Ahemm..Mr. Mayor I would like to lodge a complaint! Those idiots that waxed the floors here in Iville didn't do a very good job. I keep getting logged out EVERY time I post!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Can you get a refund? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

DD, I hope the little rock star, and all the rest, had a fun Xmas.

Okay Kimmy - how about some cheap decorating advice. I have a little bungalow, you know - arts & crafts, oak arches and crowns, all that. I built a bench to go by my front door. Now I need a cheap rug, like 3' x 10'. Something for in front of the door and under the bench for dirty boots (my favorite Sonic Youth song BTW).

GC

GC, what year was your bunaglow built? Our house is 1918 and I just love all the moldings and built-ins in our place. We have been adding on a story addition and the contractor did a lovely job of duplicating all the beautiful craftsman like features on the outside. The finish carpenter is making the moldings on site to match the existing moldings. Love these old houses.

Guy walks into a bar, surrounded by the most beautiful models and stars in the world. The shine from his bling bling is blinding! He walks over to the bar, snaps his fingers, and the ladies take off his fur coat. At the same time, Alittle guy hops from the floor, onto the stool, making his way to the bar counter. Plops himself down right in the middle of the complimentary peanuts and starts gnoshing away. Bartender comes over and the man says, "White Russian ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) for me and drinks are on the house!" The bartender turns away and gets pegged with a few peanuts. Upon returning, bartender says, that'll be $500--guy puts several $100 bills on the bar. While putting all of the drinks on the bar, the little guy starts tipping the drinks over one by one. Bling bling man says, "Ah don't worry. Just keep making more," and gets more $100 bills out. Bartender turns to the man and says, WOW! You are really something! You come in here with..." And the man finishes his sentence, "...The most beautiful women and the most money in the world." Out of nowhere, little guy starts telling everybody to go "F@#$ themselves." Bartender ignores and says to the man, "Wow. How did you manage that?" Bling bling says, "Well, ya see, I found this lantern and the genie granted me three wishes." Bartender says, "Lemme guess...Money, beatufil women...but I can't figure out the third!" Bling bling says, "You mean you haven't figured out the guy in the peanuts is my 12 inch pri@#?!?!?"

GOOD MORNING. IDIOTVILLE!!!!!!!

f-again and ff, you are probably right. He hit a nerve with me though. (Guess he "won." Couldn't resist to get sucked in. I, too, told Bob basically the exact same thing:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I see some changes in him but the guy has problems well beyond what this board can offer. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BUT, ff, don't let this one guy stop you from posting because of hisignorance.

Anyway, hope you liked my joke.

{{{{de}}}}
How was your Christmas "break"?????

{{{starz}}}
Best wishes to ya. We'll be thinking/praying for you!

Gotta go check the other threads out. And get more coffee! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

A little laugh for my female friends here who know what it's all about:

*********

The first thing you should know is that hair removal is not my friend. The particular talent of removing unwanted hair has eluded me.. All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now . . The Wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home from work, fixed dinner for my son and we played for a while. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet.

I set up my boy with a video and head to the site of my demise, um, I mean bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg (or wherever) and ignore the frantically rising crescendo of string instruments in the background. No muss, no fuss.

How hard can this be? I mean, I'm not the girly-est of girls but I'm mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how this works. You'd think.

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other, e stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and soften the wax (I'm guessing). I go one better: I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my a$$.(Oh, how that phrase will come back to haunt me.) I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!

With my next wax strip, I move north.

After checking on the boy and verifying that he was, in fact, becoming one with Bear and learning all about smells, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right a$$ cheek. Yeah, it was a long strip.

I inhale deeply. I brace myself. RRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind! Blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And RIIIP! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed? Do I hear crashing drums? OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist.

But why is there no hair on it? Why is the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on the strip?

Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I see hair - the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout "nooooooo!!" And realize I have just begun living my own personal version of "The Tar Baby."

I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake - up until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the toilet.

I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. A$$? Sealed shut. A little voice in my head says "I hope you don't have to **** anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately to figure out what I should do next. Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and get in - the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right?

Wrong. I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment. And I sit.

Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax.

So now I'm stuck to the tub. I call my friend, C, because she once dropped out of beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. It's never good to start a conversation with "So my [censored] and p***y are stuck to the tub." She doesn't have a trick. She does her best to suppress laughter. She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the a$$ - "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She isn't even trying to hide the giggles now.

I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call the number on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were working the help line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their entire crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for everyone we know. You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet if you tell them the truth. "

While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girly goodies than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off!

In the middle of the conversaton (which has inexplicably turned to other subjects!) I find the little, beautiful saving grace that is the lotion provided with wax to remove the excess. I rub some in and start screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations from C and we hang up.

I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that point anyway. And then I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet. Never know when a moustache might start to come in.

