Toomuchcoffeeman - At first I thought you were slammin me..then I thought - no, he's asking me to "reflect"..

Don't admire me too quickly..Yes, I've fought like hell for over a year - I've been through all that I thought was possible..because I truly/deeply love this man..I've blamed everything for the longest time except him for his A's...only recently thru this board have I come to realize what/who he truly is..and still I have hung in there - hoping/praying ...all I ever wanted was to turn our M around to have him love me again...BUT - if he has Herpes and never told me that is UNFORGIVEABLE..that he put me at risk...that will be the final blow - my personal 2X4 to move on..to stop trying to win this battle...to let go...

I will muster the courage to get tested soon - if I'm Herpes free then I will get the Love Tactics book - I will continue to try and salvage our M..

Here's my Plan

Get tested - if positive - CALL my attorney IMMEDIATELY...File for D take 1/2 of everything- he says over his dead body..start choking baby...then - File Civil law suit for what's left of his money....I will become the B*$%H he says I am..I'll have NO MERCY...Believe me..I will screw him to the wall and then some..

My first H had herpes - he told me about it before we ever had sex - we always used a condom -he never risked my safety. He respected me..I've not been w/my XH for over 12years so if I have that ain't where I got it..Could I prove that??? Would I need to prove that????

Boy, my mind is sure running in circles.....