Bob,

You know how when a child doesn't get enough attention from his parents they tend to "act out", misbehave, or whatever.....the reason they do so is because even negative attention is better than none at all. Does that answer for you why a FWW can have an affair even though it does NOT always or even frequently provide intense pleasure? And you said yourself that the thoughts you have are pointless and painful, so why do you allow them?

What I have noticed is that you are focusing SO MUCH on wanting your wife come to realize the pain she has caused you. I don't think that is productive. I can tell you firsthand that when RH was doing that same thing, I either shut down or backed away. It only felt like he was attempting to punish me continuously. When he backed off from doing that, THAT is when I was able to see what it had done to him.

Also, it does not make ME feel any better when people "bad-mouth" the OM because I realize I was in the same category. Whenever I hear bad things said about the OM/OW I "hear" that about myself.

All these things tend to give us mixed messages....as FWWs.

NOW

Hey Bob mate how r you going right now??

sound a bit down lately, hey dont give it up now.. its getting there you know!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


How are the rest of idiots these days?? more idiotic than usual perhaps???

AW has planted her butt in front of the idiot box watching cricket - Aust Vs Pakistan - she shouldn't bother we'll thrash them ..I know because I have $200 bucks riding on the outcome <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

and she'll hate eating rice and tuna for the next week if I loose ,,,,,hehehheheh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Morning!

Funny

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by fightingalone-again:
<strong> Okay enough serious stuff. Robby, you back home yet? When will the decision be announced? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good Morning Idiotville!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So, my job is not serious, huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I have a meeting this morning with an area president and a 5 pm interview with the decision maker. KEEP EVERYTHING CROSSED!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I hope the decision comes quickly. I'm supposed to start my new job at my current company next Tuesday. I'd hate to start and then quit. Not professional. Wouldn't feel good about it.

I'm going to push, err, nudge (gently) for a quick, err timely decision!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Kimmy. Love the Baby Queen!

Robby, no comment. Have a coffee. Seriously! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Geeese Robby

can I uncross everything now???

My eyes sre stsrting to water!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


(hey good news I hear on the job front AND a big move perhaps as well?)

(ding)

NOW: You have mail.

Robster, I totally agree with EVERYTHING that Starz said regarding your W. I was thinking of her when I was driving home last night.

There are people in this world that if you screw up once think they are owed watching you suffer and be unhappy forever. Your poor wife sounds like she's one of them. She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want you to move on. Didn't you know you are supposed to sit around in your chonies pining after her forever??? Silly Mayor, you're not behaving according to plan!

Sorry, chica, you can't have it both ways....

BTW: I'm proud of you, my friend! You really are a good guy.

faa,

That is SO funny combined with the magic phrase.

I'm far enough in recovery that I had to laugh about H one day. We always share what our fortune cookies say. Once, he took one look at his and turned pale, then refused to read it to me. I couldn't help peeking at it when I cleared the table. "A past love will come back into your life." It should probably have been a trigger, but his reaction to it really warmed my heart.

Dobie

Robby,

I'm with de on that one! And good luck with your meetings today!

RH.....logging off....

Hey A2, long time no see!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

{{{{{A2}}}}}

(I just looove Australian men!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

Hope you leg is better and your thumbs aren't too sore!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Big job is a commin'!! I can smell it!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

May need to add a new job in Idiotville if I get it though: The Mayor's Ego Wrangler! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> That puppy CAN'T be allowed to run amuck!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I wanna move someplace warmer. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are welcome in Texas, anytime GC! You'd love Austin!

All the idjits are welcome here, imo. I'm sure Starz feels the same!

I was out late last night and had a whole day off MB. Was quite proud of myself but then I come back and feel like I've missed out on loads of stuff.

KiwiJ - something major must have been going on yesterday for you (noted a comment about half a bottle gone). Hope you're ok.