Tonight, I attempt hair dying.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> How was your Christmas?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I want to send a big thank you to all the snow fairies up north, Graycloud, Jelly, RH & NOW, LINY & Brown....everyone who gets to see the white fuzzy stuff that falls from the sky on a regular basis. Thank you so much for sending it to the coast of Texas. Our crappy little beach house by the sea got a foot Christmas Eve and it stayed Christmas day! It was the first time my youngest babies (ages 5 & 8) have seen it IRL! We had to drive north to San Antonio to get out of it (we were going there anyway to visit the inlaws).

- Kimmy

Ok some jokes as Liny is being a bit slack - all from AW's archive by the way so you can't blame me.............

A man left for work one Friday afternoon, but since it was payday, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay instead of just going straight home. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and a two-hour tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply asked, "How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?"

The man replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough that he could see her a little bit out of the corner of his left eye.

hahahaha yeah I resemble that...

Now Dealan-de bit of misunderstanding there AW was talking about ocean crayfish not freshwater or marron, though we love those as well, but the sea crayfish have a truly great flavour. Of course trying to get a taste of anything once AW sets her sight on it right now is a lost cause... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Crikey even the salad is just about all gone.!

All the best to you {{{starz}}},, have bit of all you mentioned ..gotta balance things you know...lol

Liny,

Never argue with a fool - they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Now I need a cheap rug, like 3' x 10'. Something for in front of the door and under the bench for dirty boots (my favorite Sonic Youth song BTW).
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sonic Youth - OMGoodness! LMAO!

How about a braided rag rug from Trader Joes or World Market? They aren't that pricy, and are bright and cheery - they also wash in the washer well. They go with any rustic decor, too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY:
<strong> oh, Robby...speaking of $$...any word on those jobs yet? (I'll look for yer answers tommorrow.) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Decision for FL job will be made the week of 1/03...

I'm flying to AZ the second week of Jan.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

hey Kimmy

is there really such a thing as white falling stuff in the US?? Never seen there when I visited at all.

Spent a winter in some mountains in a country I deny I was in a little time ago & I been in New Zealand snow fields and Victorian Snowfields in Aust.

Are you sure Liny isnt pulling my leg??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


Now for more 'Linyism'

A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother’s birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?

She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"

heh heh heh have to tell MIL that one!!!

Hey GC!

Good to see you again!

I won't offer any decorating advice... Think I'm a bit too contemporary for your tastes.

If you ever decide to go with stainless steel, rusted iron and glass block let me know!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Have you met the fokkers?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">is there really such a thing as white falling stuff in the US?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes Aussie, there is fuzzy white stuff that falls from the sky in the US. I loathe and detest it. I keep moving further and further south to get away from it. The last I'd seen it was in Austin, TX in 1989. Damn stuff found me Christmas eve.

My kids loved it, though. I loved that they loved it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Next move: An oil rig in Gulfo de Mexico!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Dealan-de:
[QB] </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Now I need a cheap rug, like 3' x 10'. Something for in front of the door and under the bench for dirty boots (my favorite Sonic Youth song BTW).
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sonic Youth - OMGoodness! LMAO!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cartoon is mine! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Never argue with a fool - they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good advice! Like someone used my favorite: Take the shovel out of your hand, or, more to the point, Stop digging!

I have one more post to him--then I will stop. I'll be back!

PS A2--Hop on the LINY train anytime!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY:
<strong> A2--Hop on the LINY train anytime!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really don't think this is appropriate for a Marriage Building site!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have you met the fokkers?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nuh, I usually call my staff sergeant that and he usually tells me to do it... great understanding don't you think??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Next move: An oil rig in Gulfo de Mexico! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No need to get drastic... just move to Perth Western Australia ... lets see it was 104 today with around 87% humidity and its after midnight and still around 80 or so......and stinking uncomfortable as well.......but the air con is on.

Ah another AW joke... well I HOPE its a joke... because if my Princess is thunkin this way has she got another thought acoming....LOL

A girl has brought her fiance home for dinner. After dinner, the fiance and the girl’s father go into the study for a man to man talk.
"So, what are you doing right now?" asks the father.
"I am a theology scholar," replies the fiance.
"Do you have any plans of employment?"
"I will study and God will provide."
"What about the children?" asks the man.
"God will provide."
"And your house and car?"
"Again, God will provide," says the fiance.
After the talk, the girl’s mother asks the father, "So what did you two talk about?"
The man replies, "He has no plans of employment, but on the other hand, he thinks I’m God."

OK...for the very first time, I am confused by what robby has said:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really don't think this is appropriate for a Marriage Building site!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was referring to my humour, or, as you would say, "What humour?!?!? LINY funny?!?!!?"

{scratching head}

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> OK...for the very first time, I am confused by what robby has said:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really don't think this is appropriate for a Marriage Building site!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was referring to my humour, or, as you would say, "What humour?!?!? LINY funny?!?!!?"

{scratching head}
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Um hello?!?! LINY get your mind out of your head and back into the gutter where it belongs.

You said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">PS A2--Hop on the LINY train anytime!!!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So Robby said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I really don't think this is appropriate for a Marriage Building site!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It was a typical male on male reference....geez! You know, the things you guys say and do with each other to gross the wives out?!?

Get with it budro!

OMG!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

LMAO--embarrasedly!!