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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My wife calls it VELCRO</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">DOOHHHHHH! Just got a visual: What if the man has 5-o-clock shadow and is "performing?" I suppose makes for one happy spouse as they'd be stuck together. HA!!!!!
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I sold all the email addresses to penis enlargement spam houses!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are EVIL!!!! LMAO!!!!!
Mornin' I-ville!
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And Rob said he dreamed all night about Brazilian waxes. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In what aspect?!?!?
LINY's on a roll today!!!!
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Now, all I-ville needs is some jokes from A2, ff, and f-again and we'll be set for the day! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
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I think you're right Liny...
Idiotville is overdue for it's first joke of the day!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
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Liny,
I think I have a hairline fracture in my foot.
If I come up to NY will you set it in a cast for me?
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I heard that............. so
How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing and place it in sectional laundry hamper according to lights and darks. * Walk to bathroom wearing long bathrobe. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. * Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. * Get in shower. Look for face-cloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * Wash you hair once with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. * Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. * Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamprey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil & other oils no one has heard of before. Leave on for 15 minutes. * Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and raw. * Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. Oh Yum * Rinse conditioner off of hair (this takes at least 15 minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). * Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead, then change mind & go for electrolysis. * Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. * Turn off shower. * Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex you keep hanging on the shower glass panel. * Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African Country. * Wrap hair in super-absorbent second towel. * Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. * Return to bedroom wearing bathrobe and towel on head. * If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to the bedroom to spend an hour-and-a-half getting dressed. Brush hair 50 times, primping and trying out what looks best for the next 40 minutes
How To Shower Like A Man... * Take off clothes while walking around the room and leave them where they fall. * Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife & or her girlfriends along the way, flash her/them making the ''woo, woo'' sound. * Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see your pecs. Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your balls. * Get in shower. Don't bother looking for a washcloth. You don't use one. You're a man. * Wash your face. * Wash your armpits if you really think they need it * Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. * Wash your privates and surrounding area. * Wash your [censored], leaving hair on the soap bar. * Shampoo your hair with whatever is available. Do not use conditioner. * Make a shampoo Mohawk. * Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. * Pee (in the shower or bath or sink). * Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub when you checked your Mohawk. * Partially dry off. * Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles .Admire wiener size. Leave shower curtain open and wet mat on the floor. * Leave bathroom light and fan on. * Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife &/or her girlfriends flash & shout ''Oh yeah, baby!'' and thrust your pelvis at her/them. * Throw wet towel on the bed. Take two minutes to get dressed. comb hair with fingers on the way out
ha ha ha I wonder who resembles that a lot ????
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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A2, is that your daily routine? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY sh*t my pants..."
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How do you know when a blondes been having a bad day? Shes got a tampon behind her ear, and she's lookin 4 her pencil.
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LOL ff!!!!!
Where is everyone today?!?!?!?
Robby, did you get the hairline fracture from kicking my [censored]? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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BTW ff--great job with dalson--you should be proud. Not sure how much help I would have been--didn't want to seem the anatogonist in a very fragile mindset with me being the WS. But, it crossed my mind (if he was close) to even go too his house if he would allow and talk it through. Never got an answer where he is. But, he mentioned something about "a" judge in his county. Most likely, not on LI then and rather, upstate somewhere.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LINY: <strong> Robby, did you get the hairline fracture from kicking my [censored]? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, will you set it?
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Thanks Liny, but I didn't do anything but yell for everyone's attention. Somehow I caught his post that is all. That is what happens when I goof on too much. Glad he is ok though.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Dealan-de: <strong> I'm here. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And?
Who asked? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Where is everyone today?!?!?!? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LINY did. A page back at the bottom.
Happy?
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FF
you been looking in my window I think he he
AW has been *****ing at me for 18 yrs on that drop em where I take them off thing... think shes given up.
Love the joke LOL see I knew you could drop your standards in humour to this level if you tried....LMAO
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Robby, did you get the hairline fracture from kicking my [censored]? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ahhhh lets NOT go there LINY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ROTF LMAO
Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
I'm turning vegetarian......lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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serious for moment...
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You and she can either (1) determine a way to have her needs met within the M; (2) get a D; or (3) convince her to live a life of misery.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I got this quote from another thread. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I know my H is trying in his own way. MC, bought me gifts for xmas, NC with OW, home more than he used to be etc. But that fact is my needs have not been met in many years. I am trying to express this to him gently because he is devastated that I didn't come to him instead of having an A. I filled out the ENQ but he won't do it. I try to talk to him but I can't make him fill my needs can I? I love him very much, but I am so unhappy. Now he won't have SF with me, won't touch me sexually I only get some hugs and kisses if I initiate them. The rejection from asking for SF and him refusing is killing me. What do I do?
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hey did you know that its probably not a good idea to mix Fexofenadine & Pseuodephedrine with Irish Whiskey???????
WHy didn't someone tell me?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> AW looking at me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
How do blondes' braincells die? Alone.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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