Gerogia

Stay calm, take care, take a deep breath every now and then.

Lots of HUGS and PRAYERS.

May your God go with you on your journey.

Good Morning all -

Well, the meeting with the attorney went as well as could be expected. First, we went over her petition to me asking for separate maintenance. She listed as reasons for her action that I moved out of the "marital home" and didn't tell her my whereabouts, and I picked up her car at her workplace and replaced it with an inferior car. (My words, the petition detailed the cars involved).

She's asked to keep the house and receive permanent alimony from me. My attorney must respond, so he's denied both requests.

And...we've counterfiled for divorce. I've asked the house be sold and equity split 50/50, and offered no alimony. He says he can time this so that they will discover that I have filed for divorce about 2 days before out court date of March 28.

Also, he read the brief journal I had put together from this site. He said that this information gives him a clearer picture of actual events, and he made note of several things that he said are important. Such as the fact she has signed up on a cell plan that gives her unlimited calling to Canada.

I must say that he continues to be amazed at WW's actions. Said of all the cases he has handled, the only one that comes close to this is a woman who had been married 35 years, had a brain tumor and subsequent surgery, then no longer wanted to be married after her surgery. He says he doesn't think the actions of WW reflect those of a rational person.

We have a follow-up next week to go over my paperwork and review everything.

Georgia

Georgia:

Sounds like a reasonable plan to me- no alimony and splitting equity in the house!

At least you are making a new life for yourself. You are slowly finding ways to live without her. I know it's hard but you are doing better than I did.

I admire your ability to cope with this as well as you do.

Hi GG,

You sound calm. At this point I think that you have to decide what YOU want to do. What happens on march 28th? what possible outcomes?

I really admire how you have faced this situation and really believe you did everything possible to save your marriage. The last word has not been spoken yet, but you must try to get on with your life without the emotional abuse this whole situation produces.

Keep sending us updates, at least every morning please <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> .

How does Jeb spend his days? is he alone?

Hi cc..

Keep in mind the March 28 date is the temporary hearing from her request for separate maintenance, it has nothing to do with the divorce. My attorney tells me that we will go into a small conf room (just us 5), the judge (female, I might add) will ask WW's attorney why we are here today. She will give her brief summary. The judge will ask my attorney how he replies to those charges, and he will address the issue of OM and why I moved out and how I have continued to pay the household bills. Also, I sold the car to use that monthly payment to pay my rent.

The judge may ask each of us one or two questions, then she will set the amount of TEMPORARY alimony I will pay until the final hearing.

Done. About 15 minutes, says my attorney.

Now...about Jeb. Getting Jeb was the best thing I have done yet. He goes with my just about anywhere I go and waits patiently in the car. He doesn't bark (a first for any of the M/S's I've had).

He has really come out of his shell and gotten very attached to me (and vice versa). At bed time, he's up on the bed and ready to snuggle. We've gotten into a routine in the morning. I get up and feed him. He eats while I'm in the shower. By the time I'm dressed, he's back in bed. I walk him before I go to work.

Yes, he's at home by him self. Sometimes I go home at lunch and walk him. On the days I'm not home at lunch, I only feed him a little in the morning. So far...no accidents.

Anyway, he really is a good dog. Very well behaved, very loving. When I get home in the afternoon, he runs and jumps into my arms.

Jeb is cool.

Georgia

Georgia:

As much as I love CC, I'm jealous. You only said HI to her.

Is it because I didn't ask about JEB?

I am not a dog person. Sorry.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Formerly G.G.:
<strong>
He says he doesn't think the actions of WW reflect those of a rational person.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Georgia,

Thats exactly what I meant by my last post. I don't get her actions and I don't understand how she does not realise that they are wrong. It seems as if she whole-heartedly, sincerely, and honestly beleives that her actions are justified. I know this has already been discussed before on your thread (what has'nt?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ) however, is it not possible that you have to deal more with some sort of mental ailment than the actual infidelity??

