to stay in SAT after visiting his family. This weekend I will follow the advise and keep the conversations centered around the repercussions of his trip financially and logistically for us. Not in a badgering way but just, How should I do this. What do we do with that?

He has agreed to talk with Steve next week too. So I hope that may help.

But, in the event he chooses to not come home after this trip, I want to Plan B. I'll see what Steve thinks about the timing, but I believe the timing is right for me. The separation will protect me financially.

So, I'm going to do that Plan B letter and post it here. Have it, along with the separation papers, ready for November 1st. That will be one week shy of the 3 months.

LIke I said before, he knows what he has. It's not a matter of him realizing that anymore. He's saying this is what he wants and needs. He's telling me we can work through anything and make it through this.

I'm doing the work right now. He needs to hop on the bandwagon. This living in SAT while I'm here just isn't going to work. I do hope and pray he sees the reality of what he is doing and asking. He's just doing the same thing he was here, in a different state. But now, he's seen enough to know what it is that he could have. He can throw it away if he chooses, but I know I have done my part in opening his eyes to the possibilities.

I will have known I gave it everything, plus an extra week. Then it's up to him to put up or shup up.

yeah but would she want to let the air out there where he will be stuck with OW...thats why I offered if he stopped by here in CA...at least he would be stuck in the middle of nowhere....Oh I know...hehehe...follow him to the nearest rest stop....and wiat till he goes in...muhahaha
better yet have it towed....

I think that maybe when I drove by yesterday he was out doing something he HAD to do in another city! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Not sure why he had to do it in another city and not in SAT! I am still planning on going out there later on. It is crazy here today. I have all my kids here and they are WILD <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

If camp bullis wasn't so darn far away from where I live (my parents house) I could go out there to see if in fact he did park the trailor there. Cuz I did not see it in the lot.

Hi mom!

He never made it down there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Quick question, was there a storm there last night. Heavy rain, thunderstorms?

He said there was and the trailer leaked all night.

I was gonna check the weather down there, but since you're here, I figured I'd ask.

BTW - How is your family?

What do you mean he never made it down here? Down to SAT???? Yes, there were bad thunderstorms here last night from what I understand. I slept right thru them though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> So where is he? If he were coming from the west he would be coming straight thru on I-10...that is the only way he could come thru Texas from the West coast and since he went south from Washington instead of going thru the four corners, I assume he would be coming on I-10 from Calfornia...yes??

Family is doing ok!! Dad is very weak. Unable to walk much. H is working hard shampooing carpets and hooking up tv's. I'm upstairs trying to corral the kids and clean the bedrooms! Call me if you get a chance. Got my cell phone on me at all times <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Mom,
Praying for your dad. My dad just diagnosed today... had surgery.... tell you about it later.

Keep your eyes peeled for any trace of that dang leaky trailer that wasn't supposed to be in San Antonio but probably was, somewhere!

Praying for you, too, Faith. Keep up your sense of humor. It does the heart good like medicine, the Bible says.

~ Patrice

No...he's in SAT. He didn't make it to Houston yesterday. Sorry.

Hi FIM,

I am an old-timer. Don't post much anymore because XH and I divorced back in May...but I lurk and have been following your situation (your's too, Mom). I live in Houston and, if you need someone to check up on your WH here, let me know....

Regards,

Brit's Brat/BS-43
XH/45
DS/3
Status: D-day was 5/02. Divorce final 5/04 after 2 years of fighting furiously for my marriage.

<small>[ October 23, 2004, 06:15 PM: Message edited by: Brit's Brat ]</small>

....and we had mild thunderstorms this morning about 9 (but NOT last night) and it rained pretty much the rest of the day....if that helps put things in perspective.

Regards,

BB

FIM, sorry I couldn't talk today! WHAT A DAY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> We've had people in and out all day long! Exhausting I must say!

Now about those storms. We had storms LAST NIGHT about 4 or 5 am...not yesterday! The storms came thru the west. Then probably headed towards Houston. Soooooo, the alien COULD have EASILY made it to houston and back in one day BEFORE the storms came thru. I dont understand what he is geting at here. But then again I dont understand the WS language!

Today it has been beautiful..just to give you an idea of the weather situation here! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Snow, I am sooooo sorry to hear aboyut your daddy. Please call me next week when i am in town. We go back tojmorrow afternoon. I am praying for him and you!

Momto3boys,
It is very thoughtful of you to be helping FIM out with figuring out what is REALLY going on.
I just noticed your sig line about being a Dr. Phil family this season. That is pretty impressive. You ARE a gutsy lady going public with your story.
FIM, I guess you are in communication with your WH from what I read?!
Did you inquire about how you are "going to buy formula for the baby and etc. yet?"

Hi... If you don't mind me asking, did I miss something? When & why did Houston come into the picture? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Isleepwithacat
Isleepwithacat@yahoo.com

The alien was supposed to go to Houston to renew his passport! why houston I asked <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> When we had to get our passports we did it right here in SAT....Did you know that SAT is a REALLY big city! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Yes, we are one of the family in crisis' for the DR Phil show this season. WE have already filmed one show and will go back in Nov to film another one.

Good Morning. The kids and I are having a great weekend. It's amazing how much smoother things can run without him here. I know that sounds bad, but I had done it without him for so long, that we are already back into a routine of just the four of us.

