GG,

I have been reading your posts. Might I suggest that you hire a PI in Canada and find out if the OM has been to the US. Also maybe hire a forensic accountant to find out if any of the marital money has been supplied to the OM. Request your lawyer to obtain copies of your wife's phone bills. If you can I would also suggest you hire an IT person to go through your wife's computer. Yes you can legally request this. Even if she deletes items they remain on the computer and can be obtained. Next counter sue for divorce and name the OM. Get a deposition from the OM's wife if you can. What did your wife do before she became a housewife? I do not think there is any reason why she cannot work. Prove that she can. Obtain depositions from your children that they see the OM has a cause of the break down of the marriage.

Just some thoughts. Take off the nice gloves and fight for what is fair. There is no reason I can think of for your wife to get alimony for the rest of her life.


(sorry cannot spell to save my life)

<small>[ March 18, 2005, 12:49 PM: Message edited by: MoiNouvelle ]</small>

For any not familiar with the Wright boys, Orville and Wilbur:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thursday, December 17, 1903, would be the historic day. They realized it would be better to lay the track on flat ground. That and the strong (22-27 m.p.h.) winds meant that Orville (whose turn it was to pilot) was riding the plane along the track, at a speed that allowed Wilbur to keep up easily, steadying the right wing as Orville had done 3 days earlier. Just after the Wright flyer lifted off the monorail, the famous picture was taken, possibly the most reproduced photograph ever, which Orville had set up (having asked one of the men simply to squeeze the shutter bulb after takeoff). The flight wasn't much--12 seconds, 120 feet. But it was the first controlled, sustained flight in a heavier-than-air craft, one of the great moments of the century. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is that "great moment" that I sometimes wonder about. If man was meant to fly...well, you get the idea.

Yes, Mimi, I can see sitting down with a cup of hot tea one night and reading your 200 page sollilique. I have done some random reading of your old thread and it is amzaing how far you have come. I have a hard time picturing you as wallowing in the same mire that the rest of us are having to go through, being your GODDESS status and all. But, it is encouraging to see the BEFORE and AFTER Mimi, and the recovery that came your way.

Does that mean some day I may be like Hercules or Zeus?

Georgia

Oh, the WRIGHT BROTHERS! Now I get it! I told you I've been working too hard! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

MY god! (With a little G. ) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You've already surpassed me. I never coped with PLAN B as well as you are doing.

We are all in this GREEK TRAGEDY together. Just reading our scripts!

<small>[ March 18, 2005, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

MoiNouvelle (Does that mean "I'm New?)..

Thank you for your suggestions. I know that I probably at this point need to be more aggressive. Acutally, I've been thinking about calling AT-T / Cingular and see if I can get a call log of incoming / outgoing calls from both the home phone and her cell phone. They're both in my name, so I suppose I can do this.

Any experience from anyone who has done this?

I would think if I can show she spent 2,3,4 or more hours per day on the phone to OM, it would be interesting fodder for the judge.

Georgia

I'm about ready for a weekend.

Mimi....where are you and H going to be Sunday morning??? You know that I will ask you again Monday, and I know that you still have a little CA'er deep down inside.

There is only one way for you to avoid a conflict with me Monday morning....

See you in church Sunday. (GODDESSS are allowed in church, too).

Georgia

Hi GG, and Mimi!!!!

I missed your post this morning because I was very busy, left home at 8 and got back at 7 pm Whew!!!!
But it's good to be busy and as you can read on my thread I have a new exciting and challenging job. I hope I don't mess up!

Anyway I have a whole week off (nearly everyone has, Holy Week is a holiday here) so I'm off to the beach for a few days with the dog! I'll come back on wednesday but I will be reading and maybe posting a little. Not that good a connection over there.

I will re read Mimi's 200 pg thread. Again.
I have so much to learn from it not only thru what Mimi experienced but also from the advice she got. All the answers are there!! That's why I have to read it again. But I don't think Mimi should. It would be too painful. She has to look forward and enjoy her life now. She deserves it.

Anyway, just to let you know that yours is the first thread I check although now I have to check mine too.

We all have our quirks! (is that the correct word?)

I hope you had a nice weekend.

Georgia:

I know you won't be back until Monday but I don't want to forget this.

You definitely need to get that Cingular Log to take with you to your thingy with the judge.

I continue to pour over my bill religiously, still looking to make sure those devilish phone numbers aren't there.

Right up front I'm telling you that H and I will probably be taking a long walk Sunday morning....

I'm working on it.

Remember. Baby Steps!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Formerly G.G.:
<strong> MoiNouvelle (Does that mean "I'm New?)..

Thank you for your suggestions. I know that I probably at this point need to be more aggressive. Acutally, I've been thinking about calling AT-T / Cingular and see if I can get a call log of incoming / outgoing calls from both the home phone and her cell phone. They're both in my name, so I suppose I can do this.