BobP - I think you are a treasure. You make me smile. One minute you are torturing yourself with images of Squid and OM and next you're getting her a new wedding band. Well, this is my useless advice. I think it is too soon. Just wait until the pain has eased a bit. It's obviously still so fresh in your mind and it is still only a matter of months. You are reclaiming your marriage bit by bit but you are an impatient man.

And to the belly button lint person - mine's an outty so I don't get that stuff. TT

Legs not too bad, more a bleeding nuisance than anything - bleeding as in replacement swear word not blood <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> -
AW told me I had to turn my language down with a new baby as she didn't want HIM (heh heh) learning his 'first' word is not allowed in polite society <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> keh???

I say F*** anywhere I am....lol - thats 'fool' for you with dirty minds !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I hesitate to ask, .... but what about my thumbs??????
Did I say something when I was full as a boot????
I dont remember anything about thumbs except almost sticking one up my butt out of fear jumping out of a helo on a line drop in Stan one night.........???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Dealan-de:
<strong> Didn't you know you are supposed to sit around in your chonies pining after her forever??? Silly Mayor, you're not behaving according to plan!

Sorry, chica, you can't have it both ways....

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks De, Now, Kiwi & all!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

{{{{{Idiotville}}}}}

W is also a classic cake-eater. Wants everything her way all the time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussie2:
<strong> I hesitate to ask, .... but what about my thumbs??????
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AW said you've been playing a lot of PC games... can be hard on the digits!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Idiots, I had 3 hours invigilating an exam today. Dead boring, not allowed to read a book even. So I wrote a poem and want to share it with you because no one in the whole world would probably understand more the thoughts that were going through my head at the time. I dedicate it to my MB friends.

"No"

A broken promise, a changed life
No special meaning in being your wife
Your beautiful girls so trusting and sweet
Young lives altered so you could go out and cheat

I cared for you but forgot to dote
You edged away from my touch
No talking, no intimacy, so remote
My happy spirit you tried to crush

You let someone into your head
You let someone fester in your heart
You let someone into our bed
You let someone tear us apart

So you felt disillusioned and unhappy
And blamed it all on me
And hatched a plan, the Great Escape
Full of lies, deceit and adultery

You could have, should have turned around
Just simply backed away
"No" would have saved so many tears
"No" was the right thing to say. TT

Yeah, we ALL want things our own way all the time....'cept we don't all EXPECT it! Thinking I was "entitled", that's what got me in trouble! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

{{{{{{ROBBY}}}}}}}}
Hail to the Mayor!

Dealan -Absolutely agree. Move to heaven - live with us down here.

Robby - I will have to uncross everything for a moment and go to the bathroom - hope that's ok. Also, Mayor's Ego Wrangler - that is pretty much handled already by Jelly. BTW - Where is she?

Next portion for Bob - don't read if you would be hurt by it - no intention to hurt my friends in any way.

Bob- My questions re Plan A the other day were directly related to this topic. I have been so stoic and hidden my pain (except for two occasions in a year) that I don't know if IB is truly aware of my pain. I have tried to hide it because I felt that in Plan A that would be counterproductive. That he would not see me as a happy, upbeat person who is going on with her life. (I'm trying, I'm trying). I haven't shown happy, exactly, but content and calm going on with my life. In my situation, the A is still very much alive, the fog is very thick, and although they are not meeting physically any more, they are still in daily contact, I believe. My pain is enormous, but I don't know how (I guess) to let him see my pain, so he begins to be aware of it. I guess I think somehow that Plan A involves hiding it - not letting it show. Maybe I'm wrong. I've been looking for my copy of SAA for two days - I have misplaced it somewhere. I have no desire to hurt him - I guess I feel that letting him see the enormity of my pain would hurt him very much. At least I would hope that he cares enough to hurt. It's questionable right now.

Starz,

I could see RH's pain....he didn't try to hide it. But neither did he lash out at me because of it. Somehow he just felt the pain without really BLAMING me for it. What stands out for me is how he could be so nice to me while feeling all that pain.