HI MIMI.....

Forgive my rudeness, please.

PLEASE don't tell me you're a CAT person!!! YUK!!

Anyway, I am beginning (again) to feel a little peace in my life. #1S and I were talking yesterday about the move into their new house which they anticipate in July. It hit me that my lease (6 mo) expires in July, and that I might be moving as well. But..where? Will I buy a house, keep renting where I am, what will I be doing in July?

Anyway, all rhetorical at this point. Thanks for your comments.

Again, good morning, Mimi...

Georgia

We have talked about WW's irrationality here. I think your lawyer was handing out a very big CLUE that what is going on with your WW is physical/emotional/mental. SH said something similar too, that her operating system is dysfunctional and she needed to be rebooted.

Is it possible to request a psychological evaluation? That the WW seems to be on a destructive bent? Have you and your lawyer mentioned this?

When I gave WH my PBL I included that I wanted him to seek medication and to talk with an IC. The medication ALONE has helped our recovery immensely. He has (not diagnosed, my suspicions only) Adult ADD, which makes his behavior unbearable. He takes Wellbutrin now, and it completely turns around his attitude and behavior... We've had some trials when he's tried another version of the Wellbutrin, or now he's trying the generic version...not going well...it's worth the $10/month to get back to loving....

I have had my suspicions about your WW but afraid to say anything before, because I have very liberal...out there...views of ailments, disease, and health. I have visited a homepath, accupuncturist, etc... My suspicion for your WW (and for many folks out there) is that she may be getting mercury poisoning from her fillings. I beleived so strongly in this I had all my fillings removed.

Here's a list of symptoms...seems a bit broad.

http://www.mercurypoisoned.com/symptoms.html

Whew! I feel better now. You know GODDESSES need lots of adulation and attention.....

I'm more of a dog person than a cat person. I can't say out loud how I feel about cats.

It's the neatnik/OCD thing we talked about months ago.

I'm purposefully not chiming in on the discussion about what is going on with WW. She is "acting crazy". Who knows "WHY". There's nothing that you can really do about it at this point. I would put it in GOD'S HANDS now and focus on taking care of yourself in case there comes a time when she wants you and needs you.

Simon's been nicer on AMERICAN IDOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

GG, and Mimi,

I am not really a dog person. When my DDs wanted a dog I resisted for about 2 years but finally had to give up when one of them pleaded for one for her 15th birthday. WH had always had dogs at home and agreed. I specificacly told them I did not wnt to have to take care of the dog. they got a black lab and maybe took care of it the first year. Now I´m his best friend, and he has been very important these last few months because I have to walk him, and that makes me go out. I have taken to taking him to the beach and he gets to bathe and run. So it´s good for him and it´s very good for me. He´s a great excuse.

But I am not a dog person, and although he has become one of the family and another little person to take care of, I would never have chosen to have a dog.

A few years ago some friends from India and Pakistan read the palm of my hand and on two separate occasions they told me that I would have a "son". I nearly panicked, because I already had 3 DDs. Both separately assured me there was either a son or I treated my husband as a son. Nowadays I hope the dog is supposed to be the son and that there won´t be any OC in my futur....

So I appreciate the dog, although he´s big and childish.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


I understand about the hearing. Who knows what your WW reaction will be... it could be interesting.
She is really difficult to predict. Unique.
But I am sure you will continue to be the perfect, respectful gentleman you come across as and that is very important for yourself and for her.

Mimi, just in case you are reading here, I´ll write to later when I get home because I have my notes on my laptop. I couldn´t sleep last night after I finished your thread!

GG, will talk to you later. have to go

Hi all -

Marathon meetings today. Don't people around here know that I have folks on MB on-hold while I attend to these pesky meetings? Oh well....10 minutes until the next one.