Any experience from anyone who has done this?

I would think if I can show she spent 2,3,4 or more hours per day on the phone to OM, it would be interesting fodder for the judge.

Georgia </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">GG,

I did obtain phone records. I used it in a different way in my desolution. Actually used it in the criminal cases against my ex. He broke the restraining order. I had tons of logs from his computer showing all his affairs and the like.

I do not want to lead you on I am not a lawyer. Just a law student but I handled my own desolution and was very active in all the criminal and civil cases against my ex. I won every case because I made sure I knew the laws.

A lawyer once told me he who caves first looses. I never caved. I outlined what I would give and not give and just stood my ground. I made sure I could show just cause in why I wanted what I wanted. The judge always sided with me. The reason for this is because I did my research, thought through every question his defense team could ask and came up with solid answers to each one. I remained calm and respectful to the judge.

and yes my nick means literally in French Me New.

Oh one more point always counter with lower than what you are willing to give. When people bargin you always start off low and work up. Good luck.

I got my WH company cell phone bills on the net - just went into their site and put his phone number in and the password he always used and bingo. Got it. The only thing is that his incoming calls only show incoming so I do not know if she is still calling him or not. But everything comes out in time. I have learned patience..

Good Morning, all -

Not a whole lot of new things to talk about today on the WW front. I had lunch with #2S/DIL yesterday and then they came over to the house for a while. They really like Jeb. We, again, made it a practice to avoid any R discussion during lunch. However, #2S and I stood on the front porch and talked for a few minutes about WW. He is convinced that she's going to be going to Vancover soon, perhaps when school is out. He also told me that the one thing that has helped him get through this thing is what his pastor told him. The pastor told him when this all started that he had to think of him Mom as being dead and go through the grieving process. To realized that his old Mom doesn't exist any more. If she returns some day, that will be great, but he can't count on that happenging.

MoiNouvelle - Since you are a law student, you might enjoy this. My attorney, when describing WW's attorney, said she is likely to slap her fist on the table a lot and do things like that.
He told me that he had leaarned "If the law is on you side, you pound on the laws. If the facts are on your side, you pound on the facts. If neither is on your side, you pound on the table."

Okay, here are my 2 action items for the day.

1. Call my church and ask the pastor if he will be willing to write a letter detailing the exploits of WW and #1OM. The attorney says this would be helpful, but the pastor would have to be willing to appear in court if he writes the letter.

2. I'll call AT&T and find out how to get the phone logs. I tried the web-site Friday, but WW has set up the account and I don't know the password.

Mimi - GOOD MORNING -

Okay, I'll let you off on the walk thing for Sunday. However....the Baby Steps are heading in the right direction, right? My new church had their Easter musical Sunday morning. In other news, my new SS teachers MIL has been moved to a rehab center (she had a stroke about 3 weeks ago), but they are doubting that she will recover fully enough to return home.

On Movie News....I finished watching Moulin Rouge (sp?) this weekend. That is the one I checked out of the library. Not really my taste in movies, but I wanted to try a musical on the home theatre. It really, really sounds good. Everyone should have one of these. Oh, I also finished extending the wires and routing them behind the picture rails on Saturday. So that project is officially finished.

Yesterday, my neighbor (the cop) saw me out grilling burgers on the porch and came for a while with his 2 little girls (6 & 3) for them to meet Jeb. They stayed a while and he told me he had a large movie collection that he would be glad to allow me to borrow from. So I went over there and borrowed 3 movies (Con Air, Flying Tigers, something else), but he didn't have Man On Fire. I guess I've got to go rent it.

cc - thanks for following my thread. I'll make time today to read through your thread. I'm excited about your new job.

I'll be in ATL on Wednesday night and Thursday for an annual FAA conference. I always enjoy this, stay at a nice hotel and get to unwind a little. I was remembering last year, WW went with me to this conference. We had just bought her new car and we drove it. Then, after the conference was over, we drove up the Asheville, NC for 3 or 4 days, went to Biltmore and up in the mountains. Nice cool spring time in the mountains in a convertible, it was really wonderful. So much can change in a year, can't it?

Big Georgia Sigh....

Oh well, that's what's happening with the ongoing Georgia saga today.

Georgia

<small>[ March 21, 2005, 07:41 AM: Message edited by: Formerly G.G. ]</small>

Actually FGG,

Nothing has changed in the last year. That is why you are in the position you are in. OM has been in the picture a long time, and his presence has continually eroded your marriage. It is truely a sad thing to watch this unfold, but I truely think she has emotional issues that need to be addressed before anything positive can happen. I am be wrong, but geez this very strange.

God Bless,

JL

Okay, folks, you will find this hard to believe.

I have been able to access my BellSouth / Cingular account on line. I have printed a whole book here. I can access the statements ending Dec. 22, Jan. 22, Feb. 22 (new one tomorrow?).

