TNbelle -

I don't know anything about how they are doing. I talked to MIL Christmas eve to let her know that I wouldn't be coming and to wish them a Merry Christmas. We ended up having a long talk. She apologized for the way WW is behaving says she doesn't understand it at all. She was kind enough to tell me that I have been a good H, and that she hoped we could maintain our relationship even if things don't work out with WW. I thought that was very kind of her.

I don't know if her parents have been confrontational with her this week, or if they've tried to be understanding and kind. I don't think they will enable her, but they might be careful not to do anything to lose her for good. Her brother may be a different story, I'm concerned about him. He was to arrive there last night and I know she was anxious to see him.

Anyway, that's the update to this point. As the saying goes, I'd like to have been a fly on the wall when they all got together to discuss this.

Georgia

Edit - Note to Mimi: SAA arrived today.

<small>[ December 28, 2004, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: Georgia Guy ]</small>

Just dropping in to say HELLO!

Glad you had chance to enjoy your home.

I'm glad that you got the book. I can't say HAPPY READING,though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Mimi -

I hope you had a great Christmas, thanks for the hello.

I'm off the rest of the week, don't know when WW is coming back so it could be a peaceful week. #1S/DIL and I have plans for NY eve night, I'll go over that later.

I would like to ask you to do me a favor. I pray often for folks on the site here, but the situation of fellow-Georgian "tdr" has really stuck in my mind. Young lady with 2 small kids. Her thread is a page or two back. Would you please read it and see if you have any encouragement you can offer? I've read it and been deeply touched but don't feel qualified to offer any real advice.

Thank you for looking at it for me.

Georgia

Georgia:

I don't feel able to help tdr at this point. That situation is beyond what I feel is my scope right now.

Hope you are doing well, enjoying your alone time.

Take care.

Okay, Mimi...thanks for taking a look.

Yes, I'm doing fine. I'm going to work on taking the tree down this morning. #1S/DIL are coming over tonight and DIL is cooking lasagne for us.

Friday night we're (the 3 of us) going to Charleston for "First Night" activities. This is a New Years eve celebration, family oriented & non-alcoholic, of various artistic presentations at multiple venues around downtown. Includes concerts, plays, dances, etc. Very nice. We went 3 years ago and it was great. Williamsburg, VA does the same thing also, we've done that one 2X.

We've got a hotel suite Friday night, then we'll do stuff along the coast Saturday before coming back home. This should be a lot of fun.

Nothing new on the WW front.

Georgia

Good Morning to all -

Just to quick note from the SC coast to say Happy New Year to all my MB friends.

I've had a wonderful evening with #1S/DIL and have some activities planned for her today before we head back home tonight.

No new word from WW, she's not come back home yet.

Again, thanks to all for the kindness and support shown. I look forward to some positive developments in 2005.

Georgia

GG,
Don't be surprised if she doesn't come home for a good long while. I would guess that dealing with the rejection of your Plan B has taken a toll that may cause her to want to avoid anymore such rejection for as long as she can. and in a way this is realy kind of funny, because in the end it will truly take both she and you were a real Plan B is intended go.

if she continues to stay with her parents and tries to go on with her life from that position, then the reality of what the final outcome of this sad interlude may really end up being, may just sink in. and that would be such a good thing.

Happy New Year.
Coach

NOt much time today.

MORTARMAN, MY MB SAVIOUR is back!

Go to his thread and ask for his help.

He coached me through PLAN B.

LATER.....

Okay, I need my MB friends to help me speculate what is going on with WW.

She arrived home tonight about 7:30PM from her parents house where she had been for almost a week. She didn't pull into the garage, just unloaded her bags from the driveway. She was here about 30 minutes and left again. Before Christmas, she had began coming home each night around midnight. Very, very uncharacteristic.

This week while she was gone, she stopped the mail delivery. She knew that I would be here all week.

Also, one day this week there was a message on the answering machine from "Ms. XXX", saying "this is a message about personal business with Ms. GG". And left a toll free number. When I called back, Ms. XXX answered the phone with her name, no other identification. I just hung up.

Okay, any speculation what this is all about?

Georgia

GG ... don't speculate b/c you would go insane plus trap into manipulation.

The only action that GG should react to is dumping OM, NC and ask to be given a chance to be W.

-rh-

I agree not to speculate other than to make sure that you are protected.

I would suspect some moves to get together with the OM.

Do stay on the lookout for MORTARMAN, a Christian man, who also struggled with his WW and PLAN B.