Okay, one more quick discussion of the possible med issue. She is currently seeing her GYN who is treating her with some kind of HRT, I don't know what. Also, she is still talking with her B, the professional counselor. When she was at the house Sunday, I suggested to her that she could see a local counselor for free while on my insurance plan. She said she didn't want to go to a counselor because if we go to MC together she would have to change, and she didn't want to do that. That was when she launched into the thing about SH being unethical, etc.

I don't know if I / we will ever get to the bottom of all that is going on in her head. But...I know that I can't be a part of it any longer, it is up to her to at least WANT to be helped. Right now, she doesn't. Going back and reading my early posts here (Oct / Nov) bring back a lot of memories of how tormented I have been, and how she just seemed so passive to keep up her actions even when she knew what it was doing to me.

Anyway...enough of that.

CC - I'm glad to see you've discovered the same as I about the dog. It may sound foolish, but Jeb is a HUGE help to me. It really makes a difference when I go home, and I (shamelessly) talk to him just like he's a person. He seems to understand, most of the time.

Georgia

<small>[ March 17, 2005, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: Formerly G.G. ]</small>

Georgia and CC;

You guys made me recall something I almost forgot in all of this.

I had planned to purchase a dog once son went off to college and if H wasn't back home. I knew I would need a companion.

Oh well, never got that chance....

Don't despair Mimi, I'm sure that H is far superior to a Dog. Likewise, Jeb is a fine companion, but he hasn't taken the place of W.

(Even though he does excel greatly in the faithfulness department, and he REALLY appreciates anything I do for him!).

Georgia

Good Morning all (including MIMI) -

Nothing new on the WW front, except that I've changed next week's appointment with the attorney to Tuesday at 9:00 AM. My appointment was Wednesday afternoon until I realized that I've got a conference in Atlanta next Wednesday afternoon and all day Thursday.

The SS dinner last night was very nice. Lots and lots of home cooking which was a real treat. Of course, Jeb had to wait in the car, but he didn't seem to mind too much.

It was nice to sit arounnd a table with other folks and just kinda relax and talk. Some of the people at my table had just gone on a cruise and they were talking all about it. My dream vacation is a cruise to Alaska. Actually, it's to take a train across Canada (no where NEAR Vancouver, though!), then cruise to Alaska. Maybe someday. I'll have to see what Jeb thinks about that.

Okay, enough rambling for the day. I've got work to do, and I also need to (sometime) work on condensing this thread down to a journal hopefully before Tuesday morning.

Georgia

The GODDESS has noted that you have shown her proper respect and regard this morning! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


Disclaimer: Only kidding! (For those that do not understand this form of communication between Georgia and I).

Mimi:

As much as I love CC, I'm jealous. You only said HI to her, and 2X at that!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Oh, my dear GEORGIE BOY, I'm so sorry not to pay proper attention to you this morning. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It seemed that CC needed me more than you did today.

I have to make sure not to play favorites. I know how bad that can feel. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am out here trying to earn a living today. My schedule has been so full lately. I guess that's a good thing.

My H says I'm "saving lives". Not really. I am "making a difference" in folks' lives.

I hope you realize that I was just exercising my sick sense of humor, I wasn't offended at all. Just teasing due to your posts to me yesterday. It is obvious that cc needs you, I'm just kinda "coasting" at this point.

I've got to read through cc's thread but it is long and I too have been busy today.

If they had known what they were starting, Orville would have turned to Wilbur and slapped him for even THINKING that this was a good idea.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ March 18, 2005, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: Formerly G.G. ]</small>

Georgia:

Who are Orville and Wilbur?

BTW, CC has found my entire PLAN B thread (long like yours) and has posted it over there. I don't know if you will find it relevant to you or not. I understand its 200 plus pages. I'm not daring to read it. However, it gives you flavor of the road that I have traveled. I honestly believe it is a ROAD LESS TRAVELLED!

<small>[ March 18, 2005, 11:39 AM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>