Here is the calls to Canada from my HOME phone (I've not evaluated cell useage yet):\

Dec. 22 statement: 4,801 minutes (avg. 2 hrs 45 min /day)

Jan. 22 statement: 6,479 minutes (avg. 3 hrs 36 min / day)

Feb. 22 statement: 4,801 minutes (avg. 2 hrs 40 min / day).

INCREDIBLE !!!!

Georgia

Hi Georgia:

Just breezing by to say HELLO....

I thought about you yesterday morning. We went to the gym at 11 rather than taking a walk. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We are continuing to talk a lot about spirituality issues and our concerns about the "old" church.

BABY STEPS.....

Mimi...we may have cross posted there.

I'm going to copy and make a very, very organized detail "book" of these phone records to take to the lawyer. There are hundreds of pages here. Shows every call to / from OM, and how long it lasted.

The $4.95 per month includes up to 3,000 minutes per month to Canada. All 3 of these statements contain a "warning" that she is going over the 3,000 minutes and they may assess extra charges (but they haven't yet).

BTW - The C.S. Lewis book (The Joyous Christian) is wonderful. I'm thinking of posting his short thesis (only about 1 page) on "Faith" here for you to read.

Georgia

GG,

I don't know what they talk about for so long.

My W ran up $8000 of phone bills in the first year of our marriage, talking to OM.

I should have D'ed her then, but I wasn't ready for that - could not believe that she was so ready to throw her life at a voice on the other end of the line - a guy who didn't have the price of a stamp (unless he asked his mother).

He eventually moved here. I'm sure they don't talk that much now.

I'm sorry about your situation. I can't believe a lady of your W's age and experience would be into something like this - except that something is very wrong with her right now.

You know, I'm always think of what you said way back at the beginning of this thread. You quoted her as asking you "Would you have married me if you knew I was going to end up crazy?" I think that was a call for help - but she didn't let you help her. So sad....

-AD

Hi AD -

Yes, I re-read that post recently myself while working on putting my journal together for the attorney.

The answer is still, yes, I would marry her again. I am so sorry she is going through this, the pain she is feeling must be so unbearable. She's not in OM heaven at all.

I guess it is fortunate for me that she signed up for that $4.95 thing, at least I don't have the huge phone bills that you did. Only about $150 month.

Georgia

FGG:

How were you able 2 access the phone charges online?

I have SBC, and I CAN access the bill online, but only IF I forgo ever getting printed bills again.

I saw a one-act, one-actor play a couple of months ago on a local education station. It was already under way when I started watching, so I don't remember the title. The actor was playing CS Lewis, recounting his life 2 the audience, his "house guests."

I'm no longer a Christian, but that was a fascinating show.

-ol' 2long

2Long -

Actually, it was incredibly easy. First, I called Cingular and they could only help out by mailing the call logs to my billing address, so that didn't work.

Then, I went to the Bell South web site and set-up an on-line account. It told me that the account was already set up by WW, and asked if that was okay. Then, I proceeded with nothing more than my phone # and SS #. As we have a "bundled" account (home & wireless), the Bell South site gave me access to the Cingular site as well.

Then, it was just all right there in black and white. I can't wait to get the March 22 statement !!

Okay, 2Long...you make a career of defining yourself as "a former Christian". Get over it. You know you're still seaching for answers and spending a lot of time and effore trying to convince yourself you're comfortable with being an atheist. You know you're not. If you're not careful, I'm going to enter into a full-fledged debate with you. (Something I shy away from, 'specially knowing you're smarter than I am).

BTW - "Shadowlands" is the movie and stage play based on the life of C.S. Lewis. I've seen both. I don't know about the one-act play, but probably very similar. A sad story....met and married one of his fans (Joy Gresham) very late in life. She held a Master's by the age of 20, published poet by 25. Shortly after their marriage, she was diagnosed with cancer and died.

It's interesting that his life is an interesting of a story as his books.

Final note..he died on Nov. 22, 1963 obscured by news of JFK.

Georgia

Since you are opening up this discussion today and I have some time, I am not questioning my FAITH. I think that is strong. I don't want my FAITH to be tested by going to the wrong (can't think of another word) church.

Why do we need to go to church, Georgia?

Ah, FGG:

Remember, I'm spiri2al! So, I'm not uncomfortable at all looking for answers the way I am. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm a SciFi fan, and loved CS Lewis' "Out of the Silent Planet", "Perelandra", and "That Hideous Strength", which are chock full of religious philosophy. Well written and deep, 2.

Not sure SBC has anything like you were able 2 find with your company. For now, I do get 2 see the printed bills, and there haven't been any calls 2 or from (we can see both) RM since last August. ...there are ways, still, if she wants 2 maintain or resume contact.

-ol' 2long