Mimi was the queen of undermining her Plan B. Until she decided she had no other choice.

And then, she got busy. And had fun with it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> She was one of the most creative Plan Bers on here. Go back and read her threads. I figure she added probably and extra 6 weeks to the affair because of her allowing her husband to cake eat. But once she went dark, her husband wallowed on the ground like a fish out of water. "Please, please, please give me my cake!! You are hurting me. Stop hurting me. I want icing...even ice cream with my cake. Please. Dont you love me? You are hurting me." Poor boy!!

Georgia, dont feel sorry for Mrs. Georgia. Sometimes we must have pain to get better. So understand this pain will be good for her, and for you.

And sit back and laugh a little. Because you know the script, you know what is going to happen. Now you can just watch the show. Just like Mimi did. And Mr. Mimi definitely put on an entertaining show!!

In His arms.

Mimi...

I've got the cape and mask, but still can't find the tight fitting GG knit shirt.

Georgia

Georgia,

An answer to your questions...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you for the encouraging words. I like your idea about the letter. I think I'll carry a spare copy or two with me and do just as you say. She is beginning to get much more direct in her approach, and I don't want to get sucked into discussions / arguments / etc.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is getting more combative in order to keep you inline (read: keep you feeding cake to her). This is a good sign, and right out of the script. It is one more check off the ole checklist. You are one step closer to reuniting with your wife!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know you're the Plan B czar, but I still question if this isn't going to drive her to join OM.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We all questioned Plan B. It is NOT natural to do this. it is opposite of what we "feel" we should do. But you have to trust those that have been thru this...it works. Yes, it drives the WS to the OP. That is why it works!! You see, only if predicated on a good Plan A...the Plan B makes WS deal entirely with the OP. They lose EVERYTHING you provide for them. Their last thoughts of you were positive. Then they go to OP and demand that they meet the needs that you did. Afterall, the WS was giving up everything for the OP. So the least the Op could do for her is meet all of her ENs, right? But the fact is He cannot. And he will get irritated that he is being made to do so. He will not want to do this, and especially not want to hear about her whining about you!! She will LB him all over the place. In return, he will do the same. That relationship is thru, Georgia. They just dont know it yet.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As far as I know, he is the only real comfort and support that she has right now. And, as I understand Plan B, that is often the result of a well-orchestrated Plan B. Do you concur?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So far, he hasnt been the only means of support...you both have. That is what Plan B is for. To protect your love for her AND to force him to meet all of her ENs. And in over 95% of the cases, those relationships implode.

So, stick with it. Like I said, by the fact that she is getting bolder and more insistent on contact with you, I do not give her long at all before she has her meltdown. And OP sends her packing. Or she has her meltdown and then looks at OP and says "what in the hell was I thinking?"

In His arms.

Mortarman -

I do indeed trust Plan B, I didn't communicate my thoughts well.

I guess I'm really questioning if another step for her to go through PRIOR to the end (whatever it is to be) is for her to leave and go to Canada to be with OM. Even if I could look into my crystal ball and see her doing this, I will continue Plan B. I'm just questioning if this isn't the logical next move for her.

What do you think?

Dont know. Maybe. Maybe not. Hard to predict.

Doesnt matter though. it is the route that must be taken, no matter how she choses to deal with it.

I think since she is trying so hard to keep you in the loop, she will not want to head north. She will make more attempts on lassoing you again.

You are fine. Dont worry about her next step or two. She will probably do all sorts of crazy things. She is in pain. Just stand back, grab a bag of popcorn, and watch the tragic-comedy.

In His arms.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">the Plan B makes WS deal entirely with the OP. They lose EVERYTHING you provide for them. Their last thoughts of you were positive. Then they go to OP and demand that they meet the needs that you did. Afterall, the WS was giving up everything for the OP. So the least the Op could do for her is meet all of her ENs, right? But the fact is He cannot. And he will get irritated that he is being made to do so. He will not want to do this, and especially not want to hear about her whining about you!! She will LB him all over the place. In return, he will do the same. That relationship is thru, Georgia. They just dont know it yet.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPPENED WHEN MY FWH WENT TO LIVE WITH THE OW!! He only lived there for 2 months, only 1 month without trying to contact me!!!!

Thanks, Mortarman.

I missed your ealier (10:34) post somehow. I do find it difficult to not feel sorry for WW, as she has really gotten herself into a very, very precarious situation. As Mimi knows....there is a strong possibility of some very serious medical issues looming for Mrs. GG.

But, as one of the regular posters here (I forget who) has in their sig line something to the effect "Never shield someone from the consequences of their own decisions". I think that is the lesson that I have have to live with right now, Mrs. GG's pain is self-inflicted.

Again, thanks for your input.

Georgia

Thanks, Mimi..

I haven't hinted at this because everyone here will think it is a big thing, but I know better.

Another thing WW said this morning was that OM is basically through with her, that he only talks to her when she calls him because she really needs to talk to him. Even though one might think that a positive sign, you can go back through this thread and see how many times I heard that same story in the past. (I think 4 times, if I remember correctly). So this means nothing to me.

However, I do think that if WW was to call him and tell him what flight she would be arriving on in Vancouver and to pick her up at the airport, now THAT would get his attention. I'm not so sure he would find it all fun and games anymore. And, as they would BOTH be unemployed, they could wallow in the pig pen of each others love all day long!! I'm sure that OMW would be glad to wait tables in a coffee shop all day while her husband stays home to frolick with his "soulmate" so that she can provide food on their table.

And, just in case that show wouldn't be enough to entertain all of us (using MM's analogy), just image the look on WW's face when she finds out that in Georgia if a spouse leaves to be with her "friend", the court automatically assumes adultery and doesn't award ANY alimony in case of a divorce. Now that show would definitely require a large popcorn and one of those 2 quart cokes.

Yes, I can see where that would get old real quick.

Okay, my attitude is taking a turn for the worse. I'm going to start thinking more pleasant thoughts, like pottery class tonight!

Georgia

But just like MM says, it's fun fantasizing about their pigpen.

Remember: MY FWH ACTUALLY LIVED IN A PIGPEN!! He claims that it was clean in there but the neighborhood? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He was calling (on my voicemail) saying: "I'm tired of living in this ghetto life". OH WELL!!

<small>[ January 11, 2005, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Yeah, you've told me about the "ghetto woman". Likewise, OM lives in a small apartment is a "so-so" part of Vancouver. The light fixtures in the hall are light bulb sockets hanging by the wire.


I guess there is a small part of me (don't 2X4 me, I'm just being honest here) that wants to say..."go ahead, go see just how wonderful he is". I've seen with my own eyes how he treats his W, and I am sure that he would treat WW the same as soon as the new wore off. (Remember..the "newness and excitement" fades quickly). Probably the one person I really do feel sorry for is OMW. She is a sweet, sweet lady who, I think, would make someone a terrific wife. Not only that, she is really very attractive. (Nope, not interested in swapping!).

But...I do feel a little guilty for the pleasure I felt out of posting my previous comments. I must learn to put on a more pious face when I have this discussion.

Georgia

Also, Georgia:

I wanted to remind you of the power of prayer when you begin to feel sorry for your wife in regards to her medical condition.

I think part of her having the encounters with you is that she knows you and can see your care and concern for her in your face. That gives her what she needs to carry on with her A.

All of that garbage about the OM breaking it off with her is part of their drama that she is trying to drag you into. It's a triangular system for your WW. It needs to be a duo with just the both of them.

I agree so much with MM's insistence that you remain dark and avoid her. I believe that you can outsmart her. She is unable to rest because she is spending much of her time trying to figure out how and when to accost you.

WOW.....

Mimi -

I know that I don’t say much here, but I do indeed still pray for her every day. However, I’ve got to admit that I hurt to think about what she may be getting herself into. What if she does have MS? Where will she end up (if not with me)? You and I both know that her love bum isn’t going to dedicate his life to taking care of her. I know I don’t have to answer these questions, but I’m sure you must have felt some empathy for WH during the whole mess. 28 years together is a long time and it hurts me a lot to see her doing this to herself. Just the fact she’s lost her 2 sons that we both (formerly) loved so much is just unbelievable to me. I once thought a mother’s love was about the strongest glue on earth, hard to believe it can be trumped by an EA.

Anyway, I’m sure she can read my face well after all these years. I will renew my effort to avoid her at all costs.

Please allow me to ditto your comments to Mortarman and me on your thread yesterday. Seems like an eternity since you so abruptly jerked me back into reality and told me that you would answer whatever questions I might have and made the promise to stick with me through this mess. I must say I thought you a bit odd (and maybe somewhat aggressive), but I knew that I could trust you. You’ve been true to your word, I thank you for always being there.

