Use it the most effective way by putting it in the hands of those that will affect WW's behavior most.


Bear do you want to affect your WWs behaviour or stop the affair ? It takes two to stop the affair - the WS and the OP. Parents knowing won;t stop teh OP from conspiring and sneaking to get your WS back in bed. Telling their spouse will.

Also I am very glad I did not tell my FWWs mother. Now we are recovering, my FWW would have a terrible time with her M taking her disapporval to the grave with her for ONE MISTAKE.

Bear, your limited 'friendly' exposure influences only your WW not the OM. What stops HIM taking the initiative and persuing your WW ?

'friendly' or 'safe' exposure is only half the job IMO. Less than half in fact as the OMs spouse not only needs to know about the affair but ALSO can become your GREATEST ally in preventing a repeat of it. I encourage you to expose to OMs spouse as with BS here.

Don't make me sic MelodyLane on you ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Aside from avoiding LB at all costs, you must NOT show fear of a possible divorce. If she smells your fear of divorce, she will use it as an effective instrument to continue her affair. The best way to counteract her threat of a divorce is to simply say to her "If you truly want a divorce then go ahead and file for one, I can't stop you anyway but as for me I will do everything in my power to save this marriage and if that means exposing your affair to the OM's W, then so be it". Doing this will speak volumes to her about your courage and self-respect.