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#1219159 11/20/04 10:21 AM
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Mornin Y'all - busy day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ok, so not really, but I'm getting around a bit better, and am gonna attempt some laundry later <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> woohoohoo!!!

Liny - thanks for the "grounding" - always good to remind ourselves that God allowed us to have a free will to make choices as we choose, not necessarily what He wants us to do...Yes, I am SO very aware of how our choices affect the overall picture, and, believe me, I've made enough of the bad ones to know just how much of a mess we can make of our lives! I think the actual point I was trying to make in my "little" blurb was this: right now, I'm leaning on Christ. I'm trusting Him, and praying, and doing everything I can to follow His will in this situation. Trying to make the choices that He would have me to make, so as not to mess this up...thanks again for the reality check - it's good to have those every so often! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

RIF - cool - I noticed the name change right away, will you be changing it back? Maybe "RecoveredInFaith" now? OK, well it was a thought.

Robby - you got some great advice about how to act/react when W is there to watch the game - I'm with the others, show her how good you can be, not how lost you are without her. Good luck and God Bless {{Robby & W}}

Hugs and prayers for the rest of Idiotville - I'm off to slave-drive my kiddos into some "real" work <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Catch y'all later! ~LemonDash

#1219160 11/20/04 10:27 AM
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Morning idiots. I haven't been around much because I'm helping at work with the casualties from Fallujah.

It sure puts things in perspective. They are all so young.

Hope to be back to Idiotville soon.

#1219161 11/20/04 10:28 AM
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Good morning, fellow Idiots.....

It's another cloudy, drizzly day here in the big D........

What's the weather like in Idiotville?????? I have not looked outside in a few days! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Mr. Mayor....FWIW, I think it is good she is coming over. If there were no or little hope, she would act like my STBXH, and would not make any attempts to even do anything enjoyable with or around you. I think if you just remember to be your loving, nice self ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) then she will be forced to look at what she's really missing. I don't care who wants to move out/leave, etc......it's still very hard on both parties involved.

Oh well - going to go bake some cookie bars! Never can have too much sugar!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1219162 11/20/04 10:29 AM
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Morning RIF
Morning Mayor
Morning to all Idiots (and lurkers/visitors)

Het RIF you may be onto something w/ the whole LINY&Brown could make it thing. I went over to the Recovery posts ... I wanted to see if anyone or anything over there could help me in atleast "trying" and "hoping". I think *WE* are alot of amazing people on this site (yourself included).{{{RIF}}} I don't always know which way is up and I really don't want *HURT* anymore. I just want to be a little more sure I/We/LINY could make it through all of this. (Scarey days ahead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> ) I also have to thank BOB for some of his insights.

Oh and I have read what an "amazing" thing that GC did. Wow!!!! Big Hugs for GC
{{{{{{{{{{GC}}}}}}}}}}. Talk about "giving blessing to each other". I know God will bless you 10 fold for that one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Good work brother!

And how are ya today anyhow's?

The time is my DOB 10/14 hahaha My S-18 always.
says that @ 7:11

Mayor - when is that game - today??? I hope you have plenty of opportunities to Plan A/love bank and whateva it takes to "win the lady". But mostly (I think Kiwi said it) be your self and be strong. I'll be hoping and praying for ya <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Oh and try and have fun too!

I'll be back later

Brown

#1219163 11/20/04 12:12 PM
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Good morning, everyone. (See? I didn't leave anyone out!!)

Because I am posting, I assume everyone is gone for the day. That's what usually happens.

YL - I copied your two posts to Kimmy and pasted them into a word document so I can reread them over and over. It is exactly what I need to do. I am so caught up in the drama I have no peace. I also copied the poem left by our wandering troubador. It, too, was perfect for my situation.

Further proof that I am an idiot:

I drank not two, but four margaritas last night. Two is my limit. I know that. But I had to go and be an idiot. I knew iceberg was going to be gone most of the late afternoon and evening, and I did not need to cook, so I went to do my workout and then to a nearby Mexican Restaurant. I had two margaritas and a half order of nachos. Then I went home just as my son was leaving with some friends to go to another Mexican restaurant and they invited me to go along. I did. We met a whole group of people who ate, laughed, talked and were nice to me. I had two more margaritas and son took me home. Iceberg was home by then but was upstairs watching the big screen. I couldn't have made it up the stairs if I had wanted to, plus I am so tired of going to where he is and speaking and get a grunt or one word answer in reply. Managed to get a shower (I don't know what was the matter with the tub - it seemed to be moving around and around. Will have to check into that.) Then poured myself into bed. He comes in a few minutes later by the bed and said "You didn't even come upstairs?" I sort of said "No I didn't" and he went away mad. Was sullen and not talking this morning, either. He just came home and I walked out to greet him. He just said "Hi" and kept going to the office. I can't do anything right. If I talk, I bother him. If I don't talk, I'm not friendly. If I go to where he is (another room) he acts like he is irritated and wishes I would go away. Tells Curly that I follow him around all the time and he can't get away from me. If I don't go where he is, he is angry and upset. Thinks I am a *****. No matter what I do, it's not the right thing.