Of course, I'd move heaven and earth to have him here, normal. I would be great to be able to get a routine WITH him.

Oh well.

We haven't heard from him since yesterday morning. The kids tried calling once yesterday afternoon, once in the evening and once this morning. At this point, I've just told them we'll wait for him to call because something must have come up. Uh. Huh.

I'm expecting that when he calls it will go something like, "I just wanted a day to myself with nobody influencing me to really think." "I needed some time to myself." And of course, "Thank you for giving me the time I needed." Blech!

But, life goes on and the kids and I are going to get our family picture done today. Later we're going to the pumpkin patch again and then having a nice evening together.

Last night I had a couple of girlfriends over, our kids played all night and we enjoyed 5 bottles of wine and a steak dinner <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And triple chocolate mousse cake for dessert....with wine of course <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I got to bed about 1am and am tired today but it was nice to just sit around with the girls. I'll be paying for that dinner for a long time. I made butternut squash with LOTS of brown sugar, garlic mashed potatoes, rosemary bread, and asparagus drenched in butter to go with the steaks. Oh....it was so worth it though.

So, I'm off for the day. I'm keeping my cell off though because I know I'll keep looking at it waiting to see if he called. I have no doubt that he is there, so I'll deal with him when he calls, be nice and pleasant for the next week and let him make the decision of where he plans to live after that. If it's SAT though, I am still resolved to follow through with the separation papers and go on without him.

sigh. I hope it doesn't come to that, but he seems to be running head long in that direction. I'm interested to see what Steve has to say about this too.

Someone asked why Houston for a passport when SAT as a Passport Office...reason being (as I learned from first-hand experience a month ago), the Houston Passport Office is the only one in this area of the country that can issue passports on the spot. For example, I was going overseas on business. The Wednesday before I was supposed to leave, I got my passport out only to discover (this is the honest truth) it had expired the day before! (Hadn't used it in a while.) I made an appointment at the Houston Passport Office for 11:30 the next day. They took my application, asked me some questions and told me to come back after 2:00. When I did, they handed me my new passport.

Regards,
BB

Not 100% familiar with your story but from what my wife tells me I can tell you some things about his thought process. He will not find anything in San Antonio except OW's welcome arms. He is not going for any other reason. Unlike my situation where OW is just minutes away you have the distinct advantage of him having to travel great distances to be with OW. Overtime the relationship will disintegrate. Long distance with a married man? not likely to last. In the meantime you need to give him a dose of reality. You might consider telling him that if he is going to go to SA to be with OW you may need to start seeking comfort from your friends also. Maybe you stay out late here and there you can't always be by the phone. Watch the panic set in when he realizes you are not at his beck and call. Whatever works. You are surely attractive to other men and he knows it. Maybe it is time for a reminder.

I agree with the above poster. I know that FIM is a big girl and she has to do what she has to do. But it sure sounds like IF (FIM'S WS) comes back home in a week or so, he gets a "free pass" and will probably ne able to "get another chance" to get his family back (untill the next time ofcourse). Good luck FIM, I know you may not think so, but I am praying for you.

I agree with both of you. He does need the reality. That's what I'm going to do, too.

And Lemonman, please don't think I believe you have ANY ill will or problem with ME. I have no problem believing you are praying for me.

I did take exception to the tone of that one post, but I have to say that I look forward to reading your posts and you have made me look long and hard at my own actions and reactions.

I appreciate that, greatly. It is easy to get bogged down in the minute by minute emotions of this and lose sight of the big picture. I have done that on more than one occasion.

Thank you for the perspective you bring here. I don't have to agree with everything you say to know that what you bring is important and needed. You make me stop, think and reconsider. Not always an easy task <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dadto3boys:
<strong>In the meantime you need to give him a dose of reality. You might consider telling him that if he is going to go to SA to be with OW you may need to start seeking comfort from your friends also.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you mean that faithinme ought to "retaliate" with her own affair - or even threaten one - you've missed the big flick.

She is already getting comfort from her friends and family - seeking the kind of comfort her H is experiencing would make her a first class hypocrit. Two wrongs do not make a right.

As she continues her path on the moral high ground, no matter what transpires with her marriage, she'll be able to recover with her integrity and values intact. Stooping to seek "comfort" for stolen marital harmony would put her in the same class as any other active WS - pond scum.

This does not mean she shouldn't conduct herself as an independent, strong, virtuous, and resourceful woman - the kind of woman real men appreciate. This is in keeping with her approach to lure her husband out of his stupor. Why would any man reconcile with a whimpering woman? He was a real man at some point. His scumminess may yet rise from the pond.

I think what dad is trying to say is that FIM should go out and be as independent as she can. She can tell her WH that she is going out and he can take it from there. He can imagine what he wants. Let his little mind to the wondering. I remember when FIM first started posting, she would get all dressed up and "go out" not telling her WH where she was going. He hated that.

Dad was trying to say that if she dos that again, it might make her WH realize that she CAN move on with or without him. Dad was in no way shape or form suggesting she go out and have an affair on him. It may have come across as that, but I dont think he would suggest that at all! Doing that would only "JUSTIFY" her WH affair in his mind <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />