Hi Georgia,

I just don't get it. I have read countless situations on lots of boards, and I just don't get yours. What does your wife want?!? There is no way anybody can be so stupid as to think that their partner will happily accept them maintaining a relationship with somebody else, and even become friends with the OP. what drugs is she on?!?

Another question I have is I never really figured out if your WW was having an EA or PA. I could perhaps muster a little more understanding for her "we're just friends" attitude if it was an EA. I know that you were both in Vancouver together to visit the OM, however, I can't remember if your WW ever spent time with the OM alone physically.

Anyway bro... hang in there, chin up, and keep fighting the strong fight. The only 2x4 I have for you is how it could possibly take you a couple of weeks to set up your home theater system. I would have had the system installed aprroximately 17 minutes after purchase. But hey thats just me... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

oops

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 11:51 AM: Message edited by: CuriosityKilledTheCat ]</small>

oops... double post

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 11:49 AM: Message edited by: CuriosityKilledTheCat ]</small>

Georgia:

You are so right! All of this seems so bizarre!

Even crazier, I bet I could best you on some of the scenarios that I was involved in with my H.

Even crazier yet, he really seems like himself again. Sometimes I sit and stare at him in amazement. Surely his presence with me must be a figment of my imagination. But he is really here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

BTW, he likes MAN ON FIRE. I don't!

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Curiosity -

No PA involved (I don't think). She only had a few moments alone with him in Vancouver, and that in a public place.

On the seemingly forever of getting the theatre set up. Remember, I was in the midst of painting the LR before setting it up. Then, I got sick and lost about 4-5 days of painting time.

Now, the LR painting is finished and all the speakers are mounted, but the wires are too short. Remember this room is about 25' X 25' with 11' ceilings. Actually, the thing is all hooked up but the wires are strung like a spider web to make them reach. I've got to buy some more wire to extend them to the necessary lengths to be able to hide them properly.

Tonight, Chef FGG will be busy cooking at Chez Georgia.

Menu:

Ribeye steaks
Vegetable Medley
Tossed Salad
Rocky Road Ice Cream
Sweet Tea / Coffee

RSVP if any of you are coming so I can thow an extra steak on the grill.

Georgia

Missed you yesterday!!!!

how was dinner with the neighbors?

Have to give us some recipes!

Thanks, cc-

Dinner was nice, but my steaks were far from anything to brag about. Dry and tough...not too impressive. However, I did enjoy having company and the neighbors are real nice. We sat around and talked a long time, it was very pleasant.

I took yesterday afternoon off. I find that the days I have an attorney appointment I have a hard time keeping my mind on work. Then, while I was on the way to his office the receptionist called and said he was sick and had gone home. So..I've rescheduled for 4:30 PM (EST) today.

I've taken some of the first postings from this web-site (early October) and copied them into a Word docment. Reinserted the names, and turned it into a "journal" type format. It makes a pretty concise history of happenings and how things have transpired without me just trying to remember all the things that were said and done.

If the attorney thinks this is something useful, I'll go ahead and work through the whole thread that way to make the journal more exhaustive.

Pottery was fun last night. I ALMOST made my first bowl, worked on it for about an hour and had it looking great with a beautiful shape. Then, I took the wire to cut it off the wheel and cut right through the bottom (I didn't make the bottom thick enough). But...it was still a nice, enjoyable evening.

Georgia

Glad you are able to make a life for yourself.
I am still floundering mainly because I have a part time job that is not at all fulfilling (sometimes I get to read MB all day) BUT last thursday I got the announcement I was waiting for: I have been offered a wonderful job, probably the best there is for my profession. Hopefully it will also mean a decent salary which at this point is very important for me in case plan B ends in a D. I haven´t started yet, but I am looking forward to changing workplaces, meeting other people and really having lots to do which will keep my mind off WH and the A.

And get some self esteem back.

Yesterday I found Mimi´s plan B thread. It is soooooooooooo wonderful to read (because I know the end result) that when I finish I will ask Mimi to make it available to all those who are planning to go to plan B. I´m halfway thru it so I hope to be able to finish it today.

Mimi´s situation was so similar to mine... I picked up a good dose of hope yesterday.

Glad you are back GG. Yours is the first thread I look for around 12 am here (8 a.m on MB). Before that I read the evening posts of the day before (after 7 pm) because 11 pm is my bedtime.

Good luck with the attorney!

Thanks, cc, for the kind words.

Congrats on the job. You're an MD, right? And...I think you said you're in the UK, which explains the time difference.

Self esteem is also a battle I fight right now. I feel like I've had a hard time doing my job well this past year. Monday my boss called me (he's based in CA) and told me he was giving me a bonus (sizeable one, too). I was so surprised, but it was a nice boost after feeling like I've been floundering so much.

I find that staying occupied is important, but still thoughts of WW permeate my thoughts much of the time. Pottery is one of the few things I do where I totally forget about everything for a couple of hours.

I have ALMOST made it through a whole movie (which I must admit I have found pretty enjoyable). Harrison Ford in 6 days, 5 nights (or something like that). That home theatre thing is amazing.