I know this pottery thing must seem trivial, but I’ve been wanting to do this for many, many years and haven’t as I couldn't just abandon the family one night a week. So I’m unjustifiably excited about starting this class tonight. Who knows, maybe a whole new career here. Will you and FWH come visit my studio in Mt. Pleasant when I become a world-class potter and give up these infernal flying machines?

Georgia

It's hard to believe. However, remember that your WW can really become herself again once she is out of the fog.

Of course I understand your concern about your WW. I woke up every single morning while he was gone, reaching for him, and then wondering how he was doing. I knew he must have been doing awful given how and where he was living. He is so enjoying planting his flowers and shrubs now. Couldn't do that at her house.... I was trying to make light of a difficult subject in my post to you.

Are you speaking of Mt Pleasant near Charleston? I have fantasies of us retiring there or, at least, having a second home there. I think I lived in Charleston in another life. Really a joke since I don't believe in reincarnation. However, I always feel at home in Charleston.

I hope the pottery class works for you. Don't feel let down if it doesn't. Keep trying until you find some outlet that you enjoy.

TIME AND PATIENCE and I think she will be begging for you to give her Steve Harley's number... That is, if she can find you...

Why am I sticking around on the forum? It's my vengeance against OW/OM and the destruction of marriages. I find myself getting frustrated but I will certainly hang on in there with you, Georgia.

BTW, I dressed up in a skirt suit today. WH clearly prefers for me to dress more informally. I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with the OW. Just his preference on how he wants ME to look. I'm feeling thankful that he is sharing with me how he feels. He's been calling me hourly just to talk. The R certainly is good.

Remember what I told about trying to enjoy this opportunity to spend some time alone. I'm spending alot of time on the phone today. Haven't gotten my paperwork done. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ January 11, 2005, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I still vacillate between wanting to tell her to go and buying her a one-way ticket or just sitting down and crying thinking about the whole thing. The boys (and W’s) are at her parents’ house this week (about 350 miles away) celebrating Christmas without her. So unbelievable...

Yes, indeed I am referring to the same Mt. Pleasant. I too love Charleston, but I don’t (as of yet) have any thoughts of retiring there (and I’m not second home type of folks). However, I do love visiting there, it is a beautiful and romantic city. I know I mentioned we honeymooned there, and we visited frequently even while we lived in South Florida.

I probably made too much out of the clothes thing. Strike my comments from the record. However, didn’t J.L. wear skirt suits in “The Wedding Planner”? Oh well...I’m not that much of a movie buff. Owing to how my day started, I wore my armored breast plate with wire mesh head gear and rode the white steed to work. The security guards hate it when I leave my horse in the parking lot all day. I may dress down for the pottery class.

On a final note, I am indeed getting my share of time alone. These little weekend trips are wonderful, I love the solitude and tranquility. However, I’ve now depleted my Marriott awards account so they may become less frequent as I’ll have to start paying hotel bills. But...it is nice and probably worth doing a short trip once a month or so.

Georgia

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> didn’t J.L. wear skirt suits in “The Wedding Planner”? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NO KIDDING! My YS insists that I remind him of J. LO in THE WEDDING PLANNER. He was referring to my personality, of course! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Don't quote me on that, it's been a long time since I saw it.

So YS says you remind him of J.Lo.? See, you're doing a LOT better than her in the M department!!

I've not yet found ANYONE who would compare me to Mel Gibson, personality or looks!!

Have a good evening.

Georgia

GG,

I have read your posts and I sit here thinking this is like a soap opera when you know 2 people should be together and you want to yell at the tv just get back together and stop being stupid!!! That is how I feel reading some posts. I did the samething when I would read Mimi's posts. I thought I had been around for a year or so but actually I've been lurking oh for about 4yrs....

Saying prayers for you!!!

Enchantedlady -

I started out yelling at the TV, but then I realized that I wasn't getting anywhere and it only made me angry.

An update tomorrow night on tonight's happenings. WW has again attempted to confront me about my "stubborness". I didn't respond.

More later, but suffice it to say that I am now the King of the Pinch Pots.

Georgia

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 07:12 AM: Message edited by: Georgia Guy ]</small>

Enchantedlady -

I really, really like that name a lot better. I had a hard time forcing myself to type the other one.

Georgia

"didn’t J.L. wear skirt suits in “The Wedding Planner”? "

Just Learning in a skirt? Now THAT'd be a hoot!

Oh, you meant that goofy chick that sings and pretends 2 be an actress...

Whenever I hear her referred to as "J Lo" I think "Jay Leno". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long