I think his thread has moved to the second page now.

Thanks for the input, Redhat & Mimi..

I've read Mortarman's thread. I'll try to post a very brief summary on his thread and solicit his input on mine. I may be able to do that this afternoon.

I'm getting ready for church. All 5 are going out to lunch today afterwards.

I had some great conversation with #1DIL yesterday about this whole situation and how #1S really feels and how this is affecting him. It is great that they have such open communication as a young couple. He is so blessed to have her for a wife.

Thanks again for the input...more later.

Georgia

Are you OK?

Yes, I'm okay. Thanks for checking, Mimi.

This has kind of been a couple of really, really depressing days for me. I decided late last week to cut back to 1/2 dose on the Lexapro, I think that probably wasn't the right thing to do at this time. I've got a follow-up dr. appt. tomorrow.

A couple of years ago, I surprised WW with a weekend trip to Charleston. We stayed in a B&B downtown overlooking the market. It was a wonderful weekend. We parked when we got there and walked everywhere we went for 3 days. Ate at some of the really romantic places downtown, went on a carriage ride, a lot of romantic stuff like that. Lots of intimate time together.

In addition, we honeymooned in Charleston in 1976. It's always kinda been our "getaway" city where we loved to just go and stroll along the battery and reminiesce.

So when #1S/DIL and I were there this past weekend it really brought back a flood of memories for me. We went to the market and I stood outside that B&B and just stared at the windows to the room where we stayed. It was really, really tough.

So, yes, I'm okay....but about as depressed as I've been in a while. I can't help but thinking that it really is all over. I know 2 things you will say. You will say "no, it's not over", and you'll also so get back to the full strength Lexapro.

While I'm having my pity party. I am on a government commission that meets quarterly at various locations around the country for 3 days and amounts to a very luxurious company paid vacation. WW has always gone with me and we've had some wonderful times seeing things we've never seen. Last year we went to Miami, Albuquerque, Virginia, Washington D.C. Next week I will be going to Tucson for 3 days without her, and that is really hitting me hard, too. I made my reservations to travel alone, and will be staying at a very posh resort (alone).

Anyone, I've kinda of slacked off posting because there's really nothing new happening. I haven't seen her at all since a few minutes Christmas morning. The "kids" are going to visit her parents next weekend. I have made reservations at a suite hotel near the mountains this weekend but right now that (or nothing else, really) is sounding too appealing.

So...that's the saga of G.G. right now.

Georgia

GG,

I don't have much to say since I never had to do Plan B - but still wanted to check in and say Hi!

Has SH addressed how long you're supposed to support WW financially. Because it seems to me that in some ways even though you're plan B - you're still meeting ENs at least financially.

Am I right in that she has use of family funds?
Did SH indicate how long he recommends you staying in plan b before taking some other action?

Hi, CSue. Nice to hear from you again.

SH had suggested I maintain the status quo on finances unless she does something drastic like go to Canada to be with Mr. Dreamy.

If that happens, SH recommends I pursue a legal separation.

Otherwise, yes, I am basically meeting ALL of her financial EN's.

Georgia

GG,

Ok, that makes sense. Do you know where she is?

Yes. She got back here Sunday night from her parent's house where she had been since Dec. 26.

Tonight I hear her banging around downstairs. Whenever I come in, she's in "her" bedroom with the door closed.

She starts back to work (school) tomorrow.

Georgia

GG

Good, I couldn't remember if you had ever mentioned where she had been all this time.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this book to you before - but it's a cornerstone of the MB philosophy - it's titled "Give & Take".

It's not about affairs per se - but it explains Policy of Joint Agreement or "POJA". Basically rules for a successful marriage.

It explains the very nature of our "Giver" personality and our "Taker" personality. It really helped me understand where my husband was coming from as we went through recovery.

It's a book that doesn't require you to be in recovery in order to benefit. In reality it helped me to understand myself.

I guess what I'm getting at is that while you're biding your time letting her feel the consequences of her actions - this book is a good place to learn about healthy relationships which is beneficial to all of us wanting this.

Another book - affair related is called Not Just Friends - by Shirley Glass. The Harley's highly recommend it. It explains affairs in a way that's different than any I've read. She's done alot of research, maybe that's why I like it - lots of facts & statistics.

Thanks, CSue.

I do generally try to read the books that folks here recommend as I like to read. I've got a little of a backlog right now, but I'll add those to my list.

Thanks for the input, and thanks for the post.

Georgia