Also, I stopped by the library yesterday and checkout out some C.S. Lewis books and another movie for when I finish this one. (Sorry Mimi, they didn't have Man On Fire, I'll have to rent that one).

EDIT - Let me add that last Friday as well as Saturday I played "pitch" with Reggie in his front yard. I could tell he seemed really uncoordinated for his age, so I casually asked him if he had ever played ball. He said this was the first time anyone had ever played ball with him!! So...Reggie and I will be playing ball more often. We used one of Jeb's tennis balls, Reggie doesn't have a ball, bat, or glove. We're going to have to work on that....

Georgia

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 07:41 AM: Message edited by: Formerly G.G. ]</small>

GG, yes I am an MD but I don´t live in the UK. I live in *****


Maybe soon I won´t have that much time to read, but I will continue to follow your thread and hope that things turno out for the best.

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 09:13 AM: Message edited by: cc46 ]</small>

Thanks, cc46. I hope things work out well for you on your new job.

Georgia

cc46:

You found my PLAN B THREAD? What is the title? I can't find it. I'm not sure I want to read it but just in case.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Your sit. is similar to mine regarding the job situation. I started working full-time for the first-time since my #1S' birth once suspecting my H's A. I love my job, have been here 4 years in OCTOBER! Wow, time flies!

GEORGIA:

Sounds like you are doing wonderfully! Remember it's my H that likes MAN ON FIRE! Why C.S. LEWIS books? Questioning your spirituality?

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Hi Mimi -

I'm doing okay. I really get kinda stressed on these days I'm going to see the attorney. Life is just so different these days. Much of it things that I think good for me. Ex. - This morning it's raining really hard here. When I left the house, there was a middle aged lady standing in my yard (under an umbrella) awaiting the bus. I can't help thinking how blessed I've been to live the life I've had. So many of the houses I pass in the morning almost look like they're in a war zone they're in such bad shape, yet people still live in them. And then, of course, there's Reggie....

I've read some C.S. Lewis before (Mere Christianity) and find that he expresses his faith in such genuine clarity. He doesn't present his ideals as "superior", and readily admits things he doesn't know or understand.

I think I can benefit from some of his writings on his spritual journey right now. I checked out 2 books. "The Joyful Christian" (a collection of 127 short thesis on subjects dealing with the Christian life) and "A Mind Awake" (anthology of Lewis' early life and searching).

Anyway, I enjoy his writings as being spirtiual and intellectual while being uniquely simple and honest. And yes...perhaps I'm searching for my own answers right now.

Georgia

I might read some C. S. Lewis myself. I continue to feel strong in my faith. However, I was real discouraged by my church family during all of this and have not been back there. H and I need to find a new church and have been doing some thinking and talking about that. I'm not sure about the value of organized religion anymore. That's my personal struggle.

I really admire how you've handled your situation. I've seen you really grow alot. I never found a way to cope well with PLAN B. It makes me reluctant to try to help folks when they reach that point.

Oh Mimi....we can't give up on church!!

No matter the church you're in, it's just made up of folks like you and I (and everybody else on this board). Folks will fail you and not respond the way you wish, even in a church.

However, it is still the BEST institution that we have to help us in our own personal growth and journey. Plus...it is often the BEST place for you to help others in need. Not to mention the example you set for your boys when they see M/D in church together. Okay, I'm preaching, I guess. I'll stop. (PLEASE tell me that you and H will look for a church!!).

I'll let you know if I recommend the two books I have out. I started the first one last night, did a few selected readings and they certainly did meet my expectations.

Much thanks to you for the growth you may have seen, but make no mistake. My life is not a piece of cake, and it continues to be very hard. I ate lunch today at a little Chinese place where W and I used to meet a lot. First time I'd been in there without her. I miss her so very much, and at times it just comes crashing down.

However, Plan B is much, much easier than watching her sit there and talk on that phone to OM all night long.

Georgia

Losing my church was a major loss.

I had gone to the same church since childhood. H and I were married there and our boys were brought up there.

Then, when we needed them, the pastor and church members weren't there for us. They acted as if they were not like us, like an A was like the plague or something.

That has disillusioned me....

We are going to find another church as part of the Recovery, just haven't gotten around to that yet.

Yes, I understand what you are saying, Mimi. Unfortunately, I know it is hard for many to know how to respond and may be an uncomfortable situation for them.

The church I am attending now is, shall I say, less dogmatic than the one in which I was previously involved. A different denomination. I loved my church, but I'm really enjoying the more "accepting" attitude of this congregation and people. I think that is good for me right now, else I would probably feel like an "outcast" (with the plague). BTW - If my pastor asks WW to leave the church, I will not agree with that position, and I have asked to reconsider.

Guard yourself against bitterness for your church, try to put forgiveness into practice even if you go elsewhere.

Georgia

Georgia,

You are right about the forgiveness piece. I've forgiven them. Mainly, I just know that they can't provide what we need right now.

Thanks for listening.

Good evening to all -

I'm leaving early for my appointment with the attorney.

I'll let eveyone know how this goes tomorrow. I get that sick feeling in my stomach when it's time for this.

Georgia

Good luck! Will be waiting to hear from you.