Some days I just don't know what to do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I am off this next week for Thanksgiving. I dread it, actually. Don't know how I will manage, exactly. Guess I'll just smile, cook, and keep going one day at a time. Hope you guys will still be around to talk to. It might keep me going. I love idiotville. Licks to all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

#1219164 11/20/04 12:52 PM
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((((((((starz))))))))) - from a few hundred miles away.....

I wish Iceberg would pull his head out, and realize where he is driving you.....to an unsafe, deserted, dark road. The sad thing is, once he pushes you out of the car, you will be long gone, and on your way to a brighter place.....he will be back where he started. He is so blind to what he has. I'm sorry, but he is. Iceberg or not, he needs a good jolt....think we could find a modern day Titanic?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Although I am not a "tenured" member of I-ville, I am still here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .....although not for long. As you know, it's about noon, and I need to get my lazy buttox of the couch and get movin'. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I did bake my cookie bars, though. I think I'll try one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . You want one, starz? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1219165 11/20/04 12:52 PM
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Hi weekend idiots!

Hope everyone is have a great Saturday...

YL- I love that name suggestion! ...but I'm going to keep rebuilding and never stop!!!

Hey Believer - My prayers are with you... thank you for what you're doing...

L.I.T. - We lived in the DFW area (Arlington & Kennedale) for 12 years before moving to Louisiana last June... sometimes I miss it, but I sure don't miss the traffic!

Hey Brown (& LINY if your awake!) - You guys are going to make it... just make up your minds that no matter how hard it gets, that you're going to continue rebuilding!!!

Hi Starz - Wow! 4 margaritas! Well, at least you didn't start shooting tequila shots!!!

Well, it's time for me to sign off... I'll check back tomorrow and see if I need to bump this up again....

#1219166 11/20/04 12:58 PM
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Hey RIF (for tomorrow)! I moved away to DC (Fairfax) for a little over a year, and missed the area, too. Actually, I missed the convenience of everything. I live in the far North Dallas (just south of Plano) area, and I don't have to drive 15 minutes, and I have 4 malls, about 10 grocery stores, 2 SuperTargets, 2 Super Wal Marts (ugh), and restaraunts galore!

Although the traffic does stink. How about this for a visual....I used to work at UTSW in downtown Dallas.....took me at least 1 hour to get back north (20 miles). I now work in downtown Ft Worth, and it takes me the same amount of time (1 hour) to travel 51 miles. The difference, it's just against the traffic! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

For anyone who decides to visit, just know that rush hour in DFW starts at 7am and goes until 10am. In the afternoon, it begins at 3pm, and goes until 7:30pm......so if you need to travel.....well, I guess......just DON'T! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1219167 11/21/04 01:16 AM
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LIT -

I would LOVE a cookie bar. Good thing you're too far away. I really should be good today. Do you know how many weight watcher points and calories are in 4 margaritas?? WWWWAAAAYYYY too many <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I am making homemade soup (Italian soup) and homemade pimento cheese for lunch. IB just stopped in (didn't come in the house) and headed back out to the office building. I asked if he was hungry (he said no) - didn't eat breakfast either - I told him what I had made and he smiled real big and said "thank you" but still drove away. Oh, well. No one ever said Plan A would be easy, did they?

#1219168 11/21/04 01:37 AM
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DOWN WITH THE IB!!!!!!!!

I would gladly give you a cookie bar...or two...or three. I made them, and they are so rich that I cut them into 28 bars (new recipe <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

Now I have 26 bars (ok, guilty as charged <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) and noone to give them to! Hey Idiots.....anyone want to come over and eat????!!!???!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Starz....I am not off next week, (and in fact, really busy Mon and Tues) but with the exception of Thanksgiving evening, I will be alone for the holiday. If you stay in Idiotville, I will, too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> (she says jumping up and down!).

Hope everyone has a most excellent day! I'm off to the shower!

#1219169 11/21/04 01:38 AM
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ps - italian soup sounds sooooooooooo good!

#1219170 11/21/04 01:43 AM
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It's really easy. I brown about 1/2 lb of hamburger - add a can of DelMonte Italian seasoned tomatoes, cut up a potato and some mixed vegetables, salt & pepper, and I add a little Italian Seasoning (I get it at Sam's) and a heaping teaspoonful of minced garlic.

Sometimes if I have any, I add cheese tortellinis. I buy them in a packaged that is dried, not fresh, and can just throw them in if I feel like it. It is yummy. I make lots of soups and stews in the winter. And this yucky weather in our area makes it feel like winter already.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1219171 11/20/04 02:02 PM
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Hey Idiots!!

Quick update. My W went out last night with her sister and a few friends, got drunk (again) and made a total [censored] of herself. I’d give you more details but it’s been a reoccurring pattern for the past 5 years. She is here for the game but is passed out, looks like hell and smells worse. My neighbor asked me this morning why I’ve put up with this behavior for so long and I told him that she would always apologize and promise to never to it again. A great friend of mine equated my behavior to that of a battered spouse… always forgiving and expecting her to change. She does not see anything wrong with her behavior, therefore has no desire to change. I think a new line has been crossed and I’m pretty much done. As I see it we have 3 choices… move toward recovery, move toward divorce, or status quo. Status quo doesn’t work for me anymore and she doesn’t show any desire to work toward recovery. We’re having the discussion tomorrow.

#1219172 11/20/04 02:06 PM
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It sounds delicious! I may just try it tonight. Was planning on a nice quiet evening with myself and a movie..... It seems like it would be great while cuddled up with a blanket on the couch!

( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> yucky weather <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ) The sun is FINALLY trying to peek out here.

As an aside....going to try to watch college football today. Friends asked again, so I figure I can't really ditch them twice. But I will start with baby steps.....not watching the Aggie game, but will watch the Alabama/Auburn game. Wish me luck! If I break down, I will just put myself to bed, pull up the covers, and sleep for the rest of the weekend! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Of course, I will have to come out so I can make your soup!

#1219173 11/20/04 02:12 PM
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(((((((((robby)))))))))

I'm so sorry that she is behaving this way. Oddly enough, I truly know how you feel. And your friend is right....it took me a long time to realize that I was in an emotionally abusive R with my H - my recovery from my own A helped me to wake up. I kept putting up with degrading comments, his alcohol binges, and his disrespect for my feelings (I think this last one is key).....in the hopes that he would change.

Even almost 2 years after d-day, he has not changed. And I realize it is not the relationship I want to have.

(((((((((You will make it through this)))))))))))))

Just remember to focus on her actions, and how the relationship actually is. She is probably feeling sorry for herself - and thus looking for outside stimulation to lift her up. She won't really recover until she realizes she has to help herself......

Take pride in yourself, Mr. Mayor.....for you really have taken the respectable path. I really sympathize with you.....I wish to God I could make it better for you. I know what it feels like <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

#1219174 11/20/04 02:21 PM
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Thanks LIT-

A lot of wisdom in your words...

I'm not feeling down, for now. Just don't know how long that will last. I deserve to be in a loving relationship, so does she... We just can't seem to be in one together. It's just incredibly sad we couldn't figure this out before S was born.

#1219175 11/20/04 02:22 PM
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I haven't seen the sun in 3 days. Hope your team wins!! (And A&M too)

You too, Robby - have fun watching the game and playing with Baby Bear. I think you should drag his mother off the couch or wherever into another room and shut the door. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> She'll wake up eventually. And I thought I was a bad girl last night. Do you have documentation of these behaviors of hers? Witnesses? You might find these useful if this ever goes to court. (Custody issues) Anyway, pop some popcorn and think of me.


IB just called, saying "Do you need anything from town?" Very friendly, said he was going to get a movie and come home. The man is psycho, I'm afraid. This roller coaster ride is making me dizzy and sick to my stomach. (Oh, wait, that might be the margaritas from last night!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1219176 11/20/04 02:23 PM
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Ok, I give up!!!

I've searched for over 10 minutes and can't find this great thing gc has done!!

What did he do?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

#1219177 11/20/04 02:28 PM
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There were 5 deer leaping and playing in back of my house a few minutes ago. Now it's raining and they have gone into the woods. Just what I need - more dreary rain.

IB was supposed to go help cook for a tailgate party tomorrow afternoon before the Texans game. Wonder if it will be rained out?

Oh, well, must go do more laundry, now that I can't watch the deer any more. Can't find my binoculars, anyway.

#1219178 11/20/04 02:31 PM
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Robby, quick drive through Idiotville today.

The thread is called "I want to tell a story of hope" and it's down the bottom of the page.

BTW that sucks with your w but you sound like you're getting your thinking straight which is a good thing.

And a quick "hi" to everyone else.

Jen

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